{"id":534,"date":"2018-07-24T05:00:23","date_gmt":"2018-07-24T05:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/?p=534"},"modified":"2018-07-18T19:14:43","modified_gmt":"2018-07-18T19:14:43","slug":"one-person-will-cause-pain-anyone-else","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/2018\/07\/one-person-will-cause-pain-anyone-else.html","title":{"rendered":"The One Person Who Will Cause You More Pain Than Anyone Else"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_535\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-535\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-535\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/403\/2018\/07\/fares-hamouche-677535-unsplash-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"unsplash-logoFares Hamouche\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-535\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a title=\"Download free do whatever you want high-resolution photos from Fares Hamouche\" href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@fodelwdc?utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=photographer-credit&amp;utm_content=creditBadge\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span style=\"padding: 2px 3px\">Fares Hamouche<\/span><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>We tend to carry around the hurt in our lives. We have lists of grievances against all those who hurt us, from the minor slights to the heart-breaking betrayals. If we fed into our worst selves, we could be engulfed in a tsunami of pain and misery just remembering all the hurt done to us over the years.<\/p>\n<p>But here&#8217;s the crazy thing, something many of us don&#8217;t think about. In all those bad decisions you ever made, the consequences of which still haunt you to this day, who was the one person involved in all of those decisions? When those close friends betrayed you, who was the person that chose them as friends? In all the hurt and broken relationships around you, who was the person that self-destructed, that couldn&#8217;t quit, that made the choices that hurt those you love so deeply? It&#8217;s you. You&#8217;re the common denominator.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ve been the deciding factor in\u00a0every bad decision you&#8217;ve ever made. You&#8217;ve chosen the friends that ended up hurting you. You&#8217;re the one that was too stubborn and prideful to ask for help before it was too late. Your greatest regrets stem from you, that&#8217;s why you&#8217;re the one person who will cause you more pain than anyone else.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe that&#8217;s why the Apostle Paul describes the human condition this way:<\/p>\n<p><strong><span id=\"en-NIV-28002\" class=\"text Rom-3-10\"><sup class=\"versenum\">\u00a0<\/sup>As it is written:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"poetry top-05\">\n<p class=\"line\"><strong><span class=\"text Rom-3-10\">\u201cThere is no one righteous, not even one;<\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><span class=\"indent-1\"><span id=\"en-NIV-28003\" class=\"text Rom-3-11\"><sup class=\"versenum\">\u00a0<\/sup><span class=\"indent-1-breaks\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>there is no one who understands;<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><span class=\"indent-1\"><span class=\"indent-1-breaks\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"text Rom-3-11\">there is no one who seeks God.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><span id=\"en-NIV-28004\" class=\"text Rom-3-12\"><sup class=\"versenum\">\u00a0<\/sup>All have turned away,<\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><span class=\"indent-1\"><span class=\"indent-1-breaks\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"text Rom-3-12\">they have together become worthless;<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><span class=\"text Rom-3-12\">there is no one who does good,<\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span class=\"indent-1\"><strong><span class=\"indent-1-breaks\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"text Rom-3-12\"><strong>not even one.&#8221;<\/strong> Romans 3:10-12<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"line\">We have a horrifying ability as humans to sabotage our own lives, which is why we desperately need Jesus to save us and his Spirit to change us from the inside out. Instead of blaming everyone else, maybe it&#8217;s time to start asking God to change the person in the mirror, the one person who&#8217;s caused us more pain than anyone else.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We tend to carry around the hurt in our lives. We have lists of grievances against all those who hurt us, from the minor slights to the heart-breaking betrayals. If we fed into our worst selves, we could be engulfed in a tsunami of pain and misery just remembering all the hurt done to us&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":607,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[65,290,250,292,291],"class_list":["post-534","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-next-steps","tag-jesus","tag-mirror","tag-pain","tag-self","tag-sin"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The One Person Who Will Cause You More Pain Than Anyone Else - Next Steps<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We can all give lists of names of people that have hurt and betrayed us throughout our lives, but there&#039;s one person at the very top.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/2018\/07\/one-person-will-cause-pain-anyone-else.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The One Person Who Will Cause You More Pain Than Anyone Else - 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Josh Daffern","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/#\/schema\/person\/8ac2e15479ad6a320d2082837203cb7c","name":"Josh Daffern","description":"Born and raised in California, Josh graduated college from California Baptist University and spent two years as a missionary in Africa before coming back to America and finding the love of his life (Robin). Josh graduated from New Orleans Seminary with a Masters of Divinity and a Doctor of Ministry. Josh has been involved in full-time ministry for over twenty years. He enjoys hiking, beach volleyball, reading, playing anything competitive, and rough-housing with his kids. Josh, his gorgeous wife Robin, his outrageously handsome boys Zeke, Shepherd and Lincoln and his princess Elle, live in northern Virginia. Josh also blogs on Patheos as New Wineskins: an Apologist for the Modern Church and you can find links to all his content on joshdaffern.com. 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