{"id":52,"date":"2007-05-21T03:01:12","date_gmt":"2007-05-21T03:01:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/markdroberts\/2007\/05\/getting-older-what-goes-around-comes-around.html"},"modified":"2007-05-21T03:01:12","modified_gmt":"2007-05-21T03:01:12","slug":"getting-older-what-goes-around-comes-around","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/2007\/05\/getting-older-what-goes-around-comes-around.html","title":{"rendered":"Getting Older . . . What Goes Around Comes Around"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my last two posts I’ve shared some occasions on which I had to deal with the fact of my getting older, at least in appearance. When I was much younger I used to think of this as cool. I remember, for example, when I went to the movies with my friends during my high school years. We all asked for student rates. My friends got their discounts without question. The ticket salesperson made me show my student ID because she thought I was well beyond high school age. Back then, this was great. But now, well, it’s a little different.
\nI’ve always been careful as a pastor not to insult people in my flock. (Good plan!) Once, and only once, did I ask a member of my flock when her baby was due, only to hear that she was not pregnant. Now I don’t mention pregnancy to a woman unless she’s fully in labor.
\nOne of my most awkward moments as a pastor came many years ago with a woman I’ll call Shirley. I didn’t know how old she was, but I figured she must have been around the same age as her husband Charles. They both looked to be about 65, as near as I could tell, although Charles might have been a couple of years younger.
\nOne time I was talking with Shirley about her experiences in college. I asked, “Did you meet Charles while in college?”
\n“Yes,” I did she answered.
\n“Oh,” I continued, innocently enough, “were you and he in the same class at school?”
\nShirley’s eyes darkened and the edges of her mouth dropped ominously. “No, we were not!” she said with an angry tone. “Charles is fifteen years older than I am!”
\nYou know, there’s just not much that can be said at this point. Less is better, I think. I apologized without further explanation. I avoided obvious gaffs like, “Oh, you and he look to be the same age.” But there was no escaping the fact that I had stuck my foot into my mouth and chomped down hard.
\nBy God’s grace, Shirley never held my misjudgment against me, at least as far as I know. She remained a good friend. And I learned never to say anything that suggests to any human being how old he or she might be, unless I’m talking to kids, when I always over-estimate their ages because they seem to like it.
\nI’ve wondered sometimes if having McDonald’s employees give me the senior discount is retribution for my insult to Shirley. You know, what does around comes around.
\nAm I going to put up a picture of Shirley and Charles? To quote Javert, “You must think me mad!” But their situation reminds me of one of the most famous of American paintings, American Gothic<\/em> by Grant Wood. I had always thought that this painting was meant to represent a husband and wife who, obviously, have quite a large age spread between them. I learned, however, that Wood intended the characters in the picture to be a farmer and his unmarried daughter. In fact<\/a>, those who posed for the painting were Wood’s dentist (62 years old) and sister (30 years old).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my last two posts I’ve shared some occasions on which I had to deal with the fact of my getting older, at least in appearance. When I was much younger I used to think of this as cool. I remember, for example, when I went to the movies with my friends during my high…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-52","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holy-week-easter"],"yoast_head":"\nGetting Older . . . What Goes Around Comes Around - Mark D. 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Roberts","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","caption":"Mark D. Roberts"},"description":"The Rev. Dr. Mark D. Roberts is a pastor, author, retreat leader, speaker, and blogger. Since October 2007 he has been the Senior Director and Scholar-in-Residence for Laity Lodge, a multifaceted ministry in the Hill Country of Texas. Before coming to Laity Lodge, he was for sixteen years the Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church in Irvine, California (a city in Orange County about forty miles south of Los Angeles). Before his time at Irvine Pres, Mark served on the staff of the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood as Associate Pastor of Education. (Thanks to Janel Pahl for taking the photo to the right.) Mark studied at Harvard University, receiving a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in the Study of Religion, and a Ph.D. in New Testament and Christian Origins. He has taught classes in New Testament for Fuller Theological Seminary and San Francisco Theological Seminary. Mark has written several books, including No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer (WaterBrook, 2005), Dare to Be True (WaterBrook, 2003), Jesus Revealed (WaterBrook, 2002), After \"I Believe\" (Baker, 2002), and Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther (Word, 1993). His most recent book is Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (Crossway, 2007). He is currently working on a commentary on Ephesians that will be published by Zondervan in 2014. Mark writes a devotional for The High Calling of Our Daily Work, a website associated with Laity Lodge. His \"Daily Reflections\" can be viewed online or sent as a daily email. If you wish to receive this email, just visit TheHighCalling.org and sign up. Mark serves on the editorial board of Worship Leader magazine, where he publishes articles and reviews, including his regular column \"Lyrical Poetry.\" Additionally, he has published dozens of articles in leading magazines and journals. He often speaks for churches and other Christian groups, and has been interviewed on over seventy-five radio programs nationwide. Mark is married to Linda, who is a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Spiritual Director, and a retreat speaker. They have two children, Nathan and Kara.For Publicity Photos and Bio Statements for Mark, please check here. Mark's Dossier Professional History: Senior Director and Scholar-in Residence, Laity Lodge, October 2007 to present. Senior Pastor Irvine Presbyterian Church, June 1991 to September 2007 Adjunct Assistant Professor Fuller Theological Seminary, 1994 to 2007. Courses: New Testament Theology and Exegesis. Adjunct Instructor San Francisco Theological Seminary, 1995 to 2001. Courses: New Testament Greek and Exegesis Associate Pastor of Education First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, 1987-1991 Teaching Fellow Harvard University, 1980-1983 Education: Ph.D. in the Study of Religion. Harvard University, 1992. Area: New Testament and Christian Origins M.A. in the Study of Religion Harvard University, 1984. A.B. magna cum laude in Philosophy Harvard University, 1979. Phi Beta Kappa; Danforth Fellowship Books: Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Crossway, 2007 No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer. WaterBrook, 2005 Dare to Be True: Living in the Freedom of Complete Honesty. WaterBrook, 2003. Jesus Revealed: Know Him Better to Love Him Better. WaterBrook, 2002. After \"I Believe\": Experiencing Authentic Christian Living. Baker, 2002. Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther in the Communicator's Commentary Series. Word, 1993. Contacting Mark: You can reach Mark at: E-mail: mark@markdroberts.com mroberts@laitylodge.org Phone: Laity Lodge: (830) 792-1216 Address: Laity Lodge 719 Earl Garrett Kerrville, TX 78028","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/author\/mroberts"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=52"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=52"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=52"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=52"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}