{"id":6401,"date":"2015-07-22T11:51:04","date_gmt":"2015-07-22T15:51:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/?p=6401"},"modified":"2015-07-22T11:51:04","modified_gmt":"2015-07-22T15:51:04","slug":"does-namby-pamby-fit-you-or-buy-a-doormat-dont-be-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2015\/07\/does-namby-pamby-fit-you-or-buy-a-doormat-dont-be-one.html","title":{"rendered":"Does NAMBY-PAMBY Fit You? -or- Buy a Doormat; Don’t Be One!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Ready
Ready to STOP Being a Doormat? – contact Janice Taylor, Life and Weight Loss SUCCESS Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, Artist, Positarian<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This very morning, while sipping (okay, gulping down) our first cup of coffee (ahhhhh–here comes that first cup morning rush), Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/a> and I simultaneously\u00a0 clicked on, as in opened the link to, one of my favorite shopping sites, One King\u2019s Lane<\/a>.\u00a0 (Look at me! Multi-tasking!)<\/p>\n

More often than not, I find this site to be chock-a-block with a wide range of items, many of which are on the relatively inexpensive side that reflect a number of my fantasy lifestyles–from country chic to down home funky to sophisticated and urbane.<\/p>\n

I sip, I click, I fantasize, I fill up my shopping cart, I close the computer.\u00a0 I rarely buy (sorry One King\u2019s Lane).\u00a0 Unless, of course, it haunts me for a minimum of 24 hours, said item(s) are within budget, and I am fairly certain that the item is going to \u201cchange\u201d my life for the better.\u00a0 I have \u201cbuying\u201d rules, which serve me well and could be applied to food, but that\u2019s another matter for another day.<\/p>\n

This morning\u2019s sale entitled \u201cPets Welcome\u201d featured a number of dog doormats.\u00a0 One of which featured a pug.\u00a0 Back in the day, in my former-former-former existence, I had a pug.\u00a0 A pug and a great dane; Sheba and Merle Oberon, respectively.<\/p>\n

Anyway, a long circuitous story, but the doormats reminded me that some time back, I\u2019d written a piece about doormats; about being a doormat.\u00a0 And being a doormat does, sometimes come hand n\u2019 hand with carrying too much weight; does it not?<\/p>\n

With all that in mind, I thought\u2013why not pull this fun, wise and utterly useful piece from the Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/a> vault and share again!?!\u00a0\u00a0 So\u2026have fun (a key component to a happy, successful, healthy life), take the doormat piece\/quiz with a grain of salt (just a grain!), and oh yes, take the actual quiz.<\/p>\n

If the quiz uncovers that you are a bit of a doormat, then simply make a small adjustment here n’ there so that you can let go of doormat status.\u00a0 Small, gentle adjustments are wise.<\/p>\n

Ready?\u00a0 Okay! Here we go!!!<\/p>\n

Fat, thin or regular sized, be brave and take this true\/false quiz!
\nDoes the word \u201cnamby-pamby\u201d fit you?\u00a0 <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

True or False?<\/strong> How many of these statements do you identify with?<\/p>\n

1. You do things for other people that you really don\u2019t want to do that are clearly beyond the call of duty.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Example: Your neighbor pops in and asks if you can watch her kids for the afternoon. She says that she hasn\u2019t had a break for at least a week, and she wants to take herself to the movies. You say okay, even though you haven\u2019t had a break in \u2026 geeze Louise, it\u2019s been so long you can\u2019t remember \u2026 and you don\u2019t even like her kids!<\/p>\n

True or False?<\/p>\n

2. You lie because you want to accommodate someone else.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Example: Your daughter-in-law asks if you are busy on Friday because that\u2019s the day she that works best for her to get together, and even though you have a fully loaded day and will have to go to great inconvenience to reschedule all, you say, \u201cOh that\u2019s perfect, my calendar is free. Works for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

True or False?<\/p>\n

3. When asked what your preference is, you defer to others, even though you strongly do have a preference.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Example: When asked what type of restaurant you prefer to dine in, you say, \u201cWhatever you like.\u201d And then \u2026 you end up going to a greasy spoon comfort food place that has absolutely nothing on the menu that you want to or should eat, and \u2014 by the way \u2014 you are miserable!<\/p>\n

True or False?<\/p>\n

4. You make vague comments about things and expect people to read your mind and then you play the martyr.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Example: You tell a friend, \u201cOh my back has been acting up a bit lately. Sometimes when I stand for long period of times or walk too slowly, it goes into a spasm.\u201d One week later, they call and say let\u2019s go to a museum, and you are really put upon and peeved that they don\u2019t get that a museum might activate your spasm.<\/p>\n

True or False?<\/p>\n

5. You stuff down your feelings with food.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Example: Instead of telling your son, daughter or friend that you are feeling neglected and yes, angry, that they forgot your birthday, you bake yourself a cake and stuff those feelings down with extra icing.<\/p>\n

True or False?<\/p>\n

6. You are so wanting every one in the world to like you that you start to unravel and shift rather quickly into a \u2018downward\u2019 spiral at the thought of anyone not liking you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Example: Your new friend hasn\u2019t called you in a week and you begin to think, without even considering whether they are busy or not, that they just don\u2019t like you. Feelings of sadness rise to the surface, anxiety sets in and the unraveling begins!<\/p>\n

True or False?<\/p>\n

7. You think you are \u2018oh so good\u2019 for overriding your feelings, putting others before yourself and being the doormat that you are!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Example: You look at the above list and identify with each and every statement and think that you are a good person for being uber-available to all, and that those who don\u2019t drop their lives for others are selfish.<\/p>\n

True or False?<\/p>\n

6-7 Trues? You are the \u2026 Biggest Namby-Pamby Ever.
\n3-5 Trues? You are \u2026 somewhat stable.
\n1-2 Trues? You are \u2026 strong enough!
\n0 Trues? You are \u2026 super-empowered and perhaps, maybe even a little too inflexible?<\/em><\/p>\n

What to do? How to change it around? How to move from Doormat to Empowered Woman?<\/strong><\/p>\n

*\u00a0 Learn to say \u201cNo\u201d in multiple languages.<\/p>\n

*\u00a0 Answer any and all requests with: \u201cI\u2019ll get back to you on that later.\u201d Thus, creating thinking time so that you can think it through and possibly find the courage to say \u201cno!\u201d<\/p>\n

*\u00a0 Schedule \u2018non-negotiable\u2019 time for yourself.<\/p>\n

*\u00a0 Or you could lighten up, for goodness sake, and laugh at yourself. Buy a doormat!<\/p>\n

\u201cBuy a doormat, don\u2019t be one!\u201d ~ Janice Taylor <\/em><\/strong>(feel free to quote m on that one!)<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

For more weight loss and wellness wisdom, visit:\u00a0 Kick in the Tush Club\/ Facebook page!!! <\/a><\/p>\n

Spread the Word \u2026. NOT the icing!<\/em><\/p>\n

Janice Taylor<\/em>
\n wise * fun * utterly useful<\/em><\/p>\n

Sign up for the KICK in the TUSH CLUB monthly e-newsletter, sign up here<\/a>.
\nTo join the FACEBOOK\/KITT Club, click here<\/a>!
\nFor one-on-one coaching<\/a>, contact Janice<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This very morning, while sipping (okay, gulping down) our first cup of coffee (ahhhhh–here comes that first cup morning rush), Our Lady of Weight Loss and I simultaneously\u00a0 clicked on, as in opened the link to, one of my favorite shopping sites, One King\u2019s Lane.\u00a0 (Look at me! Multi-tasking!) 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