{"id":12063,"date":"2013-03-14T10:24:18","date_gmt":"2013-03-14T14:24:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/news\/?p=12063"},"modified":"2013-03-14T10:35:38","modified_gmt":"2013-03-14T14:35:38","slug":"focus-on-the-familys-president-says-its-time-to-refocus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/news\/2013\/03\/focus-on-the-familys-president-says-its-time-to-refocus","title":{"rendered":"Focus on the Family\u2019s President Says It\u2019s Time to \u201cRefocus\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0It\u2019s tough out there in the culture wars and Jim Daly has the battle scars to prove it.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Focus on the Family President Jim Daly<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But does the top executive of Focus on the Family believe he can ever successfully declare a truce with forces that seem determined to discredit his ministry? Can Daly ever dilute Focus on the Family\u2019s message enough to win his opponents\u2019 approval?<\/p>\n

There are radical groups declaring vehemently that the Colorado Springs-based ministry founded in 1977 by Dr. James Dobson is a \u201chate group\u201d because it opposes same-sex marriage.<\/p>\n

Focus on the Family historically also has opposed abortion, divorce, gambling, pornography, pre-marital sex and drug abuse. It promotes teenage sexual abstinence, corporal punishment and school prayer.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe must speak truth,\u201d says Daly, \u201cbut do so in a way that represents the Gospel.\u201d<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s the theme of his new book ReFocus: Living a Life that Reflects God\u2019s Heart.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Speaking the truth does not include diluting the Focus on the Family message, he insists. \u201cWe must speak truth in such a way that people can hear what we have to say. They can disagree with us without being in violent disagreement with us. We can do things on our side to avoid hostility even though there\u2019s great disagreement. I believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Daly’s new book — Refocus: Living a Life that Reflects God’s Heart<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0That\u2019s a tough assignment in today\u2019s cultural environment, which conservative author Andrea Tantaros<\/a> describes as one in which anyone standing up for traditional morality and speaking out against such issues as same-sex marriage \u201ccannot voice a dissenting opinion without being assaulted\u201d by vitriolic opponents who are \u201cnot interested in debating, only suppressing debate. Destroying your life and career is the sentence for anyone who dissents on these issues. The activists will carry out the sentence with the willing assistance of a compliant media.\u201d<\/p>\n

Daly\u2019s not so sure the situation is so hopeless. \u201cGod knows how the human heart is constructed emotionally,\u201d he says. \u201cHe knows if people talk to each other with respect and sincerity, guess what happens, a person\u2019s heart begins to open up. So, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s about diluting the message in order to gain acceptance.\u201d<\/p>\n

Our culture is in turmoil, admits Daly. \u201cPart of the difficulty today is that in the past, there was a cohesiveness when it came to our moral code. It was built on Christian principles. Our culture generally understood those principles and agreed with them, even through they knew they couldn\u2019t live up to them. So, people knew they were not supposed to lie. There was a social stigma to stealing, to divorce and to cheating. Many of our institutions were built on the idea of the golden rule and principles of honesty.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut as the decades have slipped by, we look around and wonder what has happened. How did we get to such a place as we find ourselves today? There\u2019s a bit of panic.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Focus on the Family founder Dr. James Dobson<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cFor example, marriage is an example of God\u2019s character in us,\u201d says Daly. \u201cGod starts with Genesis and goes all the way through Revelation using marriage as a metaphor of His relationship to us.\u201d<\/p>\n

But today marriage is under attack. \u201cI think one reason today\u2019s culture is so hard on marriage today,\u201d says Daly, \u201cis because it reflects God\u2019s image of humanity \u2013 that we\u2019re made in His image, male and female. But to create children together, we become one flesh. Paul says it\u2019s a mystery. And I think it\u2019s a great offense to the enemy of our souls.\u201d<\/p>\n

Strengthening the family \u2013 long a primary mission of Focus on the Family \u2013 remains unchanged, says Daly. \u201cResearch shows that today still the best place for the well-being of children is in their biological mom and dad\u2019s home. There\u2019s no other family unit that rivals it. Sure, no family\u2019s perfect because it\u2019s made up of imperfect people. But when a family is functioning well, there\u2019s love in the home and those children are going to do well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Daly speaks from experience. He\u2019s the youngest of five children born to alcoholic parents. He ended up in foster care system after his stepfather walked out during his mother’s funeral. What followed were hellish years during which his mentally ill foster father accused young Daly of trying to kill him. The boy\u2019s biological father, who had walked out when Daly was 5, returned to rescue him from a nightmare, but after a year fell back into alcohol abuse and committed suicide.<\/p>\n

