{"id":35,"date":"2010-09-22T13:28:53","date_gmt":"2010-09-22T13:28:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/09\/fogwine-fear-of-getting-what-is-not-enjoyed.html"},"modified":"2010-09-22T13:28:53","modified_gmt":"2010-09-22T13:28:53","slug":"fogwine-fear-of-getting-what-is-not-enjoyed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/09\/fogwine-fear-of-getting-what-is-not-enjoyed.html","title":{"rendered":"Wisdom Wednesday :: FOGWINE: Fear of Getting What is Not Enjoyed"},"content":{"rendered":"

In a previous entry we explored FOMO: Fear of Missing Out<\/a>. Today we’ll explore its counterpart, FOGWINE: Fear of Getting What is not Enjoyed. <\/p>\n

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FOGWINE explains much of the Second Noble Truth — the cause of suffering, anguish, and pervasive dissatisfaction. <\/div>\n
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\"Flynndog_2.jpg\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Fear suggests that the emotional brain is being activated. It’s job is to protect us from danger. In the old days of humanity 50,000 years ago these dangers were limited to things like predators and starvation. Today, however, our emotional brain is protecting us from the “danger” of not getting what we want. <\/div>\n
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This is, perhaps, not the best use for this system. Off-label use of the emotional brain can lead to the frequent flush of stress response system. We feel as though we are being threatened, but in the case of FOGWINE it’s hard to pinpoint what the fear is about because its about something that might occur in the future.<\/div>\n
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I might not get what I want; I might be uncomfortable; I might be disappointed, let down, or not get my needs meet; I might have to deal with an unpleasant emotion, a discomfort, a pain; I might have to deal with disapproval, criticism, or judgment from someone else. The list goes on. <\/div>\n
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The underlying formula seems to be, “If I get what I don’t want, I can’t be OK.” Or put another way, “I can only be OK if I get what I want and don’t get what I don’t want.” Since we can’t control many of these outcomes, we set ourselves up for a lot of anguish, suffering, and dissatisfaction. At some basic level we may harbor a pervasive feeling that we are not “OK”<\/div>\n
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That’s a crazy way to live. Instead we can look within our experience to see if this contingency is active. Likely it is in some form. Mindfulness can help us to see how we construct this contingency and to deconstruct it. Perhaps we can issue some encouragement, “Hey, I’ll be OK no matter what happens.” Then we can turn our attention away from stories about how awful things are or might be to an open curiosity to what is occurring in the moment. <\/div>\n
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This can lead us from insanity towards sanity and a sense of ease of being in the world.<\/div>\n
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(original photography by Arnie Kozak)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a previous entry we explored FOMO: Fear of Missing Out. Today we’ll explore its counterpart, FOGWINE: Fear of Getting What is not Enjoyed.  FOGWINE explains much of the Second Noble Truth — the cause of suffering, anguish, and pervasive dissatisfaction.  Fear suggests that the emotional brain is being activated. It’s job is to protect…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":268,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddha-101","category-mindfulnesss"],"yoast_head":"\nWisdom Wednesday :: FOGWINE: Fear of Getting What is Not Enjoyed - Mindfulness Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/09\/fogwine-fear-of-getting-what-is-not-enjoyed.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wisdom Wednesday :: FOGWINE: Fear of Getting What is Not Enjoyed - Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In a previous entry we explored FOMO: Fear of Missing Out. 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Dr. Kozak's ability to translate ancient healing traditions into pragmatic applications suitable for modern lifestyles through the use of metaphors have made him a strong voice in healthcare and business. Beginning with a journey to India in the 80\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where he took the Bodhisattva vows from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Arnie Dr. Kozak began his lifelong practice in mindfulness meditation. Intent on finding a way to bring the practical healing attributes of mindfulness he began incorporating these techniques in his private practice. In 2002 Dr. Kozak created Exquisite Mind in Burlington, Vermont as a vehicle that could expand his wisdom to larger audiences beyond individual psychotherapy to professionals and corporations, health care providers, public groups and, most recently with Exquisite Mind Golf, amateur and professional golfers. His award-winning new book, Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness (Wisdom Publications, 2009) is a thoughtful, funny, and inspiring translation of mindfulness practice through the inventive use of metaphor applicable to our daily lives. In addition to his work with Exquisite Mind, Arnie Kozak, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist\u00e2\u20ac\u201dDoctorate has been a Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Vermont and is a Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry and Medicine, University of Vermont College of Medicine. He has studied and practiced clinical psychology, meditation, and yoga for more than 25 years. He has studied with several meditation masters, including S. N. Goenka, Larry Rosenberg, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. After receiving his bachelors degree with honors from Tufts University, he was awarded a Presidential Fellowship to get his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University at Buffalo. 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