{"id":571,"date":"2008-10-23T01:01:19","date_gmt":"2008-10-23T01:01:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/markdroberts\/2008\/10\/sharing-our-struggles-and-successes-together.html"},"modified":"2008-10-23T01:01:19","modified_gmt":"2008-10-23T01:01:19","slug":"sharing-our-struggles-and-successes-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/2008\/10\/sharing-our-struggles-and-successes-together.html","title":{"rendered":"Sharing Our Struggles and Successes Together"},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 9 of series: The Church as the Body of Christ
\n<\/em>Permalink for this post<\/a> \/ Permalink for this series<\/a>
\nYesterday I began to explore the implications of the fact that the church is the body of Christ: “If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad” (1 Cor 12:26). If this is true, then we will share each other\u2019s pain, hurting along with our brothers and sisters. If you don\u2019t like to feel bad (and who does?), this isn\u2019t exactly good news. Yet through our mutual empathy we are able to care for each other.
\nFor me, there is an even more unsettling implication in Paul’s picture of the sympathetic body. If, when one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, then when I suffer, others will suffer along with me. Now I suppose some people might find this appealing. But I don\u2019t. I\u2019m the sort of person who likes to suffer alone. If I\u2019m sick, I don\u2019t want my wife and family to take care of me. I want them to leave me alone. That\u2019s how I\u2019m wired. So the idea of sharing my suffering with others isn\u2019t something I warm up to easily.
\nMoreover, Paul\u2019s description of the body implies that I must let the other parts know when I am suffering. If there’s one thing I like less than feeling pain, it’s admitting that pain to other people. I want to pretend that I am above it all, a man of strength and unwavering faith. I don’t want to be weak, or needy, or doubting, or vulnerable. And when I am any of these things, I don’t want to admit it. Yet God expects this sort of intimacy among members of Christ’s body. And he expects it, I fear, because he knows that we cannot bear our pain alone. We have been created and saved to share such things with others.
\nPerhaps you are not cursed with the need to pretend you’re invincible. If you can easily share your struggles with others, you are blessed. As a pastor, however, I know that my reticence to share my pain is not unique. Time and again members of my church in Irvine would go into the hospital without telling anyone because they were embarrassed. Or they would struggle silently as their family crumbled, but kept quiet because they felt so ashamed. When folks in my church hid their pain, I felt bugged me because they make it impossibly hard for the body to care for them as we should have done. But I certainly understood the fears that kept folks from admitting their struggles.
\nThere have been times in my life, however, when my suffering was so acute that I couldn’t hide it. Twenty two years ago my dad was dying of cancer, slowly and excruciatingly. In the last stages of his life, my family and I would nurse my dad, caring for him in ways that sapped every ounce of strength. The combination of sadness and stress was almost too much to bear. Thank God we did not have to bear it alone!
\nI was working at Hollywood Presbyterian Church during those years, the church where my parents had been active for two decades. During the last year of my father’s life, friends from church would check in with me and the rest of my family each day. They prayed without ceasing. The loved without expecting anything in return. In the last three months of my dad\u2019s life they brought dinners to my parents’ home, every night a new meal. The food ranged from perfectly cooked prime rib to take out fried chicken. But whatever the quality of the food, every meal conveyed love that fed our souls as well as our bodies.
\nExperiences like this one have made it a bit easier for me to share my sufferings with others, but only a bit!
\nLet me add that such intimacy will not happen, and is not meant to happen, in large groups. It’s impossible for groups larger than forty or fifty to suffer and rejoice together in the manner Paul envisions. If we are to be active members of the body of Christ, therefore, we must be in groups that are small enough to facilitate mutual sharing. Most churches have groups like this. They go by different names, such as: small groups, cell groups, growth groups, adult classes, home Bible studies, kinship groups, prayer groups, etc. Specific group functions differ from church to church. But most of these gatherings facilitate personal openness, providing a place for you to share your pains and your victories.
\nThere is a more appealing upside to Paul’s vision of body sympathy: if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. The Corinthians were mired in self-centered accomplishment, seeking to magnify their own honor, even at the expense of others. But God’s plan for the body of Christ eliminates all of this selfish striving. If we share all of life together, the honoring of a fellow body-part will feel like the honoring of ourselves. We will rejoice unselfconsciously with the one who has been honored.