\u201cI come from a broken childhood. I have a driving passion to try to get every child a better home and to be an advocate for that child who has no home.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was on his own at 17, but graduated from high school, then worked his way through college, earning a master\u2019s degree in business administration. He was making a six-figure corporate salary when he responded to a divine call in 1989 and joined Focus on the Family, taking a two-thirds salary cut.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s seen the ministry slash staff, force its founder into retirement and now come under unrelenting attack for its defence of traditional marriage between one man and one woman. His response?<\/p>\n

\u201cI think what we want to do is be respectful, to speak with sincerity, to listen to what others have to say and follow simple rules of human interaction. Then we can do a far better job of being heard and being understood.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to stay true to the tenants of the faith,\u201d explains Daly. \u201cBut in doing so, we look to 2 Timothy 2:23.\u201d In that passage, the Apostle Paul cautions young Timothy not to have anything to do with endless arguments. Paul also wrote to Timothy telling him that quarrels promote controversy rather than advancing God’s work \u2013 and that he should avoid people who have an unhealthy interest in ongoing controversy. \u201cWarn them before God against quarrelling; it is of no value and only ruins those who listen,\u201d he warned in 2 Timothy 2:14.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we are trying to help people understand spiritual truths, we need to do so with humility and graciousness,\u201d says Daly. That\u2019s why Focus on the Family, for example, shelved a program featuring the owner of Tom\u2019s shoes \u2013 who donates a pair of shoes to the poor worldwide for every pair sold. After filming a special with Daly, Tom\u2019s owner came under sharp attack by supporters of same-sex marriage who heatedly attacked Focus on the Family, equating it with Nazis, the Ku Klux Klan or worse. Overnight, Tom\u2019s owner abruptly distanced himself from Focus on the Family.<\/p>\n

It was embarrassing \u2013 and expensive for the ministry. The special had already been produced and was ready for broadcast. But Daly pulled it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Daly on Focus on the Family’s TV set<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Doesn\u2019t it hurt to be so viciously and unjustly attacked? How can an organization that stands for good be so fervidly accused of evil? Isaiah 5:20 warns: “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!”<\/p>\n

But these are difficult times \u2013 and Christians are going to have adjust their presentation in order to be heard, he says. \u201cWe\u2019ve focused a lot on righteousness and living righteously \u2013 and that is obviously important. But we have to look at God\u2019s grace, too.<\/p>\n

\u201cTruth is important, but God\u2019s love is critically important as well. It\u2019s what opens ears and hearts. We have to remember that those who don\u2019t agree with our faith, or our ideology or our religion are not the enemy. They are men and women, like us, created in the image of God and deserving our respect.\u201d<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s the theme of his book. He says it\u2019s time that Christians refocus \u2013 \u201clooking at making sure we\u2019re offering as much love to the culture as we are truth.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Jesus was accused of being a friend of sinners and really mixing it up with people who were of the world. That\u2019s what the Pharisees didn\u2019t like about Him, yet it\u2019s the model that Jesus left for us. And it changed the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

Daly knows the frustration of spending precious time and dollars in the political arena, then having little results to show for it. With an annual budget approaching $100 million, Focus on the Family spent millions promoting Christian values in the last election. And now, he says, he finds himself thinking these days more about the big picture \u2013 the Great Commission, winning the world for Jesus \u2013 and less about political platforms.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo often we expect the world to act like Christians. We\u2019re very grace-filled toward the church acting like the world.\u201d Daly says we must turn that around. \u201cOne way to do that is to live out our faith in front of the world in such a way that it glorifies God and brings honor to Him \u2013 in our marriages, our families and every area of our life.\u201d<\/p>\n

And perhaps it\u2019s time to rethink politics and the church, he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t compromise our principles,\u201d he says. \u201cHowever, when we divide along party lines, it robs the discussion and the debate. We need to interact with others in a way that will consistently reveal the heart of God to a desperately hurting world. The moral issues of our day transcend the political debate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Daly faces a radio interviewer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Christians often forget there\u2019s a larger audience out there, he says. Just preaching to the faithful isn\u2019t changing the world. \u201cWhen we\u2019re just talking to each other and patting each other on the back, we\u2019re not making any progress. But if we engage those on the other side of the ideological spectrum to open up the discussion, to understand each other\u2019s concerns more straight forwardly rather than in terms of caricature, that\u2019s a helpful thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

