{"id":335,"date":"2008-10-01T12:41:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-01T12:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/omeoflittlefaith\/2008\/10\/canned-jesus.html"},"modified":"2008-10-01T12:41:00","modified_gmt":"2008-10-01T12:41:00","slug":"canned-jesus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2008\/10\/canned-jesus.html","title":{"rendered":"Canned Jesus"},"content":{"rendered":"

First, I need you to look<\/span> at the product below, produced by some new Christian brand called 1 in 3 Trinity<\/a>. They specialize in Christian clothing and energy drinks. That’s right: energy drinks. You should know that a Christian energy drink, apparently, is a real product and not at all something made up by Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert or Bill Maher. It’s real.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Energy Drink: Fused with Fruit of the Spirit<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I thought Christian t-shirts<\/a> were weird.<\/p>\n

By the way, I learned of this fine new product from Mr. <\/a>Matthew Paul Turner<\/a>, with whom I occasionally G-chat for fun but never profit. The exchange was as follows:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Imagine my surprise, though, when I looked more closely at the Spirit-ade drink and discovered it contained only 10 calories. Which means the fruit of the Spirit isn’t just energizing, but is also perfectly safe for those concerned about their weight.<\/p>\n

Yet another reason to choose Christianity over other world religions. Including Buddhism, which is obviously a fatty faith.<\/p>\n

Update: <\/span>The marketer in me can’t help but look at those cans of Jesusade and think of better slogans than “Fused with Fruit of the Spirit.” For instance, I would probably go with a nod to The Jerk…<\/a><\/p>\n

1 in 3 Trinity Energy Drink: He hates these cans!<\/span><\/p>\n

The “he” being Satan, of course.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

First, I need you to look at the product below, produced by some new Christian brand called 1 in 3 Trinity. They specialize in Christian clothing and energy drinks. That’s right: energy drinks. You should know that a Christian energy drink, apparently, is a real product and not at all something made up by Jon…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-snark"],"yoast_head":"\nCanned Jesus - O Me of Little Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2008\/10\/canned-jesus.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Canned Jesus - O Me of Little Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"First, I need you to look at the product below, produced by some new Christian brand called 1 in 3 Trinity. 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