{"id":518,"date":"2010-05-19T16:00:49","date_gmt":"2010-05-19T16:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/05\/lord-jesus-christ-hit-by-a-car.html"},"modified":"2010-05-19T16:00:49","modified_gmt":"2010-05-19T16:00:49","slug":"lord-jesus-christ-hit-by-a-car","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/05\/lord-jesus-christ-hit-by-a-car.html","title":{"rendered":"Lord Jesus Christ Hit by a Car"},"content":{"rendered":"

You heard the Massachusetts story<\/b> last week about Jesus Christ getting hit by a car<\/a>, right? Turns out there’s a Belchertown resident — a dreadlocked, cross-dressing artist who had his name legally changed to “Lord Jesus Christ” — who was injured while crossing the street. A car hit him, even though he was in a crosswalk.<\/p>\n

Yes. A crosswalk.<\/p>\n

All the news networks picked up the story, but the best part of it were the unintentionally hilarious lines in the newspapers.<\/p>\n

Just from the Masslive.com story linked above, we have these gems:<\/p>\n

“Really? That’s amazing,” said Jesus Christ, who said he was unaware of
\nthe attention generated by his accident.<\/b> [Even omniscience has trouble keeping up with the current news cycle.]<\/p>\n

Jesus Christ has no telephone and no access to the Internet at home.<\/b> [If he did, the anachronism would just be too much.]<\/p>\n

He said he does not believe the accident was intentional but Jesus
\nChrist has hired a lawyer anyway.<\/b> [And you thought the grace-versus-Law debate had been settled.]<\/p>\n

A Detroit native, Jesus Christ resettled to Belchertown about 10 years
\nago after his sister moved out here and spoke highly of Western
\nMassachusetts. <\/b>[Too. Many. Jokes.]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This explains why Jesus occasionally seems absent from my daily life. It’s because he became an artist in Massachusetts. <\/p>\n

I never thought to look there.<\/p>\n

\"jesusartjpg-2e4d5bba13c57bdf_large.jpg\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Lord Jesus Christ <\/b>points to a collage he’s making from his apartment in Belchertown<\/i> (The
\nRepublican \/ Patrick Johnson<\/a>)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You heard the Massachusetts story last week about Jesus Christ getting hit by a car, right? Turns out there’s a Belchertown resident — a dreadlocked, cross-dressing artist who had his name legally changed to “Lord Jesus Christ” — who was injured while crossing the street. A car hit him, even though he was in a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,53],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-518","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-religion","category-weird"],"yoast_head":"\nLord Jesus Christ Hit by a Car - O Me of Little Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/05\/lord-jesus-christ-hit-by-a-car.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Lord Jesus Christ Hit by a Car - O Me of Little Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You heard the Massachusetts story last week about Jesus Christ getting hit by a car, right? 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