{"id":846,"date":"2009-08-10T04:01:43","date_gmt":"2009-08-10T04:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/markdroberts\/2009\/08\/god-will-wipe-away-our-tears-implications-section-4.html"},"modified":"2009-08-10T04:01:43","modified_gmt":"2009-08-10T04:01:43","slug":"god-will-wipe-away-our-tears-implications-section-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/2009\/08\/god-will-wipe-away-our-tears-implications-section-4.html","title":{"rendered":"God Will Wipe Away Our Tears: Implications (Section 4)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 4 of series: God Will Wipe Away Our Tears: Grief and the Christian Life
\n<\/em>Permalink for this post<\/a> \/ Permalink for this series<\/a>
\nSo far in this series I have been reflecting on some implications of the fact that, in the new creation, God will wipe away our tears. I have been asking and seeking to answer three questions:<\/p>\n

1. What does this reveal about life?
\n2. What does this reveal about how we\u2019re to live in the meanwhile?
\n3. What does this reveal about God?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In answer to question #1, the fact that God will someday wipe away our tears reveals that life on this side of the new creation will contain tears. Suffering, loss, and pain will be normal for us, even as they will be mixed with pleasure, gain, and joy.
\nMy answer to question #2 has contained two parts so far. The fact of future tear-wiping reveals that:<\/p>\n

a. We recognize the reality of pain and suffering.
\nb. We grieve differently.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As Christians, we are not surprised by the tragedies and tears of this life, though we do grieve them. Yet we grieve differently because our grief is awash in hope.
\nToday I want to continue to address the question, \u201cWhat does this reveal about how we\u2019re to live in the meanwhile?\u201d by focusing on how we should relate to others when they are grieving.<\/p>\n

