{"id":908,"date":"2010-10-04T13:31:33","date_gmt":"2010-10-04T13:31:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html"},"modified":"2010-10-04T13:31:33","modified_gmt":"2010-10-04T13:31:33","slug":"chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html","title":{"rendered":"Chewing the Fat:  My Husband Left Me for a Younger Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Dear Our Lady of Weight Loss ~<\/strong> My husband left me for another woman two years ago, and I&#8217;ve been divorced for a year now.<br \/>\nIn 1992, I started working with a man named Bob, to whom I was very much attracted&#8230;..honestly. And, yes, it was mutual.  Nothing came of it, as we were both married. I haven&#8217;t seen Bob in almost 15 years. At that time I was 40 years old, and weighed 125 lbs. and at the risk of sounding immodest, I was pretty darn cute.   Now &#8230; fast forward &#8230; 15 years later, and I weigh 185, and at the risk of sounding pathetic, I am fat and frumpy.<br \/>\nBob and I have rekindled our friendship on the Internet. We talk on the phone and exchange e-mails daily. We&#8217;re both single now, and he&#8217;s coming to visit me on in 4 weeks.<br \/>\nI desperately want to see him, but I fear he&#8217;ll be repelled by my appearance. I know I can&#8217;t lose 60 lbs in under a month, but I&#8217;d like to lose as much weight as is realistically possible.<br \/>\nWhat can I do? I&#8217;m so paralyzed with fear, I&#8217;m thinking of calling off our date.  <strong>~ Thanks, Linda<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Dear Linda ~<\/strong> First let&#8217;s talk self-esteem, photos and then realistic weight loss &#8230; and then what to do. Okay?  Okay!!!<br \/>\n<strong>Self-Esteem: <\/strong> Are you judging yourself solely based on your weight?  Please, right now write down at least 10 great things about yourself and keep the list going.  When a person is comfortable in their own skin (no matter the weight of the skin); when a person loves themselves, they ooze confidence, which is definitely attractive.<br \/>\n<strong>Photos:<\/strong>  Have you seen a recent photo of Bob?  15 years is quite a while and I&#8217;m betting he&#8217;s changed, too, in more ways than one.  Maybe you won&#8217;t like him.  Just a thought.<br \/>\n<strong>Bottom line:<\/strong>  I invite you to consider if he is worthy of you!<br \/>\n<strong>Weight loss:<\/strong>  If you were to be on a say, a healthy weight loss plan, you would max lose 2 pounds per week.  When I permanently removed over 50 pounds, I averaged about 1 pound per week, even in the beginning.  Slow n&#8217; steady always wins the weight loss race.<br \/>\n<strong>Bottom line:<\/strong>  Are you losing weight so Bob will like you?  Or, are you losing it for you?  If you want to embark on a healthy living plan for YOU, let&#8217;s set up an appointment for a free consultation.<br \/>\n<strong>What to do?<\/strong>  Breathe first, always.  Deep cleansing breaths.  Have an honest conversation (but not a self-deprecating conversation) and send him a recent photo.  If Bob says he doesn&#8217;t want to see you because you are on the chubby side, so be it.  His loss.  Do, however, make it a good photo J  Hair, make-up and an outfit that fits.<br \/>\n<strong>TIP:<\/strong>  Always wear clothes that fit.  No matter your size.  It is KEY to looking great.  And in my book, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/All-Forgiven-Move-Fat-Burning-Sveltesville\/dp\/014200524X\">All Is Forgiven, Move On<\/a>: Our Lady of Weight Loss&#8217;s 101 Fat Burning Steps to Sveltesville, there is an entire STEP dedicated to what to wear to look thinner!  Not that thin is the beat all, end all.  It&#8217;s only a little slice of the pie.<br \/>\nSpread the word &#8230; NOT the icing!<br \/>\n<strong>~ Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/strong><br \/>\n&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;<br \/>\n<em>Curious about coaching?<\/em>  Janice Taylor can help you live your best life! <a href=\"mailto:janice@ourladyofweightloss.com\">Write Janice<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>Follow Janice on <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/OurLady\">Twitter<\/a> and\/or <a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/home.php#\/profile.php?sid=d82081eb96fa8033ec096ad6ccfd2b0a&amp;id=557881698&amp;hiq=janice%2Ctaylor\">Facebook<\/a>! <\/p>\n<p>Join the <a href=\"http:\/\/community.beliefnet.com\/kick_in_the_tush_club\"><strong>Our Lady of Weight Loss&#8217;s Kick in the Tush Club<\/strong><\/a>: <a class=\"zem_slink\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Beliefnet\" title=\"Beliefnet\" rel=\"wikipedia\">Beliefnet<\/a> Chapter.