{"id":500,"date":"2009-08-07T07:41:39","date_gmt":"2009-08-07T07:41:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html"},"modified":"2009-08-07T07:41:39","modified_gmt":"2009-08-07T07:41:39","slug":"are-fat-people-doormats","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html","title":{"rendered":"Are fat people doormats?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Our Lady of Weight Loss: I am NOT a doormat. \" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/100\/import\/ART%20NOT%20a%20doormat.jpg\" width=\"234\" height=\"143\" class=\"mt-image-right\" style=\"float: right;margin: 0 0 20px 20px\" \/><\/span><strong>Do fat people tend toward being foolishly sentimental and soft?<\/strong>  Does the word &#8216;namby-pamby&#8217; <em>fit <\/em>you?  Fat, thin or regular sized, be brave and take this &#8216;true\/false quiz!&#8217;<br \/>\n<strong>True or False? How many of these statements do you identify with?  <\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>1. You do things for other people that you really don&#8217;t want to do that are clearly beyond the call of duty.<\/strong><br \/>\nExample:  Your neighbor pops in and asks if you can watch her kids for the afternoon.  She says that she hasn&#8217;t had a break for at least a week, and she wants to take herself to the movies.  You say okay, even though you haven&#8217;t had a break in &#8230; geeze Louise, it&#8217;s been so long you can&#8217;t remember &#8230; and you so don&#8217;t even like her kids!<br \/>\nTrue or False?<br \/>\n<strong>2.  You lie because you want to accommodate someone else.<\/strong><br \/>\nExample:  Your daughter-in-law asks if you are busy on Friday because that&#8217;s the day she that works best for her to get together, and even though you have a fully loaded day and will have to go to great inconvenience to reschedule all, you say, &#8220;Oh that&#8217;s perfect, my calendar is free. Works for me!&#8221;<br \/>\nTrue or False?<br \/>\n<strong>3. When asked what your preference is, you defer to others, even though you strongly do have a preference.<\/strong><br \/>\nExample:  When asked what type of restaurant you prefer to dine in, you say, &#8220;Whatever you like.&#8221; And then &#8230; you end up going to a greasy spoon comfort food place that has absolutely nothing on the menu that you want to or should eat, and &#8211; by the way &#8211; you are miserable!<br \/>\nTrue or False?<br \/>\n<strong>4. You make vague comments about things and expect people to read your mind and then you play the martyr.<\/strong><br \/>\nExample: You tell a friend, &#8220;Oh my back has been acting up a bit lately.  Sometimes when I stand for long period of times or walk too slowly, it goes into a spasm.&#8221;  One week later, they call and say let&#8217;s go to a museum, and you are really put upon and peeved that they don&#8217;t get that a museum might activate your spasm.<br \/>\nTrue or False?<br \/>\n<strong>5. You stuff down your feelings with food.<\/strong><br \/>\nExample:  Instead of telling your son, daughter or friend that you are feeling neglected and yes, angry, that they forgot your birthday, you bake yourself a cake and stuff those feelings down with extra icing.<br \/>\nTrue or False?<br \/>\n<strong>6. You are so wanting every one in the world to like you that you start to unravel and shift rather quickly into a &#8216;downward&#8217; spiral at the thought of anyone not liking you.<\/strong><br \/>\nExample:  Your new friend hasn&#8217;t called you in a week and you begin to think, without even considering whether they are busy or not,  that they just don&#8217;t like you.  Feelings of sadness rise to the surface, anxiety sets in and the unraveling begins!<br \/>\nTrue or False?<br \/>\n<strong>7. You think you are &#8216;oh so good&#8217; for overriding your feelings, putting others before yourself and being the doormat that you are!<\/strong><br \/>\nExample:  You look at the above list and identify with each and every statement and think that you are a good person for being uber-available to all, and that those who don&#8217;t drop their lives for others are selfish.<br \/>\nTrue or False?<br \/>\n6-7 Trues?  You are the &#8230; Biggest Namby-Pamby Ever.<br \/>\n3-5 Trues?  You are &#8230; somewhat stable.<br \/>\n1-2 Trues?  You are &#8230; strong enough!<br \/>\n0 Trues?  You are &#8230; super-empowered and perhaps, maybe even a little too inflexible?<br \/>\n<strong>What to do?  How to change it around?  How to move from Doormat to Empowered Woman?<\/strong><\/p>\n<li>Learn to say &#8220;No&#8221; in multiple languages!\n<li>Answer any and all requests with: &#8220;I&#8217;ll get back to you on that later.&#8221;  Thus, creating thinking time so that you can think it through and possibly find the courage to say &#8220;no!&#8221;\n<li>Schedule &#8216;non-negotiable&#8217; time for yourself.\n<li><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Are fat people doormats.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/100\/import\/ART%20doormat.jpg\" width=\"137\" height=\"270\" class=\"mt-image-left\" style=\"float: left;margin: 0 20px 20px 0\" \/><\/span>Or, lighten up, for goodness sake, and laugh at yourself.  Buy one of these great doormats from amazon.com <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/I-Am-Not-Doormat\/dp\/B001JRIA1E\/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&amp;s=home-garden&amp;qid=1249642564&amp;sr=8-2\">I am NOT a doormat &#8211; doormat<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Kikkerland-Door-mat-Jolly-Roger\/dp\/B0014ZANDY\/ref=sr_1_65?ie=UTF8&amp;s=home-garden&amp;qid=1249642819&amp;sr=1-65\">Skull and Crossbones Doormat<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Butter-Butt-Call-Biscuit-Doormat\/dp\/B000LJ7B6Q\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=home-garden&amp;qid=1249642736&amp;sr=1-1\">Butter My Butt Doormat<\/a><br \/>\nMore inspired links meant to inspire!<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/07\/drop-dead-diva-judging-fat-peo.html\">Judging Fat People<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/07\/gastric-bypass-surgery-how-muc.html\">Gastric By-Pass: How much is fat costing America?