{"id":3271,"date":"2013-09-20T13:39:38","date_gmt":"2013-09-20T17:39:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/?p=3271"},"modified":"2013-09-20T13:39:38","modified_gmt":"2013-09-20T17:39:38","slug":"i-me-and-mine-doggie-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2013\/09\/i-me-and-mine-doggie-style.html","title":{"rendered":"I, Me, and Mine Doggie Style"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Harley_Sumi_water\"<\/a>Watching my dogs swim out for a thrown stick made me think of one the Buddha’s classic teachings: I, me, and mine. They swim competitively out. There appears to be some motivation to get there first. But regardless of who gets there first, the other is lying in wait to get a share of the stick. The sense of what is “mine” seems to be different for them. It’s a more fluid and playful affair.<\/p>\n

The Buddha taught that “I, me, and mine” were the sources of great suffering. These are are narration, identification, and ownership. Let’s look at these one by one.<\/p>\n

“I” comes from placing ourselves in stories. We are the central character of the Me Movie as I presented in Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness. These self-referential stories are the chief product of what neuroscientists call the default mode network of the brain. If all goes well, these movies are romances, comedies, or adventures. If all does not go well, which is mostly the case it seems, these movies can be tragedies and painful thrillers.<\/p>\n

“Me” suggests identification. There is someone who has these experience–Me! Something happens to<\/em> me instead of me being the happening itself. Once we identify with what we experience, ownership comes next.<\/p>\n

“Mine” takes ownership of the experience, makes it your own. Identification and ownership are inexplicably intertwined and can’t happen without the narration of I. If we own the experience instead of being the experience, all sort of things can go wrong: dissatisfaction, disappointment, anguish, misery, stress, and suffering to name just a few.<\/p>\n

The dogs are immune from these particular afflictions, at least when it comes to fetching a stick in water. “Mine” arises as the first one grabs the stick (mostly Harley this morning) and that quickly gives rise to “we” as they paddle to shore together. After some romping in the woods they return without the stick (much to my consternation; I have to bring a bunch of sticks). No sense of ownership, identification, or narration. They are on to the next moment and when that moment involves another stick they happily swim out again. When it doesn’t they happily move with that.<\/p>\n

We can learn something from them. While we can’t abandon all sense of story and ownership, we can certainly engage in much, much less of it. The next time you find yourself grasping after I, me, and mine, see if you can move into the flow of now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Watching my dogs swim out for a thrown stick made me think of one the Buddha’s classic teachings: I, me, and mine. They swim competitively out. There appears to be some motivation to get there first. 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Dr. Kozak's ability to translate ancient healing traditions into pragmatic applications suitable for modern lifestyles through the use of metaphors have made him a strong voice in healthcare and business. Beginning with a journey to India in the 80\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where he took the Bodhisattva vows from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Arnie Dr. Kozak began his lifelong practice in mindfulness meditation. Intent on finding a way to bring the practical healing attributes of mindfulness he began incorporating these techniques in his private practice. In 2002 Dr. Kozak created Exquisite Mind in Burlington, Vermont as a vehicle that could expand his wisdom to larger audiences beyond individual psychotherapy to professionals and corporations, health care providers, public groups and, most recently with Exquisite Mind Golf, amateur and professional golfers. His award-winning new book, Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness (Wisdom Publications, 2009) is a thoughtful, funny, and inspiring translation of mindfulness practice through the inventive use of metaphor applicable to our daily lives. In addition to his work with Exquisite Mind, Arnie Kozak, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist\u00e2\u20ac\u201dDoctorate has been a Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Vermont and is a Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry and Medicine, University of Vermont College of Medicine. He has studied and practiced clinical psychology, meditation, and yoga for more than 25 years. He has studied with several meditation masters, including S. N. Goenka, Larry Rosenberg, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. After receiving his bachelors degree with honors from Tufts University, he was awarded a Presidential Fellowship to get his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University at Buffalo. He completed his training as a Psychological Fellow at the Harvard Medical School. Prior to founding the Exquisite Mind in 2002, Arnie worked ten years in the private sector for the PKC Corporation consulting on mental health content for this revolutionary software company.","sameAs":["http:\/\/exquisitemind.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/author\/akozak"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/268"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3271"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3275,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3271\/revisions\/3275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}