<\/p>\n<p>Visit:  <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ourladyofweightloss.com\">www.OurLadyofWeightLoss.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Our Lady of Weight Loss, In 1992, I started working with a man named Bob, to whom I was very much attracted&#8230;..honestly. And, yes, it was mutual. Nothing came of it, as we were both married. I haven&#8217;t seen Bob in almost 15 years. At that time I was 40 years old, and weighed&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":123,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2166,70,3,60,176],"tags":[313,3818,2112,3878,3834,3825,2167,3837],"class_list":["post-908","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chewing-the-fat-2","category-janice-taylor","category-motivation","category-our-lady-of-weight-loss","category-weight-loss-coach-2","tag-chewing-the-fat","tag-inspiration","tag-janice-taylor-weight-loss-success-coach","tag-letters-to-our-lady-of-weight-loss","tag-mental-health","tag-our-lady-of-weight-loss","tag-weight-loss-advice-columns","tag-weight-loss-motivation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Chewing the Fat: My Husband Left Me for a Younger Woman - Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Chewing the Fat: My Husband Left Me for a Younger Woman - Our Lady of Weight Loss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Our Lady of Weight Loss, In 1992, I started working with a man named Bob, to whom I was very much attracted.....honestly. And, yes, it was mutual. Nothing came of it, as we were both married. I haven&#039;t seen Bob in almost 15 years. At that time I was 40 years old, and weighed&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Our Lady of Weight Loss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-10-04T13:31:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Janice Taylor, Editor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Chewing the Fat: My Husband Left Me for a Younger Woman - Our Lady of Weight Loss","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Chewing the Fat: My Husband Left Me for a Younger Woman - Our Lady of Weight Loss","og_description":"Dear Our Lady of Weight Loss, In 1992, I started working with a man named Bob, to whom I was very much attracted.....honestly. And, yes, it was mutual. Nothing came of it, as we were both married. I haven't seen Bob in almost 15 years. At that time I was 40 years old, and weighed&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html","og_site_name":"Our Lady of Weight Loss","article_published_time":"2010-10-04T13:31:33+00:00","author":"Janice Taylor, Editor","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html","name":"Chewing the Fat: My Husband Left Me for a Younger Woman - Our Lady of Weight Loss","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-10-04T13:31:33+00:00","dateModified":"2010-10-04T13:31:33+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#\/schema\/person\/dc42b945b8badcadcbe5a3fc4cc5aac5"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2010\/10\/chewing-the-fat-my-husband-lef-1.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Chewing the Fat: My Husband Left Me for a Younger Woman"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/","name":"Our Lady of Weight Loss","description":"Weight Loss, Diet, Exercise, Health and Wellness Advice","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#\/schema\/person\/dc42b945b8badcadcbe5a3fc4cc5aac5","name":"Janice Taylor, Editor","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/484\/4844b9725e31d98e40565d31193668e2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/484\/4844b9725e31d98e40565d31193668e2x96.jpg","caption":"Janice Taylor, Editor"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.ourladyofweightloss.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/author\/jtaylor"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/908","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/123"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=908"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/908\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=908"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=908"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=908"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}