\n<\/a>This kind of shared honor can be quite counter-cultural. I lived for sixteen plus years in Irvine, California, one of the most competitive environments you can find. Most Irvine parents are driven to make sure their kids are successful in every way: athletically, academically, socially, etc. (Sadly, they don\u2019t as often care about emotional or spiritual \u201csuccess.\u201d) As a result, parents can often feel competitive with others parents. They find ways to boast about their children\u2019s accomplishments as if achievement is a zero sum game. If my child wins, your\u2019s loses, and vice versa. (Photo: Moon rise over North Lake in Irvine, California)
\nBut at Irvine Presbyterian Church things were often quite different. As parents shared their struggles, as they prayed for each other and their children, competitiveness lessened. Sunday school teachers followed the \u201ccareers\u201d of their students, rejoicing when they grew up and got scholarships to college. When one child was honored, many parents rejoiced.
\nSo, though it can be scary to share your life with others, or to share deeply in their lives, the results of such vulnerability and connectedness are rich indeed. They can stretch those of us who prize independence and self-reliance. But when we truly share our lives together as members of the body of Christ, the rewards are plentiful.
\nIn my next post in this series I want to examine another implication of being the body of Christ together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Part 9 of series: The Church as the Body of Christ Permalink for this post \/ Permalink for this series Yesterday I began to explore the implications of the fact that the church is the body of Christ: “If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-as-body-of-christ"],"yoast_head":"\nSharing Our Struggles and Successes Together - Mark D. 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Roberts","description":"Mark D. Roberts: Thoughtfully Christian Reflections on Jesus, the Church, and the World","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/1ff094a57b7e41f534434b1723df3d73","name":"Mark D. Roberts","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","caption":"Mark D. Roberts"},"description":"The Rev. Dr. Mark D. Roberts is a pastor, author, retreat leader, speaker, and blogger. Since October 2007 he has been the Senior Director and Scholar-in-Residence for Laity Lodge, a multifaceted ministry in the Hill Country of Texas. Before coming to Laity Lodge, he was for sixteen years the Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church in Irvine, California (a city in Orange County about forty miles south of Los Angeles). Before his time at Irvine Pres, Mark served on the staff of the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood as Associate Pastor of Education. (Thanks to Janel Pahl for taking the photo to the right.) Mark studied at Harvard University, receiving a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in the Study of Religion, and a Ph.D. in New Testament and Christian Origins. He has taught classes in New Testament for Fuller Theological Seminary and San Francisco Theological Seminary. Mark has written several books, including No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer (WaterBrook, 2005), Dare to Be True (WaterBrook, 2003), Jesus Revealed (WaterBrook, 2002), After \"I Believe\" (Baker, 2002), and Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther (Word, 1993). His most recent book is Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (Crossway, 2007). He is currently working on a commentary on Ephesians that will be published by Zondervan in 2014. Mark writes a devotional for The High Calling of Our Daily Work, a website associated with Laity Lodge. His \"Daily Reflections\" can be viewed online or sent as a daily email. If you wish to receive this email, just visit TheHighCalling.org and sign up. Mark serves on the editorial board of Worship Leader magazine, where he publishes articles and reviews, including his regular column \"Lyrical Poetry.\" Additionally, he has published dozens of articles in leading magazines and journals. He often speaks for churches and other Christian groups, and has been interviewed on over seventy-five radio programs nationwide. Mark is married to Linda, who is a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Spiritual Director, and a retreat speaker. They have two children, Nathan and Kara.For Publicity Photos and Bio Statements for Mark, please check here. Mark's Dossier Professional History: Senior Director and Scholar-in Residence, Laity Lodge, October 2007 to present. Senior Pastor Irvine Presbyterian Church, June 1991 to September 2007 Adjunct Assistant Professor Fuller Theological Seminary, 1994 to 2007. Courses: New Testament Theology and Exegesis. Adjunct Instructor San Francisco Theological Seminary, 1995 to 2001. Courses: New Testament Greek and Exegesis Associate Pastor of Education First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, 1987-1991 Teaching Fellow Harvard University, 1980-1983 Education: Ph.D. in the Study of Religion. Harvard University, 1992. Area: New Testament and Christian Origins M.A. in the Study of Religion Harvard University, 1984. A.B. magna cum laude in Philosophy Harvard University, 1979. Phi Beta Kappa; Danforth Fellowship Books: Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Crossway, 2007 No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer. WaterBrook, 2005 Dare to Be True: Living in the Freedom of Complete Honesty. WaterBrook, 2003. Jesus Revealed: Know Him Better to Love Him Better. WaterBrook, 2002. After \"I Believe\": Experiencing Authentic Christian Living. Baker, 2002. Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther in the Communicator's Commentary Series. Word, 1993. Contacting Mark: You can reach Mark at: E-mail: mark@markdroberts.com mroberts@laitylodge.org Phone: Laity Lodge: (830) 792-1216 Address: Laity Lodge 719 Earl Garrett Kerrville, TX 78028","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/author\/mroberts"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}