{"id":243,"date":"2009-02-16T06:13:00","date_gmt":"2009-02-16T06:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/omeoflittlefaith\/2009\/02\/i-find-your-lack-of-pants-disturbing.html"},"modified":"2009-02-16T06:13:00","modified_gmt":"2009-02-16T06:13:00","slug":"i-find-your-lack-of-pants-disturbing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2009\/02\/i-find-your-lack-of-pants-disturbing.html","title":{"rendered":"I Find Your Lack of Pants Disturbing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last week,<\/span> Kottke.org pointed to a brilliant list<\/a> of lines from Star Wars<\/a> that could be made vastly more interesting by replacing a single word with “pants.” That list gave me great joy, so I’ll share a few of my favorites with you:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>+<\/span><\/span> I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> You came in those pants? You’re braver than I thought.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> Pull up! All pants pull up!<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> These aren’t the pants you’re looking for.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> That blast came from the pants! That thing’s operational!<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> I am altering the pants. Pray that I don’t alter them any further.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> Tell that to Jabba. If you’re lucky he might only take your pants.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> I want them alive. No pants.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> Your pants, you will not need them.<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking pants herder!<\/p>\n

+<\/span><\/span> This bucket of pants is never going to get us past that blockade.<\/p>\n

[H\/T: Shuey<\/a>]<\/p>\n

————–<\/p>\n

There’s a lot of possibilities in the pants-replacement meme. Given all the Jonathan Edwards fun<\/a> from a few days ago, I think we ought to combine a few of his choice phrases with, yes, pants. Come back for the frivolity.<\/p>\n

And the pants.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last week, Kottke.org pointed to a brilliant list of lines from Star Wars that could be made vastly more interesting by replacing a single word with “pants.” That list gave me great joy, so I’ll share a few of my favorites with you: + I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants. + You…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,5,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","category-linkage","category-lists"],"yoast_head":"\nI Find Your Lack of Pants Disturbing - O Me of Little Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/omeoflittlefaith\/2009\/02\/i-find-your-lack-of-pants-disturbing.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Find Your Lack of Pants Disturbing - O Me of Little Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Last week, Kottke.org pointed to a brilliant list of lines from Star Wars that could be made vastly more interesting by replacing a single word with “pants.” That list gave me great joy, so I’ll share a few of my favorites with you: + I cannot teach him. 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