{"id":3091,"date":"2011-12-13T08:59:27","date_gmt":"2011-12-13T13:59:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/?p=3091"},"modified":"2011-12-13T08:59:27","modified_gmt":"2011-12-13T13:59:27","slug":"kick-in-the-tush-tuesday-holiday-grief-4-steps-to-faith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2011\/12\/kick-in-the-tush-tuesday-holiday-grief-4-steps-to-faith.html","title":{"rendered":"Kick in the Tush Tuesday – Holiday Grief: 4 Steps to Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Greetings and Salutations Tushkateers!!!
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

How’s it going?\u00a0 Have you lost your Holiday Mind<\/em> yet?\u00a0<\/strong> This past weekend, the ‘kids’ came for a visit (they’re like soooo old, they’re hardly kids, but they’re my kids, so they will forever be ‘the kids’)<\/em>, and we had the best time leafing through catalogs, circling items, bending pages, picking out gifts for each other and ourselves for the holidays.<\/p>\n

We set limits (dollar amount per person)<\/em>.\u00a0 But somehow or another, it was all too seductive (oh – those glossy pages – you gotta’ love ’em)<\/em> and the original dollar amount went flying out the window.<\/p>\n

With each “Ohhhh, Look at this.\u00a0 I love it.”<\/em> I glanced a ‘what do you think’<\/em> look toward my husband, the sensible one – half hoping he’d cave in, too \/ half hoping he’d snap us out of it – to which he replied through his twinkly, smiling eyes, “Oh, let’s.”<\/p>\n

In many ways, it reminded me of out-of-control<\/em> eating.\u00a0 First, we set an amount, and then the neurons in our brains went wild.\u00a0 (Those shiny objects get me every time!)<\/em>\u00a0 And then, I sought permission to go off the ‘money diet,’ and found it easily and effortlessly in my husband’s eyes.\u00a0 There was equal pull in two polar opposite directions – spend\/don’t spend – just like the polar opposite – eat\/don’t eat … AND, I have to admit, there was the “I deserve” it element in it.\u00a0 It was a rough week.<\/p>\n

Once I got hip to the “I deserve” it element in the mix, I regrouped and reminded myself that once the AmExp bill arrives (post holidays, after the glitter fades),<\/em> I’d feel like I do when the scales of injustice rise to unhappy heights, which we all know is NOT a good place; not the aspired place to be.<\/p>\n

What to do?<\/em><\/strong> Readjust for the holidays. <\/strong><\/em>Maybe the original dollar amount was too difficult an amount to hold to.\u00a0 (Akin to crash dieting, miracle diets, et al. – Just not going to happen; not realistic.)<\/em>\u00a0 So, we are having a group ho-down tonight to revise the amount.\u00a0 Bring it to a realistic holiday amount that feels okay.<\/p>\n

“I Deserve:”<\/em><\/strong> The “I Deserve” it theme runs deep in our ‘food’ lives.\u00a0 Doesn’t it?\u00a0 I hear it often! The question to ask is, “What do we really deserve?”<\/p>\n

I’d like to share an email to OLofWL from Tushkateer Bev now that underscores the “I deserve” mentality and more …<\/p>\n

Dear OLofWL ~<\/strong><\/em> Two years ago, I suffered a terrible loss.\u00a0 My daughter died.\u00a0 I dealt with it to a large degree by eating, which I know is what many people do.\u00a0 It is a reasonable response.\u00a0 I felt like I deserved to at least sooth myself through food.\u00a0 And that was okay – THEN – but now, two years have past, and while I realize that I will never be who I was before this horrific accident, I want to stop eating and at least lose the pounds I gained.\u00a0 The Grief Pounds,<\/em> I call them.<\/p>\n

I do not want to be ‘that person.’\u00a0 The person who could not recover; the person who stuffed down every sad emotion and as a result gained and gained and gained.<\/p>\n

