{"id":140,"date":"2010-10-06T13:35:59","date_gmt":"2010-10-06T13:35:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/10\/wisdom-wednesday-dismantling-the-work-life-balance-myth.html"},"modified":"2010-10-06T13:35:59","modified_gmt":"2010-10-06T13:35:59","slug":"wisdom-wednesday-dismantling-the-work-life-balance-myth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/2010\/10\/wisdom-wednesday-dismantling-the-work-life-balance-myth.html","title":{"rendered":"Wisdom Wednesday :: Dismantling the Work-Life Balance Myth"},"content":{"rendered":"

In an age when the work week enroaches more and more into the hours of each day and even reaches its hand into weekends, holidays, and vacations the notion arises that we need to have good work-life “balance.” I would like to suggest, however, that work-life balance is a myth, and a dangerous one at that. <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\"flowers.jpg\"<\/p>\n

The term work-life implies a duality. Work is set against the rest of life. These are now in competition for our precious time and energy. If one wins, the other loses. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
However, life is a unity. Any separations we make are constructions, arbitrary boundaries drawn on the seamless fabric of life. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
An article from the New York Times from last October on integrating Mindfulness in Medicine (How Mindfulness Can Make for Better Doctors<\/a>) provides this example:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
\n

One night during my training, long after all the other doctors had fled the hospital, I found a senior surgeon still on the wards working on a patient note. He was a surgeon with extraordinary skill, a doctor of few words whose folksy quips had become the stuff of department legend. “I’m sorry you’re still stuck here,” I said, walking up to him.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

He looked up from the chart. “I’m not working tomorrow, so I’m just fine.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I had just reviewed the next day’s operating room schedule and knew he had a full day of cases. I began to contradict him, but he held his hand up to stop me.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

“Time in the O.R.,” he said with a broad grin, “is not work; it’s play.”<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

There is no duality for this surgeon, no opposition of forces. Work is play, and thereby presumably joyful.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
We spend approximately half of our waking life in the service of work and as suggested above that percentage continues to grow. <\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
David Whyte in his elegiac volume, The Three Marriages: Reimagining, Work, Self, and Relationship<\/a>, says<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
\n
“We are collectively exhausted because of our inability to hold
\ncompeting parts of ourselves together in a more integrated way. These hidden
\nhuman dynamics of integration are more of a conversation, more of a synthesis
\nand more of an almost religious and sometimes almost delirious quest for
\nmeaning than a simple attempt at daily ease and contentment. “<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

In his first book on working life, The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America<\/a>, he offered this bit of wisdom: 
\n“Human beings must, in a
\nsense, always, in order to create meaning, in order to create an ecology of belonging
\naround them, must bring the central questions of their life into whatever they
\nare doing most of the time.” <\/span>
\n Well, that would be work.  <\/span><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
The Buddha threw down the gauntlet challenging us to awaken. To be awake is not part-time or divided. It is always now and in every thing. No separation, no division, no preference. Instead, a stark, beautiful, and breath-taking (and breath-giving) engagement with being alive. <\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
Our challenge is to be awake on our way to work, while at work, and on our way home from work. Our challenge is strive towards being open, receptive, and truthful with each moment. <\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
Work is our life in this moment and we’d be best served not to squander it with wanting to be somewhere else. <\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
This is not to say that work can’t be difficult, miserable, or the wrong-fit for us. Obviously, we need to pay attention to this and make changes if necessary and possible. <\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
However, these difficulties can be calls to awakening. “How can I transcend myself in this moment?” “How can I get beyond my story of how awful things are?” “How can I find meaning and grace in what is happening now?”<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n
\n
\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Dr. Kozak's ability to translate ancient healing traditions into pragmatic applications suitable for modern lifestyles through the use of metaphors have made him a strong voice in healthcare and business. Beginning with a journey to India in the 80\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where he took the Bodhisattva vows from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Arnie Dr. Kozak began his lifelong practice in mindfulness meditation. Intent on finding a way to bring the practical healing attributes of mindfulness he began incorporating these techniques in his private practice. In 2002 Dr. Kozak created Exquisite Mind in Burlington, Vermont as a vehicle that could expand his wisdom to larger audiences beyond individual psychotherapy to professionals and corporations, health care providers, public groups and, most recently with Exquisite Mind Golf, amateur and professional golfers. His award-winning new book, Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness (Wisdom Publications, 2009) is a thoughtful, funny, and inspiring translation of mindfulness practice through the inventive use of metaphor applicable to our daily lives. In addition to his work with Exquisite Mind, Arnie Kozak, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist\u00e2\u20ac\u201dDoctorate has been a Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Vermont and is a Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry and Medicine, University of Vermont College of Medicine. He has studied and practiced clinical psychology, meditation, and yoga for more than 25 years. He has studied with several meditation masters, including S. N. Goenka, Larry Rosenberg, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. After receiving his bachelors degree with honors from Tufts University, he was awarded a Presidential Fellowship to get his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University at Buffalo. 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Prior to founding the Exquisite Mind in 2002, Arnie worked ten years in the private sector for the PKC Corporation consulting on mental health content for this revolutionary software company.","sameAs":["http:\/\/exquisitemind.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/author\/akozak"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/268"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=140"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/mindfulnessmatters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}