{"id":598,"date":"2009-05-22T13:41:11","date_gmt":"2009-05-22T13:41:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html"},"modified":"2009-05-22T13:41:11","modified_gmt":"2009-05-22T13:41:11","slug":"what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html","title":{"rendered":"What would Sid do? Waking up next to a stranger&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Before Siddhartha Gautama attained enlightenment at age 35 he was a<br \/>\nconfused twenty and thirty-something looking to learn how to live a<br \/>\nspiritual life. He had an overbearing dad, expectations for what he was<br \/>\nsupposed to <span class=\"il\">do<\/span> with his life, drinks were flowing, lutes were playing, and the ladiezzz were all about him. Some called him L.L. Cool S. I imagine close friends just referred to him as Sid. <\/p>\n<p>Many people look to Siddhartha as an example of someone who attained nirvana. But here we look at a younger <span class=\"il\">Sid<\/span> as a confused guy struggling with his daily life. What would he do as a young person trying to find love, cheap drinks, and fun in a city like New York? We all make mistakes on our spiritual journey; here is where they&#8217;re discussed.<\/p>\n<p>Each week I&#8217;ll take on a new question and give some advice based on what I think Sid, a confused guy working on his spiritual life in a world of major distraction, would do. Because let&#8217;s face it, you and I are Sid. <\/p>\n<p><b><i>Have a question for this weekly column? E-mail it <a href=\"mailto:lodrorinzler@gmail.com\">here<\/a> and I&#8217;ll probably get to it!<br \/><\/i><\/b><br \/>DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to be in touch with the Buddha. In fact, I don&#8217;t think I even know anyone named Sid.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>Q: I woke up the other day with a wicked hangover and there was a girl lying next to me. I couldn&#8217;t even remember her name! What would Sid do?<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\nA:<br \/>\nThis is a problem I wouldn&#8217;t wish on anyone. It&#8217;s something of a worse<br \/>\ncase scenario for someone like Sid in that you may have been going<br \/>\nabout your life, thinking you were all mindful and in touch with<br \/>\nyourself and then after one too many drinks BAM you wake up with<a href=\"http:\/\/icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com\/2008\/07\/funny-pictures-why-dont-you-like-breakfast-in-bed.jpg\"> something mysterious in your bed<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>In<br \/>\nfuture posts we can get into things like mindful drinking, the merits<br \/>\nof meeting someone at a bar, or even one-night stands. For now let&#8217;s<br \/>\nfocus on the problem at hand.&nbsp; <\/p>\n<p>The first thing to do would be<br \/>\nto take a deep breath and connect with how you&#8217;re feeling, both<br \/>\nphysically and emotionally. Even in a hungover state it&#8217;s good to check<br \/>\nin with yourself and allow a gap in your experience before you put your<br \/>\nfoot in your mouth. In other words, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=5yNaHQZrZ90\">don&#8217;t freak out<\/a>. And don&#8217;t sneak out.<\/p>\n<p>So<br \/>\nmuch of what we attempt to cultivate on the meditation cushion is being<br \/>\npresent with our experience. We are learning to stay with whatever<br \/>\narises. So in some sense this could be a very valuable opportunity for<br \/>\nyour practice. You physically should stay with this situation and be<br \/>\npresent with whatever emotional states come up. No matter how hard that<br \/>\nseems.<\/p>\n<p>Probably the best thing to do is to be straight-forward<br \/>\nwith your new bed mate. You don&#8217;t have to be insulting but you can let<br \/>\nthem know that you had way too much to drink the other night and can&#8217;t<br \/>\nremember everything that happened. Try to have a sense of humor about<br \/>\nit. Maybe she can fill you in on some of the blanks? <\/p>\n<p>90% of<br \/>\nthe time when you say you were super drunk to someone you were out with<br \/>\nthe previous night they will immediately scrunch up their face and say,<br \/>\n&#8220;I know. Me too.&#8221; Ideally that can be a bonding experience and you can<br \/>\nhash out from your morning as to whether or not you have any real<br \/>\nconnection to this person you have encountered stealing your covers. <\/p>\n<p>Just<br \/>\nbecause you met under not-so-romantic circumstances doesn&#8217;t mean it<br \/>\ncan&#8217;t be a genuine romance. Or, if nothing else, a new friend? Maybe<br \/>\nI&#8217;m shooting the moon with that one. If nothing else be polite. And<br \/>\nremember this guy&#8217;s maxim, &#8220;Brunch heals all wounds.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Before Siddhartha Gautama attained enlightenment at age 35 he was a confused twenty and thirty-something looking to learn how to live a spiritual life. He had an overbearing dad, expectations for what he was supposed to do with his life, drinks were flowing, lutes were playing, and the ladiezzz were all about him. Some called&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":342,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-598","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddhism","category-right-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What would Sid do? Waking up next to a stranger... - One City<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What would Sid do? Waking up next to a stranger... - One City\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Before Siddhartha Gautama attained enlightenment at age 35 he was a confused twenty and thirty-something looking to learn how to live a spiritual life. He had an overbearing dad, expectations for what he was supposed to do with his life, drinks were flowing, lutes were playing, and the ladiezzz were all about him. Some called&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"One City\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-05-22T13:41:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Lodro Rinzler\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What would Sid do? Waking up next to a stranger... - One City","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What would Sid do? Waking up next to a stranger... - One City","og_description":"Before Siddhartha Gautama attained enlightenment at age 35 he was a confused twenty and thirty-something looking to learn how to live a spiritual life. He had an overbearing dad, expectations for what he was supposed to do with his life, drinks were flowing, lutes were playing, and the ladiezzz were all about him. Some called&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html","og_site_name":"One City","article_published_time":"2009-05-22T13:41:11+00:00","author":"Lodro Rinzler","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/2009\/05\/what-would-sid-do-waking-up-next-to-a-stranger.html","name":"What would Sid do? 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Waking up next to a stranger&#8230;"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/","name":"One City","description":"The Interdependence Project","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/#\/schema\/person\/633f6aa39abead3c11386f5fb2f7cf90","name":"Lodro Rinzler","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/929\/929a2e82a5f0045bf32c3ee1c0038f8fx96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/929\/929a2e82a5f0045bf32c3ee1c0038f8fx96.jpg","caption":"Lodro Rinzler"},"description":"A long-time student of Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, Lodro founded a Buddhist House at Wesleyan University during his college years. Upon graduating he served for three and a half years as the executive director of the Shambhala Meditation Center of Boston and has led development efforts for Shambhala internationally since 2007. In addition to teaching dharma throughout the United States he chairs the Dana Group, a group formed to stimulate creative ways to promote generosity in Shambhala as well as coordinate all major fund-raising efforts. In addition to his weekly column here entitled \"What would Sid do?\" Lodro has a humorous blog \"New York is Ridiculous\" (newyorkisridiculous.com) which he writes from his apartment in Brooklyn, New York.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/author\/lodrorinzler"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/598","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/342"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=598"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/598\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=598"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=598"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/onecity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=598"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}