{"id":690,"date":"2018-10-11T05:00:25","date_gmt":"2018-10-11T05:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/?p=690"},"modified":"2018-10-08T12:03:42","modified_gmt":"2018-10-08T12:03:42","slug":"690","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/2018\/10\/690.html","title":{"rendered":"4 Steps to Truly Forgiving Someone (10 Steps to Freedom Week 5 Day 4)"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_691\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-691\" style=\"width: 200px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-691\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/403\/2018\/10\/felix-koutchinski-710412-unsplash-200x300.jpg\" alt=\"unsplash-logoFelix Koutchinski\" width=\"200\" height=\"300\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-691\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a style=\"background-color: black;color: white;text-decoration: none;padding: 4px 6px;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, 'Segoe UI', Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 12px;font-weight: bold;line-height: 1.2\" title=\"Download free do whatever you want high-resolution photos from Felix Koutchinski\" href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@koutchinski?utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=photographer-credit&amp;utm_content=creditBadge\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span style=\"padding: 2px 3px\">Felix Koutchinski<\/span><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><em>The following is a devotion from my message series\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/playlist?list=PLc2RhsjwQZTwcnhNWFDA7Q9FgjZUjTj7P\">10 Steps to Freedom<\/a>. I hope these devotionals help you experience lasting freedom in Jesus!<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: center\"><strong><span class=\"s1\">STEP FIVE: day 4<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: center\"><span class=\"s1\"><i>Release your hurt through <\/i><b><i>forgiveness<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">What does it look like on a practical level to release your hurt through forgiveness? It is more than simply saying the words, \u201cI forgive you.\u201d Here are four steps to forgiveness:<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><b><\/b><span class=\"s1\"><b>Meditate on how much God has forgiven you.<\/b> Many times unforgiveness begins to feed upon itself, magnifying our hurts until they dwarf out everything else. When we intentionally meditate (through Scripture, song or reflection) on just how much God has forgiven us, everything begins to come back to its proper balance.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><\/b><span class=\"s1\"><b>Try and see them from a different perspective.<\/b> <i>Hurt people hurt people<\/i>. Because our pain causes us to look inward, it is not natural for us to try and see things from their perspective. This never excuses their behavior, but it may help explain it. For example if someone has betrayed you perhaps it\u2019s because they were betrayed as a child and it was the only way they were taught to interact with others, as destructive as it might be.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><\/b><span class=\"s1\"><b>Decide that their harm is not worth your continued pain. <\/b>Your unforgiveness does much more damage to you than it does to them. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. You have to choose to put the poison down.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><\/b><span class=\"s1\"><b>Trust that God will avenge you.<\/b> Forgiveness is ultimately about trust. If you choose to forgive, do you trust God to avenge you and hold them accountable?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p class=\"p3\">\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">1. Of the four steps listed today, which one seems the easiest? Which one seems the hardest?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">2. Read Romans 12:19-21. How does this change your view of how God avenges those who have hurt you? What happens when you choose to forgive and be kind instead of choosing revenge and unforgiveness?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>You can read other devotional entries\u00a0for 10 Steps to Freedom\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/10-steps-to-freedom\/\">here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following is a devotion from my message series\u00a010 Steps to Freedom. I hope these devotionals help you experience lasting freedom in Jesus! STEP FIVE: day 4 Release your hurt through forgiveness What does it look like on a practical level to release your hurt through forgiveness? It is more than simply saying the words,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":607,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[316],"tags":[114,64],"class_list":["post-690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-10-steps-to-freedom","tag-forgive","tag-forgiveness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>4 Steps to Truly Forgiving Someone (10 Steps to Freedom Week 5 Day 4) - Next Steps<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Forgiveness isn&#039;t easy, but it is possible, and forgiveness is how you release the pain from your past. 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Josh graduated from New Orleans Seminary with a Masters of Divinity and a Doctor of Ministry. Josh has been involved in full-time ministry for over twenty years. He enjoys hiking, beach volleyball, reading, playing anything competitive, and rough-housing with his kids. Josh, his gorgeous wife Robin, his outrageously handsome boys Zeke, Shepherd and Lincoln and his princess Elle, live in northern Virginia. Josh also blogs on Patheos as New Wineskins: an Apologist for the Modern Church and you can find links to all his content on joshdaffern.com. 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