{"id":685,"date":"2009-07-03T15:26:25","date_gmt":"2009-07-03T15:26:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/onecity\/2009\/07\/would-sid-ever-bartend-buddhism-bars-and-depression.html"},"modified":"2009-07-03T15:26:25","modified_gmt":"2009-07-03T15:26:25","slug":"would-sid-ever-bartend-buddhism-bars-and-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/07\/would-sid-ever-bartend-buddhism-bars-and-depression.html","title":{"rendered":"Would Sid ever bartend? Buddhism, bars, and depression"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"friends.jpg\"<\/span>
Not only would Sid bartend but he would also play in fountains with umbrellas<\/p>\n

What would Sid do?<\/b>
Before Siddhartha Gautama attained enlightenment at age 35 he was a
\nconfused twenty and thirty-something looking to learn how to live a
\nspiritual life. He had an overbearing dad, expectations for what he was
\nsupposed to do<\/span>
\nwith his life, drinks were flowing, lutes were playing, and the
\nwomen were all about him. Some called him L.L. Cool S. I imagine
\nclose friends just referred to him as Sid. <\/p>\n

Many people look to Siddhartha as an example of someone who attained nirvana, a buddha. But here we look at a younger Sid<\/span>
\nas a confused guy struggling with his daily life. What would he do as a
\nyoung person trying to find love, cheap drinks, and fun in a city like
\nNew York<\/a>? We all make mistakes on our spiritual journey; here is where
\nthey’re discussed.<\/p>\n

Each week I’ll take on a new question and
\ngive some advice based on what I think Sid, a confused guy working on
\nhis spiritual life in a world of major distraction, would do. Because
\nlet’s face it, you and I are Sid. <\/p>\n

Have a question for this weekly column? E-mail it here<\/a> and I’ll probably get to it!
<\/i><\/b>
—————————————————————————————————————————————
Q: I’m a bartender and I feel like when I work all I’m doing is feeding
\ndepressed or lonely people drinks. It brings me down too. Would Sid
\never be a bartender? <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n


\n
When Sid became a buddha he laid out the eightfold path to enlightenment<\/a>
\nwhich included Right Livelihood. In brief it refers to being employed
\nin a legal and peaceful way. What “peaceful” is may be up to our
\ninterpretation. However, if we wanted to get specific there are five
\ntraditional aspects to Right Livelihood:<\/p>\n

1) you can’t deal in living beings, i.e. prostitution, raising animals for slaughter, slavery, etc
2) you can’t make money selling weapons. I’m not sure if this includes nun-chucks but hopefully not because those are awesome.
3) you can’t make money selling poison
4) or intoxicants
5) or meat<\/p>\n

Wait
\na minute! You can’t make money off of selling meat? So if we want to be
\nstrict here not only can you not be an exterminator or bartender or
\nbutcher but you can’t even work in a deli. I personally take offense as
\nmy ancestors were butchers: the “rinz” in “Rinzler” apparently is a
\nword for “butcher” in the old country. And yes, if you put that
\ntogether with my Tibetan first name it does mean “Butcher of
\nIntellect.” <\/p>\n

Anyway the point I’m trying to make is that we can
\nget pretty carried away with what we should or should not do for a
\nliving. Not only can you not work in a deli but some
\nstories of the Buddha imply you can’t even be an actor or you will be reborn in the hell of
\nlaughter realm<\/a>. Which, incidentally, I interpret as the live studio audience for Friends<\/i>. <\/p>\n

The
\nbottom line as I understand it is that Right Livelihood means that we
\ndo not cause harm to others or ourselves. On one hand, yes, if you’re
\nbummed out at work then it’s probably not for you. Go find work that
\nyou find meaningful. On the other hand, bartending itself is not a
\nproblem in my mind, assuming you are encouraging Right Drinking
\n(copyright!). <\/p>\n

To answer your question I’d like to say yes. I
\nthink if Sid were here with us he might have
\nmoved out of his dad’s palace and would be couch-surfing until he
\nlanded a
\njob to pay for what can at times be a pretty expensive spiritual path.
\nIf offered a bartending gig I think he would accept and make the most
\nof it. Here’s how:<\/p>\n

1)
\nDon’t aim to sell the most liquor to get the most tips. People tip when
\nthey feel respected and enjoy the bartender’s company. Serve what is
\nreasonable and, I believe, it’s your prerogative\/responsibility to see
\nwhen someone has had too much to drink and cut them off. <\/p>\n

2)
\nNot everyone at a bar is depressed or lonely. Some people go out to
\ncelebrate. Others to catch up with friends. We can’t assume another
\nbeing’s motivation in general so be open to your customers and their
\nemotional states. Which brings us to the key point…<\/p>\n

3) Offer
\nyour heart to those patrons you encounter. You may see 100 different
\npeople in a night but you could consider it a practice to connect with
\nas many of them as possible in a genuine way.<\/p>\n

4) Part of that is
\nlistening. Really listening. It’s an old cliche that people will pour
\ntheir heart out to a bartender but if someone does that it’s such a
\nrare gift to be spacious and accommodating. And probably one that that
\nperson needs if they are talking to a stranger.<\/p>\n

We all have jobs
\nto which we could apply these principles of watchfulness,
\ninquisitiveness, being open-hearted, and listening fully. We also all
\nhave jobs that we may feel good about but have a negative effect
\nsomewhere, be it on the environment when we travel by plane or on
\nAmerica’s economy if our company outsources work overseas. I would love
\nto hear from someone who doesn’t have at least one aspect of their job
\nnegatively effect someone in some way.<\/p>\n

So yes, Sid might bartend
\nbut in a way that does not encourage harm. It’s tricky work as you’re
\nnever 100% sure how much someone has had to drink, where they are
\ncoming from, and so on. I fully acknowledge that. However, I would
\nprefer my bartender to be someone engaging the principles of
\nmindfulness and compassion, wouldn’t you? Part of the bodhisattva-warrior’s<\/a>
\nvow is to go where they are most needed. If you really are serving
\ndepressed and lonely people don’t they need to see some of that
\nmindfulness and compassion? <\/p>\n

I wish you lots of luck. Right
\nLivelihood means so many things to so many people; you need to figure
\nout what it means to you. But remember, it’s not exactly what you do
\nfor a living but what you do while you’re doing it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Not only would Sid bartend but he would also play in fountains with umbrellas What would Sid do?Before Siddhartha Gautama attained enlightenment at age 35 he was a confused twenty and thirty-something looking to learn how to live a spiritual life. He had an overbearing dad, expectations for what he was supposed to do with…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":342,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddhism","category-right-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"\nWould Sid ever bartend? 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Upon graduating he served for three and a half years as the executive director of the Shambhala Meditation Center of Boston and has led development efforts for Shambhala internationally since 2007. In addition to teaching dharma throughout the United States he chairs the Dana Group, a group formed to stimulate creative ways to promote generosity in Shambhala as well as coordinate all major fund-raising efforts. In addition to his weekly column here entitled \"What would Sid do?\" Lodro has a humorous blog \"New York is Ridiculous\" (newyorkisridiculous.com) which he writes from his apartment in Brooklyn, New York.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/author\/lodrorinzler"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/342"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=685"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}