c. We weep with those who weep. <\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I grew up in a family system that didn\u2019t have much room for tears. My mother, who was prone to cry when her emotions were stirred, even if it was by a Kodak commercial on television, was the brunt of consistent family ridicule. Even tears of joy made us uncomfortable as a family.
\nBut tears of sadness didn\u2019t have much place either. My mother\u2019s mother was surely one of the dominant influences in our family system. Her emotional motto was simple: \u201cMake somebody happy and you\u2019ll be happy too.\u201d I expect I heard this from her mouth probably a thousand times while growing up, literally. (That\u2019s about once a week during my childhood, a conservative guess.) If one of my sisters, for example, was sad in my grandmother\u2019s presence, my job was to \u201cCheer her up!\u201d This meant, not empathizing or sitting quietly with her, but rather acting silly and funny in her presence. Or it meant reminding her in a scolding tone to \u201cCount your blessings.\u201d (Photo: my grandparents with a younger and hairier me)
\nFor the most part, my church environment seemed to reiterate what I had learned at home. Sadness was something to be avoided. If we were with someone who was grieving, our job was to help them stop grieving. (In actuality, because we were uncomfortable with the whole experience of grief, we often left sad people alone.) There were exceptions to this \u201cCheer them up or ignore them\u201d mentality in my church experience, however. Once, when my mother was crying in the presence of Lloyd Ogilvie, our Senior Pastor at church, she apologized for her tears. \u201cMartha,\u201d he said in his sonorous baritone, \u201ctears are the lubrication of the Holy Spirit.\u201d Yet, even with Pastor Ogilvie weighing in on the benefit of tears, we still didn\u2019t stop teasing my mother for being over-lubricated by the Spirit.
\nAs I think back on my childhood and my early church experience, I can\u2019t quite figure out why we managed to ignore one of the clearest, simplest imperatives in the whole Bible. It comes in Romans 12, in a list of instructions for how we\u2019re to live with each other in the body of Christ. There we read, \u201cRejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep\u201d (12:15). The answer to the question of how we\u2019re to relate to those who grieve couldn\u2019t be any plainer. We\u2019re to weep with those who weep.
\nThis passage of Scripture, in harmony with many others, calls us to sympathize with those who are grieving. Sympathy, as you may know, comes from the Greek word sympatheia<\/em>, which means \u201cfeeling with\u201d someone. Sympathy with those who hurt is what Scripture calls us to in Romans 12:15.
\nNotice, however, that this verse goes beyond mere sympathy. We\u2019 not just to feel bad with people, but also to share in their expression of pain. We\u2019re to weep alongside those who weep. This suggests sympathy pervaded empathy, which is feeling what others are feeling. (For some odd reason, sympathy lost favor some years ago. I heard sympathy derided as superficial. Empathy, \u201cbeing able to feel what others are feeling\u201d became the summum bonum<\/em> of caring relationships. I think empathy is just great. But so is genuine sympathy.)
\nI don\u2019t think Romans 12:15 requires some new rule that compels us to cry with the crying. This, after all, might push us in the direction of superficial or even sham sympathy. There will be times when we actually weep with the weeping, and times when we don\u2019t. Some people, like my mother, and like me if I must be honest, seem to shed tears more easily than others. This has to do with our emotional wiring, not our biblical literalism.
\nSo, whether you actually weep with the weeping or not, you can choose to put yourself in place where such is possible. And this, I think, would be the main point of Romans 12:15. To weep with those who weep means getting close to them in their pain. It means feeling sympathy. It means opening our own hearts to the possibility of empathy, thus feeling the pain of a brother or sister. This might very well lead us to shed tears. But the tears are not the point. A deep, genuine \u201cbeing with in pain\u201d is the point.
\n\u201cIs this all?\u201d you might wonder. Are we merely to feel the pain of a sister or brother who is suffering? I\u2019ll answer this question in my next post.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Part 4 of series: God Will Wipe Away Our Tears: Grief and the Christian Life Permalink for this post \/ Permalink for this series So far in this series I have been reflecting on some implications of the fact that, in the new creation, God will wipe away our tears. I have been asking and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grief-and-christian-life"],"yoast_head":"\nGod Will Wipe Away Our Tears: Implications (Section 4) - Mark D. 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Roberts","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","caption":"Mark D. Roberts"},"description":"The Rev. Dr. Mark D. Roberts is a pastor, author, retreat leader, speaker, and blogger. Since October 2007 he has been the Senior Director and Scholar-in-Residence for Laity Lodge, a multifaceted ministry in the Hill Country of Texas. Before coming to Laity Lodge, he was for sixteen years the Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church in Irvine, California (a city in Orange County about forty miles south of Los Angeles). Before his time at Irvine Pres, Mark served on the staff of the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood as Associate Pastor of Education. (Thanks to Janel Pahl for taking the photo to the right.) Mark studied at Harvard University, receiving a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in the Study of Religion, and a Ph.D. in New Testament and Christian Origins. He has taught classes in New Testament for Fuller Theological Seminary and San Francisco Theological Seminary. Mark has written several books, including No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer (WaterBrook, 2005), Dare to Be True (WaterBrook, 2003), Jesus Revealed (WaterBrook, 2002), After \"I Believe\" (Baker, 2002), and Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther (Word, 1993). His most recent book is Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (Crossway, 2007). He is currently working on a commentary on Ephesians that will be published by Zondervan in 2014. Mark writes a devotional for The High Calling of Our Daily Work, a website associated with Laity Lodge. His \"Daily Reflections\" can be viewed online or sent as a daily email. If you wish to receive this email, just visit TheHighCalling.org and sign up. Mark serves on the editorial board of Worship Leader magazine, where he publishes articles and reviews, including his regular column \"Lyrical Poetry.\" Additionally, he has published dozens of articles in leading magazines and journals. He often speaks for churches and other Christian groups, and has been interviewed on over seventy-five radio programs nationwide. Mark is married to Linda, who is a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Spiritual Director, and a retreat speaker. They have two children, Nathan and Kara.For Publicity Photos and Bio Statements for Mark, please check here. Mark's Dossier Professional History: Senior Director and Scholar-in Residence, Laity Lodge, October 2007 to present. Senior Pastor Irvine Presbyterian Church, June 1991 to September 2007 Adjunct Assistant Professor Fuller Theological Seminary, 1994 to 2007. Courses: New Testament Theology and Exegesis. Adjunct Instructor San Francisco Theological Seminary, 1995 to 2001. Courses: New Testament Greek and Exegesis Associate Pastor of Education First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, 1987-1991 Teaching Fellow Harvard University, 1980-1983 Education: Ph.D. in the Study of Religion. Harvard University, 1992. Area: New Testament and Christian Origins M.A. in the Study of Religion Harvard University, 1984. A.B. magna cum laude in Philosophy Harvard University, 1979. Phi Beta Kappa; Danforth Fellowship Books: Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Crossway, 2007 No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer. WaterBrook, 2005 Dare to Be True: Living in the Freedom of Complete Honesty. WaterBrook, 2003. Jesus Revealed: Know Him Better to Love Him Better. WaterBrook, 2002. After \"I Believe\": Experiencing Authentic Christian Living. Baker, 2002. Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther in the Communicator's Commentary Series. Word, 1993. Contacting Mark: You can reach Mark at: E-mail: mark@markdroberts.com mroberts@laitylodge.org Phone: Laity Lodge: (830) 792-1216 Address: Laity Lodge 719 Earl Garrett Kerrville, TX 78028","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/author\/mroberts"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=846"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/846\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}