{"id":599,"date":"2010-09-15T06:21:03","date_gmt":"2010-09-15T06:21:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/09\/letters-when-faith-seems-impossible.html"},"modified":"2010-09-15T06:21:03","modified_gmt":"2010-09-15T06:21:03","slug":"letters-when-faith-seems-impossible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/09\/letters-when-faith-seems-impossible.html","title":{"rendered":"Letters: When Faith Seems Impossible"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since O Me of Little Faith<\/i><\/a> released<\/b> in April, I’ve been getting emails and Facebook<\/a> messages from readers along the whole continuum of the doubt spectrum, from new believers doubting God’s love for them to long-time believers doubting God’s existence. Occasionally I’ll get one that’s really heartbreaking.<\/p>\n

I try to answer each of these to the best of my ability, but there are times when my own meager advice hardly seems sufficient. Here’s an email I received a few days ago. I’m publishing it with any identifying details removed and with the permission of the sender.<\/p>\n

Hello Mr. Boyett,<\/p>\n

My name is __________, and I’m currently working on a
\ndegree at [a well-known conservative seminary]. The problem
\nis that my belief in God no longer seems to function in any harmonious
\nway with my experience of reality. I don’t see history being guided
\nadeptly to some glorious end, but rather a reality that is splintered,
\nfragmented, messy, etc. I don’t feel as if I ever encounter or
\nexperience or hear from God in any way. My constant prayers of
\ndesperation and need are met only with external silence and the voice in
\nmy own head. It’s become virtually impossible for me to read the Bible
\ndevotionally. I’m well aware of its “humanness”…however it’s the
\ndivine part that seems so elusive. It’s becoming harder and harder to
\nbelieve in the miraculous when nothing in my experience tells me that
\nthe miraculous is possible (i.e., people just don’t rise from the dead).<\/p>\n

Long story short, intense doubt and questioning have been constant
\ncompanions for me since high school. Further
\nstill, that doubt only seems to be becoming more and more incendiary and
\ncorrosive. Please keep in mind that I am by no means a fundamentalist
\nand have been accused of being quite liberal (at least in comparison to
\nmany believers found in this part of the country…to which i will not
\ndeny). However, I feel as if through years of theological study and
\nserious critical engagement, I’ve somehow opened Pandora’s Box and now
\nam forever unable to shut it in lieu of feigned ignorance. I’m
\nsuspended between two worlds almost. On one hand the world of faith
\nin God and the actions that belief should enact…and on the other
\ndisbelief in God and the apparent “puposeless-ness” and randomness and
\ncruelty of life.<\/p>\n

How do I move forward as a Christian when the foundation of that
\nChristian belief is quite literally not foundational for me at all right
\nnow? How do I have faith in a God that large chunks of me (and for
\nlonger and longer periods of time) don’t seem to quite believe in
\nanymore? Any insight you can offer would be welcomed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In a subsequent email,<\/b> the seminary student shared this: <\/p>\n

Essentially though, it boils down to one of two options: pretend that I
\nhave faith in God (since I am most comfortable in this context and my
\nupbringing\/worldview are inextricably linked to the Christian worldview
\nand subsequent expected lifestyle), or reject Christianity and belief in
\nGod (and in the process risk a severe identity\/existential crisis).
\nThe seemingly most impossible option for me is genuine faith and belief
\nin God.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How would you answer a doubter like this?<\/b> What do you do when you seem to have only two options: lying, or abandoning a perspective and context you’ve spent three decades in pursuit of…something deeply ingrained into your life, your family, and your future?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since O Me of Little Faith released in April, I’ve been getting emails and Facebook messages from readers along the whole continuum of the doubt spectrum, from new believers doubting God’s love for them to long-time believers doubting God’s existence. Occasionally I’ll get one that’s really heartbreaking. I try to answer each of these to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[64,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letters","category-questions"],"yoast_head":"\nLetters: When Faith Seems Impossible - O Me of Little Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/09\/letters-when-faith-seems-impossible.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Letters: When Faith Seems Impossible - O Me of Little Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Since O Me of Little Faith released in April, I’ve been getting emails and Facebook messages from readers along the whole continuum of the doubt spectrum, from new believers doubting God’s love for them to long-time believers doubting God’s existence. 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Follow him at twitter and jasonboyett.com.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/author\/jboyett"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/84"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=599"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}