{"id":156,"date":"2014-05-28T13:52:46","date_gmt":"2014-05-28T13:52:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/parentingonpurpose\/?p=156"},"modified":"2014-05-28T13:52:46","modified_gmt":"2014-05-28T13:52:46","slug":"parents-as-coaches-teaching-our-children-to-think-for-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/parentingonpurpose\/2014\/05\/parents-as-coaches-teaching-our-children-to-think-for-themselves.html","title":{"rendered":"Parents As Coaches~ Teaching Our Children To Think For Themselves"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Kids<\/a>It’s easy for all of us to do things out of habit rather than thinking about our actions. Whether you want to or not, you teach your children all sorts of lessons that will also help them to develop habits. Therefore, one of the most important things parents can do as teachers is to coach their kids to think for themselves and to understand why they are doing what they do.<\/p>\n

Everyone has experienced the inquisitiveness of young children repeatedly asking, \u201cWhy?\u201d about everything that is said.<\/p>\n

Naturally, this isn\u2019t always welcome in the moment, especially if you\u2019ve had a stressful day at work and long to merely put your feet up for a few minutes. Whether this is true or not, stifling this natural curiosity does your children a disservice and you miss the opportunity to teach them to think rather than accept things just \u201cbecause you said so.\u201d<\/p>\n

When the urge to understand why you are doing something is suppressed, you start to do things without thinking about it. While this may allow someone to follow directions and orders well, it doesn\u2019t instill critical thinking skills. \u00a0It also doesn\u2019t require children to check in with their Internal Guidance<\/i> Systems<\/i> to see how doing something feels to them.<\/p>\n

In order to raise independent, thoughtful adults and leaders, you must teach your kids that they can and should think for themselves. They should know that it\u2019s okay to continue asking, \u201cWhy?\u201d so they understand what is happening and can make the appropriate choices.<\/p>\n

By understanding the reasoning behind an action, children can then use the knowledge, not only for similar situations, but in order to apply the rationale to other situations. Without that level of understanding, children are merely copying behaviors.<\/p>\n

To help illustrate this point, please consider the following:<\/p>\n

One Saturday, a newlywed was preparing a romantic dinner. She took out all the ingredients for a fine roast. She proceeded to cut off each end of the roast beef before carefully placing it in the pan. Her husband asked, \u201cWhy did you cut off the ends of the roast?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at him, paused, and replied, \u201cThat is what my mother did.\u201d<\/p>\n

With her curiosity kindled, the young woman called her mother and asked her why she always cut off the ends of the roast. Her mother said, \u201cThat\u2019s what my mother did.\u201d<\/p>\n

Certain she would learn some great secret about how meat is more tender when prepared this way, the woman phoned her grandmother and asked, \u201cGrandma, why do you cut off both ends of the roast before put it in the oven?\u201d Her Grandmother replied, \u201cI don\u2019t do that any longer, but when I was younger I didn\u2019t have a pan large enough to hold the entire roast so I had to cut it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next time you are tempted to have your children do something \u201cyour\u201d way without understanding why, consider how many generations may be affected by this habit. It may seem unimportant at the time, but the result may not be as harmless as unnecessarily cutting a roast.<\/p>\n

Please feel free to comment.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 2014. \u00a0Sharon Ballantine. \u00a0All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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