{"id":375,"date":"2013-05-08T16:50:07","date_gmt":"2013-05-08T16:50:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/onfire\/?p=375"},"modified":"2013-05-08T17:07:13","modified_gmt":"2013-05-08T17:07:13","slug":"battling-ego-finding-beauty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onfire\/2013\/05\/08\/battling-ego-finding-beauty\/","title":{"rendered":"Battling Ego. Finding Beauty."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"My<\/a>
My Gift<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Every person has been created by God with a Gift <\/a>to give for the bettering of mankind.<\/b> This message\u2014along with writing and teaching\u2014is my<\/i> Gift.<\/p>\n

This morning, upon waking, I pull my laptop onto the bed and open it to compose a blog post. As ideas come, an enemy also appears.<\/p>\n

Will my writing be as smart as Don Miller\u2019s?<\/a> Will it look cool technically like Michael Hyatt\u2019s?<\/a> Are my ideas as insightful as Leo Babautas\u2019 <\/a>are?<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0Will my words make money?<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0How will my blog post be received? Will it get a lot of views?<\/i><\/p>\n

My ego.\u00a0 It\u2019s out to keep me \u201csafe\u201d and enhance my reputation.<\/p>\n

I know I need my ego for certain things\u2014paying taxes, obeying traffic regulations, and remembering to take my blood pressure medication. It dresses me in the morning.<\/p>\n

My ego is all about me.<\/p>\n

What frightens me is the knowledge that I have lived entire decades with my ego firmly in charge, at the wheel, running my life. No questions asked.<\/p>\n

Precious little of my Gift leaked out during those years. My Gift is just that\u2014something given to me to pass on to others. Being all about me<\/i>, my ego thwarts giving.<\/p>\n

Now I realize that if I live from my ego, I\u2019ll die with regret. My life will seem futile!<\/b><\/p>\n

Creatives, artists and mystics rescue me\u2014a modern, commerce-loving, internet-surfing woman\u2014from myself. I fish a book I\u2019ve been reading out of the covers:<\/p>\n

We nourish the spirit by disbursing our gifts, not by capitalizing upon them\u2026The artist who is nourishing\u2026is not self-aggrandizing, self-assertive, or self-conscious, he is, rather, self-squandering, self-abnegating, self-forgetful\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/i>— Lewis Hyde in The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0Self-forgetfulness. To create space in my life for my Gift and the giving of it, I must forget myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Instead, I must seek to be infused by God and yield myself to be His instrument.<\/p>\n

I direct my thoughts: \u201cOh God, thank you for my life and Gift. I am yours. Flow through me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2026and return to the keyboard.<\/p>\n

I finish and publish this blog post.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no feeling like it in the whole wide world. It\u2019s beauty and peace and strength all wrapped into one. To know that, just for a few minutes,<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been an instrument<\/p>\n

\u2026not an image.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every person has been created by God with a Gift to give for the bettering of mankind. This message\u2014along with writing and teaching\u2014is my Gift. This morning, upon waking, I pull my laptop onto the bed and open it to compose a blog post. As ideas come, an enemy also appears. Will my writing be…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":493,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,15,14],"tags":[255,248,195,247,250,30,254,6,252,249,251,253,246],"class_list":["post-375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-calling","category-conflict-obstacles","category-creativity","tag-an-instrument","tag-artist","tag-core-gift","tag-creative","tag-donald-miller","tag-ego","tag-futility-of-life","tag-gift","tag-leo-babauta","tag-lewis-hyde","tag-michael-hyatt","tag-regret","tag-self-forgetfulness"],"yoast_head":"\nBattling Ego. 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