{"id":469,"date":"2008-06-20T01:01:25","date_gmt":"2008-06-20T01:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/markdroberts\/2008\/06\/recommendation-12-if-you-have-children-choose-a-church-that-will-help-them-to-know-christ-and-to-grow-as-his-disciples.html"},"modified":"2008-06-20T01:01:25","modified_gmt":"2008-06-20T01:01:25","slug":"recommendation-12-if-you-have-children-choose-a-church-that-will-help-them-to-know-christ-and-to-grow-as-his-disciples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/2008\/06\/recommendation-12-if-you-have-children-choose-a-church-that-will-help-them-to-know-christ-and-to-grow-as-his-disciples.html","title":{"rendered":"Recommendation #12: If you have children, choose a church that will help them to know Christ and to grow as his disciples."},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 15 of series: Choosing a Church: Some Recommendations
\n<\/em>Permalink for this post<\/a> \/ Permalink for this series<\/a>
\nObviously, if you don’t have children, then this recommendation isn’t relevant to you. But many who are in the process of looking for a church do have children. In some cases, they are church shopping precisely because they have children, or one child, at least.
\nDuring my tenure as pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church, I noted how often parents with a new baby came to check us out. In many cases these parents grew up with some sort of religious background, maybe even with a strong faith in Christ. But somewhere along the way in their college and young adult years they stopped going to church, even though they continued to believe in God and think that God mattered (mostly for later in life). They were too wrapped up in their educations, their careers, or their young marriages to have time for church. But then, all of a sudden, they were blessed with a baby, and their values began to change. They wanted a place for their child to have moral and religious education, as they often put it. Some would even be more specific about wanting their child to know Christ. But most of the new parents who visited our church had only a vague sense that it was important for their child to have a church experience.
\nI believe that parents are given primary responsibility to help their children know Christ and grow as his disciples. This isn’t something that should be delegate to the Sunday School and youth ministry of a church, even though it often turns out this way. But raising a child as a Christian isn’t something parents are meant to do alone. And in today’s culture which is so hostile to Christian faith and practice, parents desperately need the support and help provided by a strong church.
\nFor many parents, finding a solid children’s program or youth group for their kids is a top priority, trumping many of their own preferences. When friends of mine moved from Irvine to the Chicago area, they hoped to plug in to a Presbyterian church in their community. The church in their town was beautiful, and the worship services were moving to my friends, but the youth ministry was pathetic. They visited Presbyterian churches in neighboring communities, but still couldn’t find a church with a strong, Christ-centered, discipleship-oriented youth ministry. So, after weeks of frustration, they finally visited Willow Creek Community Church, which was a reasonable drive from their home. My friends did not appreciate the Sunday morning worship experience there, which was largely intended for “seekers” rather than mature believers. They liked the preaching, but that was about it. And they did not like the size or the non-denominational ethos of Willow Creek. But their kids loved<\/em> the youth ministry. My friends checked it out, and soon discovered that it was outstanding both in program and in its discipleship of young believers.
\nMy friends called me for advice. They so much wanted to be in a Presbyterian setting. Yet they wanted what was best for their children. So what should they do? My answer was unequivocal: Join Willow Creek! I explained that if, when their children were grown, they wanted to look for another church, that would be fine. But for many years they needed to be in a place that would help their children know and follow Christ. As it turns out, my friends became deeply involved in the ministry of Willow Creek. Soon they had major leadership positions in the church, and were deeply appreciative of its ministry to them.
\n\"VBSWhat will a church that helps children to be disciples of Christ look like? The forms can vary widely. Some churches will have extensive ministries for children and youth. Others, house churches, will include children in many adult activities, seeing discipleship more as a matter of family participation. At the core, however, a church that offers what children and youth need will be very clear about the priority of introducing them to Christ as Lord and Savior, and helping them grow as his active disciples. (Photo: Vacation Bible School [VBS] at Irvine Presbyterian Church. One sign of a healthy children’s ministry is an active VBS like that at Irvine Pres.)
