{"id":258,"date":"2017-05-01T10:49:05","date_gmt":"2017-05-01T10:49:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/?p=258"},"modified":"2017-05-01T10:49:05","modified_gmt":"2017-05-01T10:49:05","slug":"wedding-sermon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/2017\/05\/wedding-sermon.html","title":{"rendered":"Redefining the Purpose of Marriage: A Wedding Sermon"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_259\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-259\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-259\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/403\/2017\/05\/tom-pumford-230349-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"unsplash.com\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-259\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">unsplash.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><em>Here is the wedding sermon from a recent marriage ceremony where I talked about redefining the expectations we have for marriage<\/em>:<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Marriage is one of the most powerful covenants in the world today. It has the power to bring untold joy, happiness, peace, contentment, companionship, intimacy and love to us. No other human relationship can go as deeply as the marriage relationship. At the same time, marriage can also bring more pain, more heartache, more isolation, more frustration, more grief and more sorrow than any other human relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">As some would tell you, sometimes marriage doesn\u2019t end up the way that we want. But that\u2019s not a reason to avoid marriage. That\u2019s just a reason to make sure we have the proper expectations of marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Too often we fall victim to a cultural expectation of marriage that far exceeds anything God ever created it to be. We look to marriage to be the end all of happiness and purpose in life. We expect our spouse to be \u2018the One,\u2019 to be completely perfect, put together, to completely submit their needs and wants to ours, to assist us in the achievement of our goals, all the while filling us with the love, purpose, and fulfillment we have yet to be able to find. We expect our spouses to give us what only Christ himself can give us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Brittany, Ben\u2019s good looking, but he\u2019s not Jesus. He\u2019s going to let you down. He\u2019s going to make mistakes. If you\u2019re looking for him to complete you, you\u2019ll be sorely disappointed. Only Jesus can give you the happiness and purpose that you\u2019re looking for. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Ben, Brittany is an incredible person, but she\u2019s not Jesus. She\u2019s going to make mistakes. She\u2019s going to show her imperfections. Only Christ can give you the hope and purpose that you ultimately crave. When we set our spouses or potential spouses up with expectations that only Jesus can fulfill, then we set them up for failure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">If marriage isn\u2019t about finding the one person who will make you complete and take all your problems and loneliness away, then what\u2019s the purpose of marriage? Marriage is about happiness, about companionship, about oneness and procreation, but ultimately, it\u2019s about God. God created marriage to give us a living picture of Christ\u2019s love for the church. That\u2019s why the Bible says, \u201cHusbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church,\u201d and \u201cwives submit to your husbands as the church submits to Christ.\u201d Marriage, ultimately, is a spiritual endeavor. Without Christ\u2019s help every step of the way, we will fail.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When you pursue marriage solely as a means to be happy, you\u2019ll ultimately be disappointed. But <strong>if you approach marriage with the idea that it\u2019s more about making you holy than making you happy, you\u2019ll discover the true meaning of marriage<\/strong>. One thing marriage is great for is showing your faults, your selfish tendencies, the little parts of you that you can hide from everyone else except your spouse. As you struggle as two sinful human beings trying to make a marriage work, you\u2019ll continually realize your dependence on God for success.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">As you continually invite God into your marriage to change you (not your spouse), to change you into the husband or wife you need to be, you\u2019ll experience his presence in ways you never thought possible. You\u2019ll begin to be a better husband or wife, you\u2019ll begin to look more like Jesus, and in the process, you\u2019ll discover that deeper joy and purpose that you\u2019ve been looking for all along.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Done God\u2019s way, marriage is the most beautiful experience in the world. Ben and Brittany, I rejoice with you as you begin this journey together.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here is the wedding sermon from a recent marriage ceremony where I talked about redefining the expectations we have for marriage: Marriage is one of the most powerful covenants in the world today. It has the power to bring untold joy, happiness, peace, contentment, companionship, intimacy and love to us. No other human relationship can&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":607,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[137,48,136,99,132,135],"class_list":["post-258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-next-steps","tag-christ","tag-happy","tag-holy","tag-marriage","tag-purpose","tag-wedding"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Redefining the Purpose of Marriage: A Wedding Sermon - Next Steps<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"if you approach marriage with the idea that it\u2019s more about making you holy than making you happy, you\u2019ll discover the true meaning of marriage.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Redefining the Purpose of Marriage: A Wedding Sermon - 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Josh Daffern","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/nextsteps\/#\/schema\/person\/8ac2e15479ad6a320d2082837203cb7c","name":"Josh Daffern","description":"Born and raised in California, Josh graduated college from California Baptist University and spent two years as a missionary in Africa before coming back to America and finding the love of his life (Robin). Josh graduated from New Orleans Seminary with a Masters of Divinity and a Doctor of Ministry. Josh has been involved in full-time ministry for over twenty years. He enjoys hiking, beach volleyball, reading, playing anything competitive, and rough-housing with his kids. Josh, his gorgeous wife Robin, his outrageously handsome boys Zeke, Shepherd and Lincoln and his princess Elle, live in northern Virginia. Josh also blogs on Patheos as New Wineskins: an Apologist for the Modern Church and you can find links to all his content on joshdaffern.com. 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