He recalls an invitation he received to participate in a debate at a local college at the invitation of a religion and philosophy professor. He said he realized it was unwise to go into the debate \u201cthinking in terms of score cards \u2013 of something I\u2019ve got to win \u2013 that I\u2019ve got to win the debate, I\u2019ve got to win, I\u2019ve got to triumph over this person\u2019s ideology or position.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat Jesus models and what the New Testament teaches is influence.\u201d<\/p>\n

He points to the early days of Christianity \u2013 the years of terrible persecution of Christians.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook at the early church,\u201d says Daly. \u201cThe message then was convincing Rome that Christianity was a good thing, such as the way that Jesus elevated women, the way that the Christian community in the early first, second and third centuries developed hospitals and charities and orphanages.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey did the things we call orthopraxy<\/em> \u2013 the doing of the word. They did those things out of their love for Christ which benefited all. It was so shocking to the culture of that day. But it was Christians\u2019 humanity that it caught their attention.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Romans found themselves asking, \u201cWell, why do these Christians love the way they do? Why do they go and care for the downtrodden. Why do they reach out to the sick and contagious of Rome with no regard for their own well being? That puzzled the pagan Romans,\u201d says Daly.<\/p>\n

Should Christians just withdraw from the political arena?<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s helpful to the culture,\u201d he responds. \u201cThere are two camps \u2013 those who would withdraw from debate and instead plan with types of compromise or some kind of understanding.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen there are those who believe it\u2019s all or nothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
From his Colorado Springs headquarters, Daly looks to the future<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cI think the healthy place is right in the center. If we withdraw we\u2019re doing ourselves and our culture a disservice.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut there again is the difficult balance. How do you stay engaged, yet have emotional distance? The Word is very clear that this is temporal, this is man\u2019s kingdom and that this will all be wrapped up in at some point in time.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod\u2019s kingdom is the eternal kingdom. Look at Jesus talking to Pontius Pilate or Paul talking to King Agrippa. There is such a calm peace and confidence in them. The attitude is \u2018Before you kill me, can I pray for you? I know where I\u2019m going after I die, but I don\u2019t think you know where you\u2019re going.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cToday, we lack that because I think we\u2019re putting an ordinate amount of trust in the political process. It will greatly disappoint us.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe know that all fall short \u2013 we\u2019re all sinners. I think that\u2019s the biggest problem that our faith plays out in the political arena. We set up really a difficult paradigm \u2013 a self perception that we\u2019re perfect and they\u2019re not. That\u2019s not true. We\u2019re all broken people. That\u2019s clear in scripture. We are all sinners saved by grace. Like Chuck Colson used to tell me, you don\u2019t get angry at a blind man who steps on your foot.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s true about spiritual blindness, such as the person who\u2019s involved in the abortion industry. They believe they\u2019re doing a good thing for humanity. They don\u2019t see that from a Christian point view, they are taking human life.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat compels me is to share the Gospel with people \u2013 even people who would disagree with me. I welcome the opportunity to open their eyes to the possibility that there is a God and that He cares for them. All I can tell you is what God has done in my life and what he has shown me \u2013 and what I have lived and what I read in the Scriptures. My enthusiasm is to share that with you.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m worried about when you get right down to it. I\u2019m worried about the <\/strong>barricade that\u2019s impenetrable on either side.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t really want to engage them. We don\u2019t want to talk with them.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t want to talk with us.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s unfortunate, because the way hearts are changed is clear engagement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe bigger question,\u201d says Daly, \u201cis the really difficult balance of \u2018How do we participate in a democracy within the environment that we live in today?\u2019 Scripture says time is winding down. We\u2019re in the End Times. God wants us to have a Stephen-like attitude. Can we honestly say, \u2018Don\u2019t hold this sin against them\u2019? How often do we say that after an argument or debate?<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to understand that we\u2019re not here to win. We\u2019re here to influence as much as possible the heart to the listener.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt might be a little bit, it might be nothing, or it might be remarkable.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe church and the claims of Christ and the Gospel are as relevant as they were 40 or 50 years ago. But I think younger Christians look at older Christians and think all we want to do is pound down someone\u2019s throat the idea of righteousness.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need balance. When we strike it, standing for truth with Christ\u2019s heart, all people are attracted to it, both young and old. I don\u2019t think we should bend in principle.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we have to be mindful of the way in which we reach out and the tone with which we do it. If we\u2019re simply politically partisan, we should just become conservative radio talk show hosts.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Lord calls us to something far more.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe calls us to the transcendent values found in the Bible.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a vision worth refocusing on.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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