{"id":914,"date":"2009-11-11T12:34:43","date_gmt":"2009-11-11T12:34:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/onecity\/2009\/11\/the-power-of-coincidence.html"},"modified":"2009-11-11T12:34:43","modified_gmt":"2009-11-11T12:34:43","slug":"the-power-of-coincidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/11\/the-power-of-coincidence.html","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Coincidence"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Jerry Kolber, special to the Herald, author: Three Dollar Dinner<\/a><\/i><\/p>\n

Over the past few weeks I have been incredibly aware of co-incidents.  The power of coincidence seems to be playing a large role in my life and I am wondering if this is related to karma, or cause-effect, or intentionality. This may or may not have anything to do with Buddhism and I leave it those far more deeply versed in the non-basic teachings than I to weigh in, but I do feel compelled to share some of my thoughts on coincidence.<\/p>\n


\n
For example, at the IDP Meditaton Marathon, one of the first songs to
\ncome on when ABC opened for business was I Love the Nightlife, as
\nhilariously documented by in a post by Ellen Scordato<\/a>.
\n24 hours and several plane rides later, a friend in Berlin had taken us
\nto a club, and on came the song I Love the Nightlife.  I do not hear
\nthis song much, and it seemed to make a strange line from NYC to the
\ncity I found myself in. The club was also exactly the one place IDP
\nassociate director Patrick Groneman had mentioned to me by name and
\ntold me to avoid, though it turned out to be a lot of fun.<\/p>\n

Another recent example: My boyfriend Brian bought me an amazing bronze
\ncast of a bird skull for my birthday, and he got himself a matching one too.
\nThey are made by his friend Blue in New York.  Brian has been working a
\nlot in London, and met a new friend named Luka one night randomly in the UK
\nbecause Luka also had a piece of Blue’s jewelry.  Coincidence enough,
\nbut on his way out of London his weekend another friend told Brian she was
\nlooking forward to a date this week, because the guy had the same
\nname as she gave her stuffed animals as a litle girl. The guys (and
\ndolls) name? Luka Blue.  <\/p>\n

Smaller coincidences abound at work and in life, and they have been
\nquite intense as of late. Is it any less of a coincidence that you go
\ninto a store and discover a new photographer who inspires you in a new
\ncreative directon?  You go looking for the perfect house to buy or rent
\nand eventually you find it – without having to look at every house in
\nthe neighborhood (You just know it is the right one).  Out of billions
\nof people on earth you meet the friends and lovers who fit your life
\nperfectly and you theirs, and offer each other exactly the life lessons
\nyou need at that moment in time.  <\/p>\n

It is beginning to seem to me that being aware of coincidence is no
\ndifferent than having present moment Buddhist style awareness. Every
\nmoment of our lives is a co-incident – i.e. several incidents happening
\nat once.  That is at least one reasonably passable definition of
\nreality. So why do we seperate out certain co-incidences and say “What
\na coincidence!”?  Why do some moments, which are really no more or less
\nspecial than any other moment, shock us awake with what we perceive as
\nsome hidden message?<\/p>\n

I propose that it is because of two forces at work. Number one, and
\ncall me new-Agey if you must, but I do think that at certain more
\ndepthful turning points, if we are open to it the universe will send us
\nsignals that we are on the right or wrong path. Whether we are
\nunconsciously sending out a beacon saying “I am lost, please send a
\nsign” and are thus in a sense looking for coincidences, or if there is
\nsomething even more mysterious at work, does not matter. I know I am
\nnot the only one who has experienced this level of what feels like
\nstrang signposts on the liferoad. <\/p>\n

The other force I think is at work behind what we perceive as special
\ncoincidences is that at some times in our lives we are more focused on
\ndeeper questions than at other times.  It is inevitable that if you are
\nfocused on a question you are more likely to find an answer.  And the
\nquieter your mind is, the more likely you are to hear the answer when
\nit comes, so it is no coincidence that the more I am disciplined about
\nmy meditation practice the more likely I am to be present to notice
\ncoincidences, and the more likely I am to attach meaning to them.  <\/p>\n

Thinking about this just makes me want to pay even more attention all
\nthe time, especially in the moments that don’t necessarily register as
\na big “coincidence”.  How often do I find just the right book, person,
\nor article with the right story or idea for exactly where I am in my
\nlife?  Am I having these experiences or are they having me? Either way,
\nI do not live in a universe where I can rewind and try different
\noptions, so the experience I have is the only one I CAN have – there is
\nnot some alternate universe in which what we call a coincidence can
\nun-happen as a result of some other choice we make.<\/p>\n

Put another way, the next time you are walking down the street and
\nhappen to run into someone you know and they say “What are the chances
\nof running into each other?”, the only logical answer given the deeply
\nthick and non-optional nature of time and the universe is “One hundred
\npercent!”<\/p>\n

The only question really worth answering – if you want to get at the
\ntruth of what is happening and what this experience has to offer (and
\nevery experience has something to offer)  – is Why?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Jerry Kolber, special to the Herald, author: Three Dollar Dinner Over the past few weeks I have been incredibly aware of co-incidents.  The power of coincidence seems to be playing a large role in my life and I am wondering if this is related to karma, or cause-effect, or intentionality. This may or may…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":191,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-meditation"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Power of Coincidence - One City<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/11\/the-power-of-coincidence.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Power of Coincidence - One City\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"by Jerry Kolber, special to the Herald, author: Three Dollar Dinner Over the past few weeks I have been incredibly aware of co-incidents.  The power of coincidence seems to be playing a large role in my life and I am wondering if this is related to karma, or cause-effect, or intentionality. 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