<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/07\/f-is-for-fat-mississippi-wins.html\">F is for FAT: Where do the fattest people live?<\/a><br \/>\n<em>Spread the word, not the icing!<br \/>\nJanice<\/em><br \/>\n&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;<br \/>\nFollow Janice on <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/OurLady\">Twitter<\/a> and\/or <a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/home.php#\/profile.php?sid=d82081eb96fa8033ec096ad6ccfd2b0a&amp;id=557881698&amp;hiq=janice%2Ctaylor\">Facebook<\/a>!<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Our-Lady-Weight-Loss-Motivational\/dp\/B000QRIHY8\/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b\"><strong>Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal<\/strong><\/a> an <strong>OPRAH BOOK CLUB<\/strong> pick: Summer 2009 &#8211; Buy NOW!<br \/>\nJoin the <a href=\"http:\/\/community.beliefnet.com\/kick_in_the_tush_club\"><strong>Our Lady of Weight Loss&#8217;s Kick in the Tush Club<\/strong><\/a>: <a class=\"zem_slink\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Beliefnet\" title=\"Beliefnet\" rel=\"wikipedia\">Beliefnet<\/a> Chapter.<br \/>\nWrite Janice Taylor, Weight Loss Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Author and 50-pound big-time-loser for an introductory <a href=\"mailto:janice@ourladyofweightloss.com\">one-on-one coaching<\/a> session.<br \/>\nVisit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ourladyofweightloss.com\">Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/a>.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.ourladyofweightloss.com\/motivation\/coach.asp\"><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"ART heart.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/100\/import\/ART%20heart.jpg\" class=\"mt-image-left\" height=\"34\" width=\"34\"><\/span> <\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.ourladyofweightloss.com\/motivation\/coach.asp\"> about Janice<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our Lady of Weight Loss invites you to take her &#8216;doormat quiz,&#8217; and determine whether you are super-empowered, strong enough, somewhat stable, or the &#8220;biggest namby-pamby ever!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":123,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[70,213,3,737,176],"tags":[1280,1282,3838,1281,3820,3823,3826,3834,3825,3848,8,3837,163],"class_list":["post-500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-janice-taylor","category-mental-health","category-motivation","category-self-confidence","category-weight-loss-coach-2","tag-are-fat-people-doormats","tag-are-you-a-victim","tag-depression","tag-fat-people-are","tag-happiness","tag-health","tag-janice-taylor","tag-mental-health","tag-our-lady-of-weight-loss","tag-self-confidence","tag-weight-loss-coach","tag-weight-loss-motivation","tag-wellness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are fat people doormats? - Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are fat people doormats? - Our Lady of Weight Loss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Our Lady of Weight Loss invites you to take her &#039;doormat quiz,&#039; and determine whether you are super-empowered, strong enough, somewhat stable, or the &quot;biggest namby-pamby ever!&quot;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Our Lady of Weight Loss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-08-07T07:41:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/files\/import\/ART%20NOT%20a%20doormat.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Janice Taylor, Editor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Are fat people doormats? - Our Lady of Weight Loss","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Are fat people doormats? - Our Lady of Weight Loss","og_description":"Our Lady of Weight Loss invites you to take her 'doormat quiz,' and determine whether you are super-empowered, strong enough, somewhat stable, or the \"biggest namby-pamby ever!\"","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html","og_site_name":"Our Lady of Weight Loss","article_published_time":"2009-08-07T07:41:39+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/files\/import\/ART%20NOT%20a%20doormat.jpg"}],"author":"Janice Taylor, Editor","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html","name":"Are fat people doormats? - Our Lady of Weight Loss","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/files\/import\/ART%20NOT%20a%20doormat.jpg","datePublished":"2009-08-07T07:41:39+00:00","dateModified":"2009-08-07T07:41:39+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#\/schema\/person\/dc42b945b8badcadcbe5a3fc4cc5aac5"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/files\/import\/ART%20NOT%20a%20doormat.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/files\/import\/ART%20NOT%20a%20doormat.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2009\/08\/are-fat-people-doormats.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Are fat people doormats?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/","name":"Our Lady of Weight Loss","description":"Weight Loss, Diet, Exercise, Health and Wellness Advice","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#\/schema\/person\/dc42b945b8badcadcbe5a3fc4cc5aac5","name":"Janice Taylor, Editor","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/484\/4844b9725e31d98e40565d31193668e2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/484\/4844b9725e31d98e40565d31193668e2x96.jpg","caption":"Janice Taylor, Editor"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.ourladyofweightloss.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/author\/jtaylor"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/500","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/123"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=500"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/500\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}