{"id":2530,"date":"2012-07-29T14:43:28","date_gmt":"2012-07-29T18:43:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/?p=2530"},"modified":"2012-07-29T14:43:28","modified_gmt":"2012-07-29T18:43:28","slug":"reality-is-unforgivingly-complex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2012\/07\/reality-is-unforgivingly-complex.html","title":{"rendered":"“Reality is Unforgivingly Complex”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I came across the title quotation–“reality is unforgivingly complex”–reading Anne Lamott’s bestselling book, Bird by Bird<\/em><\/a>. This observation will be the basis for my reflections today. What does she mean by this?\u00a0As a shorthand, we’ll think of reality as the things that happen to us–weather, accidents, medical events, how dinner turns out.<\/p>\n

I think we’d like things to be simpler, clean-cut, black and white, yet how often are things actually so? We lump things into categories for efficiency, yet the things we lump are unique. We overlook the differences for the sake of simplicity. Maybe the differences don’t matter, but in some cases–especially when it comes to our relationships and emotions–it does matter.<\/p>\n

Whatever experience you are having right now is one that you’ve never had before. Perhaps you’ve had a similar one, but not this exact one. Can you find the singular aspects of what this moment provides?<\/p>\n

Mindfulness helps us to see that reality is complex, and unforgvingly so. Things happen that we don’t want to happen, we make mistakes, we lose things dear to us. The world is a mess, environmentally, politically, and economically. Polticians reduce the complexity to sound bytes. Something important gets lost in the process.<\/p>\n

Reality is unforgiving because it does not care about us. Of course, we are part of reality, it does not stand outside of us. We participate in the unfolding of reality. Life is a mix of randomness and intention. Mindfulness will help us to have more intention and less randomness (or at least randomness that can be averted through thoughtful action). When reality intrudes itself upon us without compunction, mindfulness will help us to cope with the consequences of this moment.<\/p>\n

Mindfulness can help us to be okay, no matter what is happening, no matter how “unforgivingly complex” reality might be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I came across the title quotation–“reality is unforgivingly complex”–reading Anne Lamott’s bestselling book, Bird by Bird. This observation will be the basis for my reflections today. What does she mean by this?\u00a0As a shorthand, we’ll think of reality as the things that happen to us–weather, accidents, medical events, how dinner turns out. 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Dr. Kozak's ability to translate ancient healing traditions into pragmatic applications suitable for modern lifestyles through the use of metaphors have made him a strong voice in healthcare and business. Beginning with a journey to India in the 80\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where he took the Bodhisattva vows from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Arnie Dr. Kozak began his lifelong practice in mindfulness meditation. Intent on finding a way to bring the practical healing attributes of mindfulness he began incorporating these techniques in his private practice. In 2002 Dr. Kozak created Exquisite Mind in Burlington, Vermont as a vehicle that could expand his wisdom to larger audiences beyond individual psychotherapy to professionals and corporations, health care providers, public groups and, most recently with Exquisite Mind Golf, amateur and professional golfers. His award-winning new book, Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness (Wisdom Publications, 2009) is a thoughtful, funny, and inspiring translation of mindfulness practice through the inventive use of metaphor applicable to our daily lives. In addition to his work with Exquisite Mind, Arnie Kozak, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist\u00e2\u20ac\u201dDoctorate has been a Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Vermont and is a Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry and Medicine, University of Vermont College of Medicine. He has studied and practiced clinical psychology, meditation, and yoga for more than 25 years. He has studied with several meditation masters, including S. N. Goenka, Larry Rosenberg, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. After receiving his bachelors degree with honors from Tufts University, he was awarded a Presidential Fellowship to get his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University at Buffalo. He completed his training as a Psychological Fellow at the Harvard Medical School. Prior to founding the Exquisite Mind in 2002, Arnie worked ten years in the private sector for the PKC Corporation consulting on mental health content for this revolutionary software company.","sameAs":["http:\/\/exquisitemind.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/author\/akozak"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/268"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2530"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2532,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530\/revisions\/2532"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}