\nIf you are looking for a church and you have children, I’d encourage you to talk with those who are responsible for ministries with children and youth. In many cases these will be directors or pastors. In other situations you’ll be talking with elders or other non-staff leaders. Ask those in charge about their ministries. Be specific in asking about their core purposes. Do they see themselves mainly as entertainment or babysitting? Or are they in the business of making disciples of young people. Go with the church that has a discipleship emphasis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Part 15 of series: Choosing a Church: Some Recommendations Permalink for this post \/ Permalink for this series Obviously, if you don’t have children, then this recommendation isn’t relevant to you. But many who are in the process of looking for a church do have children. In some cases, they are church shopping precisely because…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-choosing-a-church"],"yoast_head":"\nRecommendation #12: If you have children, choose a church that will help them to know Christ and to grow as his disciples. - Mark D. 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Roberts","description":"Mark D. Roberts: Thoughtfully Christian Reflections on Jesus, the Church, and the World","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/1ff094a57b7e41f534434b1723df3d73","name":"Mark D. Roberts","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","caption":"Mark D. Roberts"},"description":"The Rev. Dr. Mark D. Roberts is a pastor, author, retreat leader, speaker, and blogger. Since October 2007 he has been the Senior Director and Scholar-in-Residence for Laity Lodge, a multifaceted ministry in the Hill Country of Texas. Before coming to Laity Lodge, he was for sixteen years the Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church in Irvine, California (a city in Orange County about forty miles south of Los Angeles). Before his time at Irvine Pres, Mark served on the staff of the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood as Associate Pastor of Education. (Thanks to Janel Pahl for taking the photo to the right.) Mark studied at Harvard University, receiving a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in the Study of Religion, and a Ph.D. in New Testament and Christian Origins. He has taught classes in New Testament for Fuller Theological Seminary and San Francisco Theological Seminary. Mark has written several books, including No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer (WaterBrook, 2005), Dare to Be True (WaterBrook, 2003), Jesus Revealed (WaterBrook, 2002), After \"I Believe\" (Baker, 2002), and Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther (Word, 1993). His most recent book is Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (Crossway, 2007). He is currently working on a commentary on Ephesians that will be published by Zondervan in 2014. Mark writes a devotional for The High Calling of Our Daily Work, a website associated with Laity Lodge. His \"Daily Reflections\" can be viewed online or sent as a daily email. If you wish to receive this email, just visit TheHighCalling.org and sign up. Mark serves on the editorial board of Worship Leader magazine, where he publishes articles and reviews, including his regular column \"Lyrical Poetry.\" Additionally, he has published dozens of articles in leading magazines and journals. He often speaks for churches and other Christian groups, and has been interviewed on over seventy-five radio programs nationwide. Mark is married to Linda, who is a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Spiritual Director, and a retreat speaker. They have two children, Nathan and Kara.For Publicity Photos and Bio Statements for Mark, please check here. Mark's Dossier Professional History: Senior Director and Scholar-in Residence, Laity Lodge, October 2007 to present. Senior Pastor Irvine Presbyterian Church, June 1991 to September 2007 Adjunct Assistant Professor Fuller Theological Seminary, 1994 to 2007. Courses: New Testament Theology and Exegesis. Adjunct Instructor San Francisco Theological Seminary, 1995 to 2001. Courses: New Testament Greek and Exegesis Associate Pastor of Education First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, 1987-1991 Teaching Fellow Harvard University, 1980-1983 Education: Ph.D. in the Study of Religion. Harvard University, 1992. Area: New Testament and Christian Origins M.A. in the Study of Religion Harvard University, 1984. A.B. magna cum laude in Philosophy Harvard University, 1979. Phi Beta Kappa; Danforth Fellowship Books: Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Crossway, 2007 No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer. WaterBrook, 2005 Dare to Be True: Living in the Freedom of Complete Honesty. WaterBrook, 2003. Jesus Revealed: Know Him Better to Love Him Better. WaterBrook, 2002. After \"I Believe\": Experiencing Authentic Christian Living. Baker, 2002. Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther in the Communicator's Commentary Series. Word, 1993. Contacting Mark: You can reach Mark at: E-mail: mark@markdroberts.com mroberts@laitylodge.org Phone: Laity Lodge: (830) 792-1216 Address: Laity Lodge 719 Earl Garrett Kerrville, TX 78028","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/author\/mroberts"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}