{"id":102,"date":"2014-04-17T13:23:58","date_gmt":"2014-04-17T13:23:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/parentingonpurpose\/?p=102"},"modified":"2014-04-17T13:23:58","modified_gmt":"2014-04-17T13:23:58","slug":"our-teens-and-peer-pressure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/parentingonpurpose\/2014\/04\/our-teens-and-peer-pressure.html","title":{"rendered":"Our Teens And Peer Pressure"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Depositphotos_18706303_s\"<\/a>Peer pressure is something all of our children have the potential to be influenced by. This can be particularly true once they reach their teens. As parents, we hope our kids won\u2019t succumb to pressures to be or do things that don\u2019t serve them, but the reality is that teens want to fit in with their social group. And this can mean being faced with choices that may be hard to resist.<\/p>\n

One of the phrases I heard often from my three kids as they were growing up was, \u201cAll the kids do it Mom.\u201d \u201cIt,\u201d referring to many different scenarios and activities. I\u2019m sure I wasn\u2019t privy to all the choices they were given, either.<\/p>\n

By teaching our kids at an early age about their own Internal Guidance System (IGS) we help them access their instincts, which will guide them to their highest choices.<\/p>\n

Granted, kids aren\u2019t always interested in their highest choices, but this practice of listening to their internal self, and at least being aware of it will show them they always have a choice. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Each of us has our own<\/i><\/b> IGS that guides us to our best choices and no two people\u2019s match. We want to teach our kids to follow their own IGS and not ours. This can be a challenge, as we often don\u2019t trust our kid\u2019s choices. However, it is essential for their personal growth by learning to trust what they are feeling. As adults we learn to clarify and fine tune who we want to be in our lives by occasionally making choices that aren’t in our best interest. This is also true for our teens.<\/p>\n

A few ways you can help your kids be aware of their IGS is to encourage them to pay attention to their feelings. If they feel good about any given choice, then this choice will serve them in some way. If they feel bad in any way then this choice won\u2019t serve them.\u00a0 It may sound simplistic, but our guidance is not designed to be complicated.<\/p>\n

A few ways to encourage<\/i><\/b> your teens to focus inward and learn to trust their IGS:<\/p>\n

~ Know they have a say in what they do. Speak their truth. Know they matter.<\/p>\n

~ Allow others to make their own choices without judgment. This doesn\u2019t mean it has to be the choice they make.<\/p>\n

~ Pay attention to what feelings come up when considering any choice. Are they feeling fearful, happy, or sad? Their feelings are their indicators.<\/p>\n

~Befriend their guidance by holding the intention of noticing it regularly. Being constantly aware of it is an important first step to using it.<\/p>\n

~ Know their guidance is unique to them and doesn\u2019t require the approval of anyone outside of themselves.<\/p>\n

~ Notice how situations turn out based on whether they listened to their IGS or didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

The teen years are a time of growth and self-discovery. We don\u2019t have control over the choices our teens make, and much of the time, aren\u2019t even present when they make them. What we can do is help our kids learn to make the choices in life that will keep them on a positive path. Remembering too, that we achieve more clarity<\/i><\/b> by sometimes living things that didn\u2019t feel good to us and perhaps weren\u2019t our best choice.<\/p>\n

Teaching them about their own Internal Guidance System will enable them to live their best lives.<\/p>\n

Please comment!<\/p>\n

\u00a9 2014. \u00a0Sharon Ballantine. \u00a0All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n

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Peer pressure is something all of our children have the potential to be influenced by. This can be particularly true once they reach their teens. 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