{"id":627,"date":"2009-06-03T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-03T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/onecity\/2009\/06\/mindful-wedding-planning.html"},"modified":"2009-06-03T07:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-03T07:00:00","slug":"mindful-wedding-planning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/06\/mindful-wedding-planning.html","title":{"rendered":"Mindful wedding planning in thought and in reality"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Despite Christie Brinkley&#8217;s recent pessimistic advice where she stated, &#8220;Right at the beginning of a relationship, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nydailynews.com\/gossip\/2009\/05\/31\/2009-05-31_have_an_exit_strategy.html\">I would formalize an exit strategy<\/a>,&#8221; I am going to get married in 10 days on June 13, 2009. I am in the midst of wedding countdown insanity, with many little things that need to be taken care of. It is crazy to think I have been putting this event together for at least 9 months now. <\/p>\n<p><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"2601553166_2d29377d36.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/124\/import\/2601553166_2d29377d36.jpg\" class=\"mt-image-none\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><font>Photo courtesy of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/defrostca\/2601553166\/\">fotographix.ca<\/a><\/font><\/p>\n<p>Some of the hardest, but most rewarding, parts so far has been trying to make our wedding (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.thirdpath.org\/\">and our future marriage<\/a>) something that truly reflects our values. Being conscious of what we wanted instead of just mindlessly going along with tradition. If and when we chose to go with the classics (such as having maids of honor and best men), we did it intentionally. <\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\nWell, that was the plan anyway. I can say that the ideal and the<br \/>\nreality are not quite the same &#8211; some compromises have been made in<br \/>\norder to make people in our lives happy, due to the cost limitations<br \/>\nplaced on the event, or because we do not have any time or energy left<br \/>\nto find a different solution. We have just been making each decision the best that we can, trying not to hold onto our ideals too tightly (particularly when it causes a lot of unhappiness), but still drawing the line when something makes us uncomfortable or is really important to us. <\/p>\n<p>We used a great article on the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.simpleliving.org\/\">Alternatives for Simple Living<\/a> website called &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/simpleliving.startlogic.com\/indexoth.php?place=archives\/Wedding\/InnerValues.php\">What Matters for Your Wedding?<\/a>&#8221;<br \/>\nas a starting point to shape our wedding ceremony and celebration. As a<br \/>\ncouple, we decided what things were the highest priorities and shaped our<br \/>\nplans from there. <\/p>\n<p>We knew that if we were going to<br \/>\nhave a wedding (which takes a lot of time, resources, and energy) that<br \/>\nthe focus would be on sharing a wonderful weekend with the people we<br \/>\nlove &#8211; our family and friends &#8211; and having a good time, not on having<br \/>\nthings be picture perfect and extravagant (no ridiculous <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wetv.com\/platinum-weddings\/index.html\">Platinum Wedding<\/a><br \/>\nfor us). The most exciting part of this whole process (besides actually<br \/>\ngetting married to the person I love) is having most of our family and<br \/>\nfriends in one place at the same time &#8211; so many of whom have never met.<br \/>\nI hope it will truly be a joining of not only the two of us, but our two<br \/>\nfamilies and our different groups of friends (though in reality, in may not quite be that warm and fuzzy!). <\/p>\n<p>We also<br \/>\nparticularly have been making an effort to try to be more environmentally-friendly,<br \/>\nconscious of waste, and the overcommercialization of the whole wedding<br \/>\nprocess. When we cannot rent, borrow, or buy used, I try to<br \/>\nsupport local or small businesses. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.etsy.com\/\">Etsy.com<\/a> has been particularly helpful in this regard. <\/p>\n<p>I<br \/>\nam also very happy we are encouraging people to donate in our name to<br \/>\ncharities of our choice instead of giving us gifts. We set this up<br \/>\nthrough a great website\/organization called the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.idofoundation.org\/\">I Do Foundation<\/a>.<br \/>\nWe got some push back at the idea of having donation as the only option<br \/>\nbecause some of our guests really wanted to give us gifts. Thankfully,<br \/>\nthe website let us set up a registry through participating merchants<br \/>\nwhere a portion of the purchase goes to our charities. However, our<br \/>\nguests have to make sure to get the gift through the foundation&#8217;s<br \/>\nwebsite and there are only a limited number of merchants who are<br \/>\nparticipating. In the end, we tried to only put a limited number of<br \/>\nitems on the registry and pick out things that we need and will use<br \/>\n(and can actually fit in our apartment). <\/p>\n<p>Finally, while I am<br \/>\nnot usually a person for poetry, I have enjoyed the process of trying<br \/>\nto find readings for wedding that reflect our shared values&#8230; but I<br \/>\nwill save those for my post next week, as I will be spending most of my<br \/>\ntime enjoying the company of family and friends who I have not seen in<br \/>\na while.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Despite Christie Brinkley&#8217;s recent pessimistic advice where she stated, &#8220;Right at the beginning of a relationship, I would formalize an exit strategy,&#8221; I am going to get married in 10 days on June 13, 2009. I am in the midst of wedding countdown insanity, with many little things that need to be taken care of.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":186,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-right-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Mindful wedding planning in thought and in reality - One City<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/06\/mindful-wedding-planning.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mindful wedding planning in thought and in reality - One City\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Despite Christie Brinkley&#8217;s recent pessimistic advice where she stated, &#8220;Right at the beginning of a relationship, I would formalize an exit strategy,&#8221; I am going to get married in 10 days on June 13, 2009. I am in the midst of wedding countdown insanity, with many little things that need to be taken care of.&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/06\/mindful-wedding-planning.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"One City\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-06-03T07:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/onecity\/files\/import\/2601553166_2d29377d36.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kirsten Firminger\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Mindful wedding planning in thought and in reality - One City","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/06\/mindful-wedding-planning.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Mindful wedding planning in thought and in reality - One City","og_description":"Despite Christie Brinkley&#8217;s recent pessimistic advice where she stated, &#8220;Right at the beginning of a relationship, I would formalize an exit strategy,&#8221; I am going to get married in 10 days on June 13, 2009. 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