{"id":1803,"date":"2011-11-12T10:22:16","date_gmt":"2011-11-12T15:22:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/?p=1803"},"modified":"2011-11-12T10:22:16","modified_gmt":"2011-11-12T15:22:16","slug":"acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html","title":{"rendered":"Acceptance is Mindfulness; Mindfulness is Acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Acceptance is, in many ways, a synonym for mindfulness. When we are mindful, when we give our full attention to whatever is happening now, and can do so without the usual storytelling, pushing, pulling, and judgment then we are here \u2013 in acceptance.<\/p>\n

But this is not where we typically are. It is rare that we give our full attention to what is happening now. We give partial attention. The rest of our attention is somewhere else. It might be on something related to what is happening now and in that case we find ourselves pushing against and pulling away from the experience. We have opinions, judgments, and desire to make things slightly different (or very different) or to have things to continue as they are.<\/p>\n

Or our attention may be somewhere else thinking about what\u2019s for dinner, or reviewing a past conversation. Wherever attention is, it is not here fully experiencing what is present in this moment.<\/p>\n

There is a basic choice we have in every moment of our existence. I can be with whatever is happening or I can want to change it. Our felt need to change is automatic, reflexive, and, perhaps even, compulsive. It may be relentless, like a comfort seeking missile, we seek to tweak, adjust, and modify each circumstance. Or, in the rare moments when things feel perfect, we worry about losing the experience.<\/p>\n

Acceptance is not acquiescence. We find ourselves in many situations that are not ideal. In some of these situations, there is a reasonable action that we can take to change the situation. If you are sitting in a room and it is hot, get up and open the window, if that is a feasible thing to do in that moment. There is no particular virtue to remaining hot when a simple action can change that. However, there are many situations in life where a simple action is neither feasible nor possible. You are outside waiting at a bus stop and it is hot. There is nothing that you can. You are stuck waiting. In this situation, acceptance is an option; resistance is another option.<\/p>\n

When we resist we are complaining about the situation. \u201cI hate being hot.\u201d \u201cI wish it was winter\u201d (and when it was winter the wish was for summer). The complaint creates a boundary of tension between ourselves and the experience we are having in that moment. Dissatisfaction, anguish, even outright suffering can arise from that tension. It takes energy to maintain that tension. Our sense of \u201cme\u201d is pushing against the reality of the situation. \u201cI don\u2019t want this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wisdom says, Hot Buddha sweats; cold Buddha shivers. When you are hot, you sweat. That\u2019s an experience<\/em>, and as long as you are not at risk for heat exhaustion, it is not a problem unless you make it into one. Yet, how often do we make it into a problem? How many moments of our lives involve this pushing against what is so, whishing it was somehow different? A lot. Most of them, I venture to guess.<\/p>\n

Acceptance is a profound, perhaps the most profound, way of being in the world. It is the raw, unadulterated experience of our life in this moment. It is the only way to meet life as it is; everything else is fantasy, imagination, and hope.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Acceptance is, in many ways, a synonym for mindfulness. When we are mindful, when we give our full attention to whatever is happening now, and can do so without the usual storytelling, pushing, pulling, and judgment then we are here \u2013 in acceptance. But this is not where we typically are. It is rare that…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":268,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,9],"tags":[309,39,21],"class_list":["post-1803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddha-101","category-mindfulnesss","tag-acceptance","tag-buddha","tag-mindfulness"],"yoast_head":"\nAcceptance is Mindfulness; Mindfulness is Acceptance - Mindfulness Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Acceptance is Mindfulness; Mindfulness is Acceptance - Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Acceptance is, in many ways, a synonym for mindfulness. When we are mindful, when we give our full attention to whatever is happening now, and can do so without the usual storytelling, pushing, pulling, and judgment then we are here \u2013 in acceptance. But this is not where we typically are. It is rare that…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-11-12T15:22:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/files\/2011\/11\/BS13031-300x198.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dr. Arnie Kozak\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Acceptance is Mindfulness; Mindfulness is Acceptance - Mindfulness Matters","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Acceptance is Mindfulness; Mindfulness is Acceptance - Mindfulness Matters","og_description":"Acceptance is, in many ways, a synonym for mindfulness. When we are mindful, when we give our full attention to whatever is happening now, and can do so without the usual storytelling, pushing, pulling, and judgment then we are here \u2013 in acceptance. But this is not where we typically are. It is rare that…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html","og_site_name":"Mindfulness Matters","article_published_time":"2011-11-12T15:22:16+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/files\/2011\/11\/BS13031-300x198.jpg"}],"author":"Dr. Arnie Kozak","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html","name":"Acceptance is Mindfulness; Mindfulness is Acceptance - Mindfulness Matters","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/files\/2011\/11\/BS13031-300x198.jpg","datePublished":"2011-11-12T15:22:16+00:00","dateModified":"2011-11-12T15:22:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/#\/schema\/person\/5f92cf2ae15fbe04e74ca47527ac68d8"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/files\/2011\/11\/BS13031-300x198.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/files\/2011\/11\/BS13031-300x198.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2011\/11\/acceptance-is-mindfulness-mindfulness-is-acceptance.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Acceptance is Mindfulness; Mindfulness is Acceptance"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/","name":"Mindfulness Matters","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Arnie Kozak","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/#\/schema\/person\/5f92cf2ae15fbe04e74ca47527ac68d8","name":"Dr. Arnie Kozak","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/6ab\/6abd6f3205265768510a13d66ac2aff7x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/6ab\/6abd6f3205265768510a13d66ac2aff7x96.jpg","caption":"Dr. Arnie Kozak"},"description":"Recognized as an innovator in the field of mindfulness-based psychology, Dr. Arnie Kozak is northern New England's leading expert in the field. Dr. Kozak's ability to translate ancient healing traditions into pragmatic applications suitable for modern lifestyles through the use of metaphors have made him a strong voice in healthcare and business. Beginning with a journey to India in the 80\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where he took the Bodhisattva vows from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Arnie Dr. Kozak began his lifelong practice in mindfulness meditation. Intent on finding a way to bring the practical healing attributes of mindfulness he began incorporating these techniques in his private practice. In 2002 Dr. Kozak created Exquisite Mind in Burlington, Vermont as a vehicle that could expand his wisdom to larger audiences beyond individual psychotherapy to professionals and corporations, health care providers, public groups and, most recently with Exquisite Mind Golf, amateur and professional golfers. His award-winning new book, Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness (Wisdom Publications, 2009) is a thoughtful, funny, and inspiring translation of mindfulness practice through the inventive use of metaphor applicable to our daily lives. In addition to his work with Exquisite Mind, Arnie Kozak, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist\u00e2\u20ac\u201dDoctorate has been a Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Vermont and is a Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry and Medicine, University of Vermont College of Medicine. He has studied and practiced clinical psychology, meditation, and yoga for more than 25 years. He has studied with several meditation masters, including S. N. Goenka, Larry Rosenberg, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. After receiving his bachelors degree with honors from Tufts University, he was awarded a Presidential Fellowship to get his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University at Buffalo. He completed his training as a Psychological Fellow at the Harvard Medical School. Prior to founding the Exquisite Mind in 2002, Arnie worked ten years in the private sector for the PKC Corporation consulting on mental health content for this revolutionary software company.","sameAs":["http:\/\/exquisitemind.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/author\/akozak"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1803","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/268"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1803"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1803\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1806,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1803\/revisions\/1806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1803"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1803"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1803"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}