{"id":209,"date":"2008-09-29T08:34:01","date_gmt":"2008-09-29T08:34:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/ourladyofweightloss\/2008\/09\/relationship-rescue-sharing-st.html"},"modified":"2008-09-29T08:34:01","modified_gmt":"2008-09-29T08:34:01","slug":"relationship-rescue-sharing-st","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2008\/09\/relationship-rescue-sharing-st.html","title":{"rendered":"Relationship Rescue: Sharing Stress with Your Loved One"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sharing Stress with Your Main Squeeze<\/strong><\/big> by Janice Taylor<\/a>, Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. Hypnotist, NLP Practitioner, Author, Seminar Leader and 50-Pound Big-Time-Loser! (write Janice<\/a> for a Free Consult!)
\nYou are stressed to your last nerve.<\/big><\/strong> Things are piling up at the job. Things at home are out of control. And the weather is dark, grey and rainy.
\nYou REALLY <\/strong><\/big>need to talk, let it out (lest you devour a jumbo one pound candy bar and at 170 calories per ounce that’s 2720 calories; two days’ calorie allotment)<\/em> and in walks your main squeeze.
\nHow much stress is appropriate to share<\/strong><\/big> with your spouse, partner, significant other … your main squeeze? What’s the difference between sharing and dumping?
\nTrue, you need to vent and an important part of a relationship revolves around sharing your life, letting the other person know what’s going on, as well as asking for support; giving support. Leaning on each other … all important parts of a relationship.
\nNevertheless, before you dump<\/strong><\/big> – ‘talk at’<\/strong><\/big> the other person, here follows a few truly helpful and useful guidelines:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Ask Permission:<\/strong><\/big> “Is this a good time to listen? I need to share the gruesome details of my crazy day.” If the answer is “NO!” Respect that No! Ask, “Please let me know when it is a good time. <\/li>\n
  2. Timing<\/strong>: Before you launch into your bucket list of upset, frazzled nerves and complaints (all justified, of course)<\/em>, do check in with your main squeeze to see if he or she is equally stressed. <\/li>\n
  3. Be Clear: <\/strong> Are you sharing, looking for feedback, or just need a place to be heard. If all you want is to be heard. Start the conversation off with “Please, do not respond. Just listen<\/strong> -intently! I need you to be with me. That’s all.”<\/li>\n
  4. Time Yourself: <\/strong> Vent, talk, share … dump … whatever you want to call it for a maximum of one minute and then check in and see if the person is still with you. Really 30 seconds would be better. Don’t take advantage of the ‘sharee.’<\/li>\n
  5. Responsibility:<\/strong> Ultimately, it is your stress. Support is GREAT! But no one can singularly ‘fix it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    ‘
    \nSpecial Note:<\/strong> For further insight into the machinations of relationships, I checked in with     Peter Weinstein, LCSW, Psychotherapist, Relationship Expert.<\/a>
    \nMr. Weinstein adds, “Being sensitive to your partner’s needs is one of the most important components of a successful relationship. Just as YOU want respect and appreciation, so does your partner\/spouse. Putting yourself in the ‘others’ shoes and considering his\/her needs (without sacrificing your own need) is true empathy and the cornerstone of relational\/marital bliss.
    \n“Janice gives great advice on how to orchestrate getting help and attention from your ‘main squeeze’ in a particularly stressful situation. Nicely done.”<\/em>
    \nSpread the word, NOT the icing!
    \nJanice<\/em>
    \nWrite     Janice<\/a> for free ‘life’ consult!
    \nFollow Janice     on Twitter<\/a><\/strong>! Food facts. tips and motivation throughout the day!
    \n    Workshops<\/strong><\/a>! Come, play with me!
    \nFree Our Lady of Weight Loss     E-Cards<\/strong><\/a><\/strong>! Spread the FUN word!
    \nFor more motivation and inspiration, join the     Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.<\/strong> <\/strong> <\/a>
    \nPick up a copy of Janice’s latest:     All Is Forgiven, Move ON ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss’s 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville<\/strong><\/a>!
    \n” . . . . kooky genius<\/strong><\/big> ~ see if her idiosyncratic diet plan will work for you.” ~ O, The Oprah Magazine<\/em>
    \n    \"ART<\/span> <\/a> about Janice<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Sharing Stress with Your Main Squeeze by Janice Taylor, Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. Hypnotist, NLP Practitioner, Author, Seminar Leader and 50-Pound Big-Time-Loser! (write Janice for a Free Consult!) You are stressed to your last nerve. Things are piling up at the job. Things at home are out of control. And the weather is dark,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":123,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[156,177,2,582,369],"tags":[3820,3823,160,3826,3827,585,555,3825,583,584,3835,248,208,163],"class_list":["post-209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotional-eating","category-healthy-living","category-inspiration","category-relationship-rescue","category-weight-loss-tips-2","tag-happiness","tag-health","tag-healthy-lifestyle","tag-janice-taylor","tag-kick-in-the-tush-club","tag-life-style-tips","tag-living","tag-our-lady-of-weight-loss","tag-relationship-advice","tag-sharing","tag-stress","tag-weight-loss-tips","tag-well-being","tag-wellness"],"yoast_head":"\nRelationship Rescue: Sharing Stress with Your Loved One - Our Lady of Weight Loss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ourladyofweightloss\/2008\/09\/relationship-rescue-sharing-st.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Relationship Rescue: Sharing Stress with Your Loved One - Our Lady of Weight Loss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sharing Stress with Your Main Squeeze by Janice Taylor, Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. 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