{"id":463,"date":"2014-11-15T16:13:10","date_gmt":"2014-11-15T16:13:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/parentingonpurpose\/?p=463"},"modified":"2015-11-30T19:15:30","modified_gmt":"2015-11-30T19:15:30","slug":"mom-alert-putting-yourself-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/parentingonpurpose\/2014\/11\/mom-alert-putting-yourself-first.html","title":{"rendered":"Mom Alert~ Putting Yourself First"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Bigstock<\/a>
Bigstock Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Mothers can often put everyone else\u2019s needs before their own. They make sure that all the kids are ready for school, delivered to their extra-curricular activities, have healthy meals, are listened to and feel loved, and get to bed on time. It\u2019s a busy life.<\/p>\n

Of course, the house has to be cleaned and maintained, and since most American mothers are also working outside the home, they\u2019re taking care of all their work duties as well. To top it all off, they\u2019re taking care of their spouse and often their parents or in-laws, too. Moms can often end up exhausted. If all of this means you\u2019re sacrificing yourself, is it productive?<\/p>\n

Kids on the other hand, naturally put themselves first. Their world revolves around them and it comes naturally to think of their needs and wants first.<\/p>\n

After all, you were a kid once, too. What you wanted was a priority. How is it that you learned that your needs and desires no longer mattered? That may sound harsh, but that\u2019s how a lot of people, especially mothers, act and feel.<\/p>\n

You may know this isn\u2019t true, but a lot of mothers still believe it despite any evidence to the contrary. No one wants their kids to feel like they don\u2019t matter. So what do you do about it?<\/p>\n

This process starts with taking better care of your needs and wants by giving your precious time and energy to yourself as well. No time for that you say? Balance is essential. It means your alignment is your priority, because you won\u2019t inspire your children if you\u2019re not happy. Giving yourself permission to express your own desires teaches your kids to do the same as they go through life. It\u2019s okay and essential to have the life that you want and to show your children they matter in relation to others.<\/p>\n

You can give and give for a while. However, at some point you\u2019ll run out of energy to give. If you never replenish your emotional and physical fuel tank, what will happen to your kids when you\u2019re running on empty? Maybe you\u2019ll be able to carry on with the minimum needed, but you\u2019ll not be the loving parent your children need and deserve. You won\u2019t be the caregiver that you want to be for your kids.<\/p>\n

Not only will your children feel the lack of your emotional presence, but they\u2019re apt to model your behavior with their own intimate relationships. One day in the future, they may be the exhausted parent, employee, or partner. They won\u2019t be taking care of themselves either, thus not being the person they want — and are meant — to be.<\/p>\n

You want to give your time, energy, and of course your love, to your families. To do this completely, you must first be in alignment. This means you must be connected to our higher self and know what brings you joy. Beyond that, you must take steps to meet your own needs. When you\u2019ve done this, you can give to others what you have a surplus of. This means potentially placing said needs ahead of your family\u2019s.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re filled with your own joy, then you can give joy to those you love. When you\u2019re depleted, you probably aren\u2019t sharing joy with anyone.<\/p>\n

Pay attention to how you feel. Tap into your Internal Guidance System (IGS) to learn how to recharge your batteries. Fortunately, there is an endless power supply if you just know how to access it. This is the lesson that will be of value to your children.<\/p>\n

Please share your thoughts.
\n\u00a9 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mothers can often put everyone else\u2019s needs before their own. They make sure that all the kids are ready for school, delivered to their extra-curricular activities, have healthy meals, are listened to and feel loved, and get to bed on time. It\u2019s a busy life. 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