{"id":176,"date":"2010-11-15T08:51:21","date_gmt":"2010-11-15T08:51:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/11\/metaphor-monday-drinking-saltwater.html"},"modified":"2010-11-15T08:51:21","modified_gmt":"2010-11-15T08:51:21","slug":"metaphor-monday-drinking-saltwater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/11\/metaphor-monday-drinking-saltwater.html","title":{"rendered":"Metaphor Monday :: Drinking Saltwater"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"BS15027.JPG\"<\/a><\/span>Pema Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n<\/span> said, “Since impermanence defies our
\nattempts to hold onto anything, outer pleasures can never bring lasting joy.
\nEven when we manage to get short-term gratification, it doesn’t heal our
\nlonging for happiness; it only enhances our shenpa<\/i> (getting hooked). As
\nmy teacher Dzigar Kongtrul once said, “Trying to find lasting happiness from
\nrelationships or possessions is like drinking salt water to quench your
\nthirst.”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This quote embodies two metaphors — getting hooked and drinking saltwater. Today I’ll focus on the saltwater. What’s wrong with trying to find lasting happiness from relationships or possessions? This is a point of the Buddha’s teachings that is often misunderstood as being against pleasure. It’s really all about our relationship to pleasure and our expectations around it. <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
The operative term here is lasting<\/i>. The problem is that nothing<\/i> lasts. Things are constantly changing. Our moods, appetites, and perceptions are constantly changing. Phenomena are constantly changing. The earth revolves around the sun, the weather, and countless events change in every moment. We breathe change in every moment. Life is a process<\/i> not an outcome<\/i>. It’s a ceaseless dance. <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
And if we relate to it as an outcome rather than a process we are bound to be frustrated. <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
The Young Rascals explored this issue in their hit “How can I be sure?”<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

How can I be sure
<\/span>In a world that’s constantly changin’?
<\/span>How can I be sure
<\/span>Where I stand with you?<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/span>
<\/span>Whenever I
<\/span>Whenever I am away from you
<\/span>I wanna die
<\/span>’cause you know I wanna stay with you<\/span>
<\/span>
<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How do I know?
<\/span>Maybe you’re trying to use me
<\/span>Flying too high can confuse me
<\/span>Touch me but don’t take me down<\/span>
<\/span>
<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Whenever I
<\/span>Whenever I am away from you
<\/span>My alibi is tellin’ people I don’t care for you
<\/span>Maybe I’m just hanging around
<\/span>With my head up, upside down
<\/span>It’s a pity
<\/span>I can’t seem to find someone
<\/span>Who’s as pretty ‘n’ lovely as you<\/span>
<\/span>
<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How can I be sure
<\/span>I really, really, really, wanna kno-o-ow
<\/span>I really, really, really, wanna kno-o-ow<\/span>
<\/span>
<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How’s the weather?
<\/span>Weather or not, we’re together
<\/span>Together we’ll see it much better
<\/span>I love you, I love you forever
<\/span>You know where I can be found<\/span>
<\/span>
<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How can I be sure
<\/span>In a world that’s constantly changing?
<\/span>How can I be sure?<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ll be sure with you.<\/span><\/span> <\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
This song embodies the pangs of attachment. It concludes with a glimpse of the dharma, and I take the liberty to paraphrase:<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
“How can I be sure in a world that’s constantly changing? How can I be sure?” “Well I can’t; I can’t make the impermanent permanent. But what I can do is to find that surety within myself. To connect to the thread of this moment playing through my breath. I can find peace in the process<\/i> of loving with all its vicissitudes and challenges.” <\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
In this moment, the suffering lover becomes wise, he finds love in being<\/i> rather than possessing<\/i>. This wisdom desalinates the water making it drinkable, quenching a deep thirst. <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pema Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n said, “Since impermanence defies our attempts to hold onto anything, outer pleasures can never bring lasting joy. Even when we manage to get short-term gratification, it doesn’t heal our longing for happiness; it only enhances our shenpa (getting hooked). As my teacher Dzigar Kongtrul once said, “Trying to find lasting happiness from relationships or possessions…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":268,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-metaphors-for-mindfulness","category-mindfulnesss","category-poetry"],"yoast_head":"\nMetaphor Monday :: Drinking Saltwater - Mindfulness Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/11\/metaphor-monday-drinking-saltwater.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Metaphor Monday :: Drinking Saltwater - Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Pema Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n said, “Since impermanence defies our attempts to hold onto anything, outer pleasures can never bring lasting joy. 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Dr. Kozak's ability to translate ancient healing traditions into pragmatic applications suitable for modern lifestyles through the use of metaphors have made him a strong voice in healthcare and business. Beginning with a journey to India in the 80\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where he took the Bodhisattva vows from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Arnie Dr. Kozak began his lifelong practice in mindfulness meditation. Intent on finding a way to bring the practical healing attributes of mindfulness he began incorporating these techniques in his private practice. In 2002 Dr. Kozak created Exquisite Mind in Burlington, Vermont as a vehicle that could expand his wisdom to larger audiences beyond individual psychotherapy to professionals and corporations, health care providers, public groups and, most recently with Exquisite Mind Golf, amateur and professional golfers. His award-winning new book, Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness (Wisdom Publications, 2009) is a thoughtful, funny, and inspiring translation of mindfulness practice through the inventive use of metaphor applicable to our daily lives. In addition to his work with Exquisite Mind, Arnie Kozak, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist\u00e2\u20ac\u201dDoctorate has been a Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Vermont and is a Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry and Medicine, University of Vermont College of Medicine. He has studied and practiced clinical psychology, meditation, and yoga for more than 25 years. He has studied with several meditation masters, including S. N. Goenka, Larry Rosenberg, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. After receiving his bachelors degree with honors from Tufts University, he was awarded a Presidential Fellowship to get his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University at Buffalo. He completed his training as a Psychological Fellow at the Harvard Medical School. Prior to founding the Exquisite Mind in 2002, Arnie worked ten years in the private sector for the PKC Corporation consulting on mental health content for this revolutionary software company.","sameAs":["http:\/\/exquisitemind.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/author\/akozak"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/268"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=176"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}