I am a fan of OLofWL and the Kick in the Tush Club, and your life & weight loss coaching (I attended one of your workshops)<\/em>.\u00a0 I imagined that if we were at a workshop, you’d probably ask me to speak to ‘what I really deserve.’\u00a0 So I wrote a long list of things, which helped.\u00a0 I keep it posted to the refrigerator door.\u00a0 I deserve to love myself; I deserve love from others; my body deserves to be loved and healthy.\u00a0<\/em> I am working on this and I’m getting through this …<\/p>\n

But I am having difficult with the ‘faith’ aspect of all.\u00a0 I do not have complete faith in myself that I am up to ‘living’ without ‘stuffing the feelings,’ and well – let’s just say – that’s the tip of the iceberg on my feelings on faith.<\/p>\n

What words of wisdom do you have for me?\u00a0 I need a kick in the tush. Thanks for all.\u00a0 ~ Bev<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Bev ~<\/strong><\/em> On behalf of Our Lady of Weight Loss and all Tushkateers, I offer you our heartfelt sympathy.\u00a0 We are deeply sorry for your loss.\u00a0 You are a brave and honest soul.\u00a0 I admire your determination and desire to ‘move on’ as best you can, in a healthy and meaningful way.<\/p>\n

I pulled together (see below)<\/em> the best quotes I could find on faith, because I think they say it all.\u00a0 I hope that one resonates deeply!\u00a0 After reading them, I realized that you cannot live in faith and fear simultaneously.<\/p>\n

In addition, here are a few steps toward faith:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Faith vs. Fear<\/strong>:\u00a0 Recognize that faith is instinctual and that fear is learned.\u00a0 Instinctual trumps learned.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Journal Fear:\u00a0<\/strong> Journaling about your fear, putting it on the page, can help you move through it.\u00a0 Not over it, not around it, but through it.\u00a0 Put in on the page and leave it on the page.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Make a Conscious Choice:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ultimately, even in the face of tragedy, we need to make a conscious choice between fear and faith.\u00a0 Choose faith … and then<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Live In Faith:\u00a0<\/strong> For a moment, you can begin to think about how life would be different if you lived in faith. Complete this sentence:\u00a0 “If I lived in faith, I would be able to _________________.”<\/p>\n

I hope that helps, Bev.\u00a0 Please feel free to write again, or call, or set up a time to talk.\u00a0 Whatever you need.\u00a0 I am here for you, as is OLofWL (and Tushkateers throughout the land).<\/p>\n

Spread the word … NOT the icing!
\nJanic<\/em>e<\/p>\n

PS:\u00a0 As many of you know, mom (95 years young) took a nasty fall last week, fractured her elbow and is in rehab.\u00a0 Many thanks to those who wrote me.\u00a0 Your thoughts, prayers and support are greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n

I feel strongly that there is ‘suffering’ and then there is ‘optional suffering.’\u00a0 It is natural to feel awful, to cry, to be concerned, to circle the wagons. And then there is the ‘optional suffering’ – the kind of suffering that doesn’t allow you to see the golden moments even in the face of illness; the kind of suffering that puts a halt to life.<\/p>\n

We have decided (made the choice) to live in faith, and fully appreciate the humorous and interesting moments that surface, for those moments are plentiful.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And so … I’d like to share what I think interesting!\u00a0 When asked her age, my mother is not quite able to pull the number up; BUT she knows the year she was born (1916) and she knows that it is 2011, so she uses her finger to do the math in the air and comes up with the right answer.\u00a0 The long route, hey?!\u00a0 But nevertheless, she gets to it.<\/p>\n

FAITH\u00a0 Quotes<\/strong><\/div>\n
\n

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. ~ Khalil Gibran<\/strong><\/p>\n

You cannot have faith when fear is present. ~ Janice Taylor <\/strong><\/p>\n

Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into. ~ Mohandas Gandhi<\/strong><\/p>\n

