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<\/a>\u00a0Each of wants to feel heard, but how often are we actually? As a parent, we may feel like the conversations we have with our kids centers on what it is they must accomplish and in what time frame. Sound familiar? In our haste we don\u2019t take the time to have easeful conversations.<\/p>\nWe want our children to succeed and we take this to mean they have to keep up with their responsibilities and be timely about it. We can sound like a broken record. Over time, our kids start to selectively tune in or out of what it is we\u2019re saying whichresults in a breakdown in communication that doesn\u2019t serve the relationship.<\/p>\n
In an effort to get our kids to listen more, we can stay conscious of talking to them on varied subjects, not just their \u201cto do\u201d list. Taking the time to ask about their interests goes such a long way with kids. Sometimes it means not saying a single word and just being present with them.
\nOur kids learn to listen, by how they are listened to.<\/em><\/strong> If we don\u2019t stop what we\u2019re doing, and focus on what they\u2019re saying, the message we give them can appear to say, \u201dI\u2019m not listening.\u201d They don\u2019t feel heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give our child is looking them in the eye when they are speaking to us, or when we\u2019re speaking to them.<\/p>\nListening is an art<\/em><\/strong> and to be really good at it you must practice stillness of mind, eye contact and an ease of focus toward who ever you are conversing with. We can teach our children to listen by listening to them. They\u2019ll be more likely to become great listeners in the future and have better success in this area of their relationships.<\/p>\nThere is also a certain level of illusion to whether our kids are actually listening to us. It\u2019s best not to be fooled by appearances, as they often are<\/em> listening but make sure it appears like they\u2019re not. Haven\u2019t we had the experience where we feel tuned out but at a later date our child shows us by what they\u2019re saying that they were indeed hearing us?<\/p>\nAs our children get older and become teens, they move toward being more independent, and this may show up as a \u201clistening\u201d wall that can\u2019t be penetrated. If we can practice<\/em> not being attached to a certain result and stay true to the art of listening we increase our chances of them hearing us. This is indeed a practice. In other words, when we\u2019re talking to them and they won\u2019t acknowledge us we can choose to be reactive or we can choose to say what we have to say with ease. There are few things that stop someone from listening to us faster than when we go into reactive mode.
\nOur beliefs and expectations shape all of our experiences, and being listened to is no exception. Expect that you are being heard and chances are you will be. By allowing situations to unfold without being attached to certain results you create openness and increase the probability that your child is indeed listening.<\/p>\nPlease feel free to comment.<\/p>\n
\u00a9 2014. \u00a0Sharon Ballantine. \u00a0All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n
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\u00a0Each of wants to feel heard, but how often are we actually? As a parent, we may feel like the conversations we have with our kids centers on what it is they must accomplish and in what time frame. Sound familiar? In our haste we don\u2019t take the time to have easeful conversations. We…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":569,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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![\"Trouble](\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/parentingonpurpose\/files\/2014\/06\/bigstock-Trouble-Communicating-with-our-39751930.jpg\")
<\/a>\u00a0Each of wants to feel heard, but how often are we actually? As a parent, we may feel like the conversations we have with our kids centers on what it is they must accomplish and in what time frame. Sound familiar? In our haste we don\u2019t take the time to have easeful conversations.<\/p>\n