{"id":31,"date":"2010-03-18T08:29:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-18T08:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/03\/meet-the-mama-monk.html"},"modified":"2010-03-18T08:29:00","modified_gmt":"2010-03-18T08:29:00","slug":"meet-the-mama-monk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2010\/03\/meet-the-mama-monk.html","title":{"rendered":"Meet the Mama Monk"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m the oldest<\/span> of three Boyett siblings. I’ve discussed my brother the prestidigitator<\/a> and his inner-city ministry<\/a> a time or two, but haven’t ever said much about my little sister. I’m not sure of the reason for this, other than the fact that she hasn’t ever been very active online, and I didn’t have anywhere to link.<\/p>\n

\"\"In retrospect, that sounds really dumb, but it might in fact be true. Anyway, she’s online now. Micha Boyett-Hohorst is now blogging as the Mama:Monk<\/a> and tweeting as @mbhohorst<\/a>, and it’s about stinking time. She’s an excellent writer, a wonderful person, and the only Boyett family member to have lived in the Northeast Yankee Territories (Philadelphia) and the West Coast Liberal Territories (San Francisco) of the United States. She’s practically an alien life form in our family, but we love her all the same.<\/p>\n

You need to meet her. So I decided to interview my very own sister, a graduate-degree poet who, just a few weeks into it, has already created a fascinating blog about motherhood and monasticism<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Jason: <\/span>I’ve always thought you’d make a good blogger, but you’ve held out for a long time. Why make the leap now?<\/span><\/p>\n

Micha:<\/span> I am the least Internet-savvy 30-year-old on the continent. I am miserable about Facebook and I\u2019m still getting used to email. I would have been so happy being a character in a Jane Austen novel<\/a>. I could sit around all day drinking tea in an uncomfortable dress, my only task to write long letters with a pen and actual paper.<\/p>\n

Also, I spent the last four years in full time youth ministry. It was not a season of my life where I felt I could focus on writing. Now that I\u2019m staying home full time with my little boy, I\u2019m excited about it.<\/p>\n

Where did the fascination with Benedictine monks come from? You know we’re Baptists, right? <\/span><\/p>\n

I know, I know. I\u2019m the worst Baptist ever. My Baptist college won\u2019t even claim me anymore now that I went off the deep end and baptized my baby in an Anglican church.<\/p>\n

The monk fascination started with a love for the liturgy. My faith often feels weak and really delicate. I need an earthy reassurance. There\u2019s something about the liturgy that secures me, that tethers me in a fixed, permanent way to the believers who\u2019ve gone before me. It\u2019s this powerful connection. I love that the prayers and creeds and scripture passages we speak on Sunday in the liturgy are the same that believers all over the world are speaking. I love that we\u2019re praying what has been prayed for centuries.<\/p>\n

August\u2019s birth changed everything, including my spiritual life. I was prepared for the outward changes motherhood would bring: diapering and comforting and feeding. But I wasn\u2019t prepared for what motherhood would do to my inner life. My sense of normalcy changed so much that I struggled to focus on anything else but August. The time and attention that prayer required seemed impossible and that produced in me an overwhelming anxiety. I needed to relearn how to pray.<\/p>\n

Around that time I was reading Kathleen Norris\u2019 book The Cloister Walk<\/span><\/a>, a book about a year she spent in a Benedictine monastery. Her prologue mentions that Benedictines live as if there is enough time each day for work, study, rest and prayer. And I had this moment of clarity: That\u2019s what I need. Enough time to be a mom and pray and still enjoy the things and people I love. So I figured I\u2019d better let Benedict and his monks start teaching me how to not be a crazy mother.<\/p>\n

What was one of the biggest surprises about motherhood for you? <\/span><\/p>\n

Amazingly, it has relaxed me. August has slowed me down in really lovely ways. Since I\u2019m a naturally anxious person, I was fearful that when he was born, I\u2019d be freaking out and screaming at my husband and constantly worried about all the ways he could die. And don\u2019t get me wrong, I can still be nervous about the little guy, but the first time I held him, I felt my insides settle a little.<\/p>\n

I have always been concerned with doing enough, wanting my life to count for something. Being a mother naturally forced me into another schedule, a much slower, all consuming schedule. And I can\u2019t find my worth any more in how much I can \u201caccomplish\u201d each day. Because, really, with a toddler, I can\u2019t accomplish much other than playing and eating and living.<\/p>\n

You’ve been a mom for a couple of years now, in two different parts of the country. How is motherhood in San Francisco different from being a mom in Philadelphia? <\/span><\/p>\n