Love, hope, fear, faith – these make humanity; These are its sign and note and character. ~ Robert Browning Hamilton<\/strong><\/p>\n

That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God. ~ Albert Einstein<\/strong><\/p>\n

All who call on God in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired. ~ Martin Luther<\/strong><\/p>\n

As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. ~ Emmanuel Teney<\/strong><\/p>\n

Faith and doubt both are needed – not as antagonists, but working side by side to take us around the unknown curve. ~ Lillian Smith<\/strong><\/p>\n

Faith and prayer are the vitamins of the soul; man cannot live in health without them. ~ Mahalia Jackson<\/strong><\/p>\n

Spread the word \u2026 NOT the icing!
\nJanice<\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014
\nFor the best in wellness and weight loss wisdom, visit Janice:
\nOur Lady of Weight Loss<\/a>
\njoin the\u00a0Kick in the Tush Club<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Become a Tushkateer!
\nTushkateer*<\/a><\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 A Tushkateer is a person who receives Our Lady of Weight Loss\u2019s newsletter, called the KICK in the TUSH CLUB!!!\u00a0 Sign up and receive her weekly e-newsletter<\/a> with all the news that \u2018fit\u2019 to print, and you are automatically a Tushkateer!\u00a0 How cool is that? \":)\"<\/p>\n

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Need a Weight Loss Success Coach<\/a>?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Greetings and Salutations Tushkateers!!! How’s it going?\u00a0 Have you lost your Holiday Mind yet?\u00a0 This past weekend, the ‘kids’ came for a visit (they’re like soooo old, they’re hardly kids, but they’re my kids, so they will forever be ‘the kids’), and we had the best time leafing through catalogs, circling items, bending pages, picking…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":123,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,249,2,70,82,60,1659,1207,1488,1,19,349,2100,369],"tags":[3836,2621,2620,2618,671,3818,3826,3827,3825,2619,248],"class_list":["post-3091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diet","category-diet-tips","category-inspiration","category-janice-taylor","category-kick-in-the-tush-club","category-our-lady-of-weight-loss","category-quotes","category-spiritual-weight-loss-2","category-the-holiday-diet","category-weight-loss","category-weight-loss-art","category-weight-loss-motivation","category-weight-loss-success-coach","category-weight-loss-tips-2","tag-diet-tips","tag-elder-care","tag-faith-in-illness","tag-holiday-grief","tag-how-to-lose-weight","tag-inspiration","tag-janice-taylor","tag-kick-in-the-tush-club","tag-our-lady-of-weight-loss","tag-steps-to-faith","tag-weight-loss-tips"],"yoast_head":"\nKick in the Tush Tuesday - Holiday Grief: 4 Steps to Faith - Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2011\/12\/kick-in-the-tush-tuesday-holiday-grief-4-steps-to-faith.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kick in the Tush Tuesday - Holiday Grief: 4 Steps to Faith - Our Lady of Weight Loss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Greetings and Salutations Tushkateers!!! How’s it going?\u00a0 Have you lost your Holiday Mind yet?\u00a0 This past weekend, the ‘kids’ came for a visit (they’re like soooo old, they’re hardly kids, but they’re my kids, so they will forever be ‘the kids’), and we had the best time leafing through catalogs, circling items, bending pages, picking…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2011\/12\/kick-in-the-tush-tuesday-holiday-grief-4-steps-to-faith.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Our Lady of Weight Loss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-12-13T13:59:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/files\/2011\/12\/love-thyself2.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Janice Taylor, Editor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Kick in the Tush Tuesday - Holiday Grief: 4 Steps to Faith - Our Lady of Weight Loss","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2011\/12\/kick-in-the-tush-tuesday-holiday-grief-4-steps-to-faith.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Kick in the Tush Tuesday - Holiday Grief: 4 Steps to Faith - Our Lady of Weight Loss","og_description":"Greetings and Salutations Tushkateers!!! 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