{"id":420,"date":"2017-12-13T11:24:31","date_gmt":"2017-12-13T11:24:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/?p=420"},"modified":"2017-12-13T11:24:31","modified_gmt":"2017-12-13T11:24:31","slug":"2-things-stop-playing-blame-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/2017\/12\/2-things-stop-playing-blame-game.html","title":{"rendered":"2 Things You Have to Do to Stop Playing the Blame Game"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_421\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-421\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-421\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/403\/2017\/12\/jad-limcaco-383026-300x183.jpg\" alt=\"unsplash-logoJad Limcaco\" width=\"300\" height=\"183\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-421\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a style=\"background-color: black;color: white;text-decoration: none;padding: 4px 6px;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, 'Segoe UI', Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 12px;font-weight: bold;line-height: 1.2\" title=\"Download free do whatever you want high-resolution photos from Jad Limcaco\" href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@jadlimcaco?utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=photographer-credit&amp;utm_content=creditBadge\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span style=\"padding: 2px 3px\">unsplash-logo<\/span><span style=\"padding: 2px 3px\">Jad Limcaco<\/span><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>In my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/2017\/12\/3-reasons-blame-destructive.html\">last post<\/a> we talked about three ways that blame is incredibly destructive and harmful in your life. In this post we&#8217;ll talk about two things you have to do to stop playing the blame game.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ve probably had a conversation with someone where you&#8217;ve told them they needed to stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for their lives. Sometimes that works, many times it doesn&#8217;t. If you want to stop the blame game, you have to address the core reasons why people blame: pride and fear. People blame others because they&#8217;re too prideful to admit that they could do wrong. As long as pride runs rampant in your life, you&#8217;ll never possess the humility needed to accept responsibility for your actions. If you want to stop living a life of blame, you&#8217;ve got to learn to humble yourself. Look at the humility Paul showed when he took responsibility for his actions, &#8220;<em><span class=\"s1\">Here is a trustworthy saying\u00a0that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners\u2014of whom I am the worst&#8221;<\/span><\/em><span class=\"s2\">\u00a0(1 Timothy 1:15).<\/span><\/p>\n<p>An even deeper motivation for blame is fear, fear that if you accept responsibility for your actions, the weight of the guilt and shame would crush you. When Adam and Eve hid from God in the Garden of Eden and blamed others for their actions, it was out of fear of God&#8217;s punishment. The antidote to fear is love, as John says, &#8220;<em>perfect love drives out fear<\/em>&#8221; (1 John 4:18). God as our Heavenly Father relentlessly pursues us, but it&#8217;s not to punish us; it&#8217;s to embrace us in love. When we immerse ourselves in the love and grace of our Heavenly Father, the fear of punishment will dissipate from our lives and we can live a life free from the destructive side effects of blame.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In my last post we talked about three ways that blame is incredibly destructive and harmful in your life. In this post we&#8217;ll talk about two things you have to do to stop playing the blame game. You&#8217;ve probably had a conversation with someone where you&#8217;ve told them they needed to stop blaming others and&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":607,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[227,109,79,61,67],"class_list":["post-420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-next-steps","tag-blame","tag-fear","tag-humility","tag-love","tag-pride"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>2 Things You Have to Do to Stop Playing the Blame Game - Next Steps<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you want to live a life free from the destructive side effects of blame, you have to attack the two motivating factors that cause you to blame.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/2017\/12\/2-things-stop-playing-blame-game.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"2 Things You Have to Do to Stop Playing the Blame Game - 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Josh Daffern","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/#\/schema\/person\/8ac2e15479ad6a320d2082837203cb7c","name":"Josh Daffern","description":"Born and raised in California, Josh graduated college from California Baptist University and spent two years as a missionary in Africa before coming back to America and finding the love of his life (Robin). Josh graduated from New Orleans Seminary with a Masters of Divinity and a Doctor of Ministry. Josh has been involved in full-time ministry for over twenty years. He enjoys hiking, beach volleyball, reading, playing anything competitive, and rough-housing with his kids. Josh, his gorgeous wife Robin, his outrageously handsome boys Zeke, Shepherd and Lincoln and his princess Elle, live in northern Virginia. Josh also blogs on Patheos as New Wineskins: an Apologist for the Modern Church and you can find links to all his content on joshdaffern.com. 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