We were in the suburbs in Philly. And we are right in the city here in San Francisco. I love being in the city with August. He\u2019s exposed to so much of the world here. I love that we can walk down our block at 8:30 in the morning and see fifty elderly people from Chinatown doing Tai-Chi in the park. He hears people speaking Mandarin all the time. We come across homeless people every day and he\u2019s learning to smile at them and say hi. I love the community feeling of having one park that all the kids in the neighborhood go to every day because there\u2019s nowhere else to play.<\/p>\n

In Philly, August had some really special adults in his life who loved him and prayed for him. As much as we live in more of a physical community here, it\u2019s surface level and based around location. I know it takes time to develop meaningful relationships, but I miss the support system we had in Philadelphia.<\/p>\n

You have a prestigious MFA in poetry from Syracuse. How is that degree impacting your life right now? (I ask this on behalf of the blue-collar side of our family.) <\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you for the meaningful question, brother! It\u2019s impacting my life because poetry is just a part of my life. I\u2019ve always loved sound and form and rhythm. Poetry creates an emotion or image or moment of beauty in such a small amount of space. Every word has a purpose. Nothing\u2019s wasted. Poetry doesn\u2019t need anything other than words to do its work. The words make the rhythm; the language is the music.<\/p>\n

I know that people get their MFAs in poetry to actually \u201cbecome\u201d poets and though I\u2019m not saying I\u2019m a poetry failure, I\u2019m also not an MFA success story. I worked on publishing poems for a while and got burned out by it. I don\u2019t think I have what it takes to make it in the dangerous world of poetry! Maybe that\u2019ll change and I\u2019ll pursue it again, but for now I think poetry\u2019s role in my life is to make me a mother who loves Art and allows that to give me joy and help me pray.<\/p>\n

Plus, my blog is committed to memorizing poems<\/a>! Woohoo!<\/p>\n

Describe the three Boyett siblings, as a whole, in a sentence of six words or less. <\/span><\/p>\n

Three bl
\nond child-waifs eat burritos. <\/span><\/p>\n

I think that fittingly describes our childhood.<\/p>\n

Wow. I wasn’t sure you could do it, but that pretty much sums it up. Well done. So after three weeks of blogging, what do you like best about it? <\/span><\/p>\n

I love the pressure of writing everyday. I love hearing from readers and feeling like we\u2019re connecting. And I love having a place where I can work through what I\u2019m learning on a daily basis.<\/p>\n

What are your goals for Mama:Monk<\/a>? <\/span><\/p>\n

I want Mama:Monk to be a place that challenges me and my readers to live a life of contemplation in the midst of the craziness of motherhood. I\u2019m hoping it challenges us to live out a calling to hospitality in a culture that has locked individual families away neatly in suburban homes and broken our relationships to the point that friendships are something we have to schedule.<\/p>\n

I want it to be a place where we can struggle with the complexities of being a stay-at-home mom in a culture that doesn\u2019t value that choice. I hate meeting new people and having to answer the, \u201cSo what do you do?\u201d question<\/a>. It\u2019s so loaded. Why is it so hard to value myself and my role as a stay-at-home mom? I want to learn how to answer that question without feeling like a lame-o.<\/p>\n

I want to learn with my readers how to be moms of confidence and joy who live like monks, without being bald and wearing robes. (Well, sometimes I wear a robe.)<\/p>\n

Why is August (the child) awesome?<\/span><\/p>\n

Because today while we read his dinosaur book. I read: \u201cThere were dinosaurs with clubs on their tails,\u201d and he lovingly caressed the dinosaur and said: \u201cBoomboom! Owowow!\u201d<\/p>\n

Why is August (the month) awesome? <\/span><\/p>\n

Fireflies. Swimming pools. My birthday. New school clothes!<\/p>\n

\"\"What do you think my readers need to know about me that I probably would never tell them because I am too image-conscious? <\/span><\/p>\n

They should know that when you were in high school you tried to be a Christian rapper. Mom sewed you several pairs of MC Hammer-esque balloon pants<\/a> — I recall a pair of black with white polka dots — which you wore on a daily basis (or at least around our house). You and some friends performed a rap at my youth group\u2019s middle school Valentine party. And (should I say it?), you called yourselves \u201cThe Sheep Posse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wow. It\u2019s out there. How do you feel, buddy?<\/p>\n

Well. I certainly regret having asked <\/span>that<\/span> question. You couldn’t have talked about my beautiful hair? Regardless: Sheep posse, ho!<\/span><\/p>\n

————–<\/p>\n

So that’s my sister, Micha. <\/span>If you’re a mom — stay-at-home or otherwise — you need to be reading her blog. If you’re like me, you’ll also enjoy it, just because my sister is a deep spiritual thinker, a voracious reader, and a gifted writer.<\/p>\n

Go get to know the Mama:Monk<\/a> and follow her on Twitter<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m the oldest of three Boyett siblings. I’ve discussed my brother the prestidigitator and his inner-city ministry a time or two, but haven’t ever said much about my little sister. 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