{"id":313,"date":"2008-01-03T01:01:35","date_gmt":"2008-01-03T01:01:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/markdroberts\/2008\/01\/letting-go-of-a-church.html"},"modified":"2008-01-03T01:01:35","modified_gmt":"2008-01-03T01:01:35","slug":"letting-go-of-a-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/2008\/01\/letting-go-of-a-church.html","title":{"rendered":"Letting Go of a Church"},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 1 of series: Letting Go of a Church
\n<\/em>Permalink for this post<\/a> \/ Permalink for this series<\/a>
\nOn June 30, 1991, I preached my first sermon as Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church. On September 30, 2007, I preached my last sermon as pastor of this fine church. That afternoon I got into my truck and began the 1300 mile drive to Texas so I could start my new ministry as Senior Director and Scholar-in-Residence for Laity Lodge<\/a>.
\nI have not been the Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church for three months after having served in that role for sixteen years and three months. Although I love my new job at Laity Lodge as well as my new ministry colleagues, it hasn’t been easy to let go of Irvine Presbyterian Church emotionally. Pastoring, after all, isn’t simply a job. It engages mind and heart. It’s rather like being the parent and the older brother in a family. Though my official relationship with Irvine Pres ended at midnight on September 30, 2007, my heart connection has continued. I still love the people there and care deeply about the church. (Photo: Irvine Presbyterian Church, December 30, 2007, no longer “my church”)
\nI’ve been especially aware of these feelings recently, since my family and I were back in Southern California for the Christmas holiday. I visited the Irvine Pres campus on a couple of occasions, but not for worship services. Though there’s nothing official to keep me from attending Irvine Pres as a worshiper, I believe that it would not be best, either for the church or for me, just to show up on a Sunday morning. The church is in a season of letting go of me as their pastor, and I am in the midst of letting go of them. For now, it’s best that I keep my distance.
\nThis sort of letting go isn’t easy to do on either side. For me, it requires acting in a way that seems to contradict my feelings. I say “seems to” because, in fact, doing what I believe to be best for the church is consistent with my love for the church. But it feels strange to do this. I expect it’s similar to what a parent goes through when a child goes off to college. The parent might want to call the child every day, but this behavior runs the risk of keeping the child a child, rather than allowing the child to grow up, and allowing the parent to move on to a new kind of relationship with his or her adult child.
\nMany pastors don’t let go when they step down as pastors, much to the peril of all involved. Now I’m sure there have been cases when a pastor stops being the pastor yet remains active in a congregation and the results have been just fine. But these are the exceptions to the rule. And usually these exceptions come after at least a couple of years have passed after the pastor’s official ministry came to an end. I’ve been watching church life pretty closely for the last 23 years, and to this point I have never seen a positive result when a pastor stops being pastor but immediately remains actively involved with a church. In every single case, the ongoing relationship between pastor and church makes a mess of things.
\nNow you might wonder why a retired pastor, for example, shouldn’t just hang around with his former church, joining them in worship, but otherwise not meddling. I can think of a several reasons why this isn’t a good idea. First, it would be extremely difficult for the retired pastor and his former congregation to make the transition to his being no longer the pastor. Second, the very presence of the pastor would make certain kinds of change very difficult, and change is essential for any church, especially a church that has recently said goodbye to a pastor. Third, having a former pastor hang around could easily intimidate the new pastor. Fourth, the temptation for the former pastor to meddle in church affairs would be huge, especially if certain changes were not to the pastor’s liking, something that would almost inevitably be the case.
\nThere are situations when the involvement of a former pastor in a church can be edifying. I’ll have more to say about this later in this series. But I’m not in this season in my relationship with Irvine Presbyterian Church. I am now in the “stay away” period of a pastoral transition. This doesn’t mean I can’t have personal friendships with members. And it doesn’t mean I don’t care for the church and vice versa. But it does mean I need to do nothing that would make this transitional period more complicated, both for the church and for me. As much as it’s hard to stay away, it does seem best at this time. I need to let go of Irvine Pres, and they need to let go of me, at least insofar as our pastoral relationship is concerned.
\nIn this effort, there are several things that are helping me choose and stick with what is best. I’ll begin to mention these in my next post.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Part 1 of series: Letting Go of a Church Permalink for this post \/ Permalink for this series On June 30, 1991, I preached my first sermon as Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church. On September 30, 2007, I preached my last sermon as pastor of this fine church. That afternoon I got into my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pastors-and-churches"],"yoast_head":"\nLetting Go of a Church - Mark D. 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Roberts","description":"Mark D. Roberts: Thoughtfully Christian Reflections on Jesus, the Church, and the World","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/1ff094a57b7e41f534434b1723df3d73","name":"Mark D. Roberts","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","caption":"Mark D. Roberts"},"description":"The Rev. Dr. Mark D. Roberts is a pastor, author, retreat leader, speaker, and blogger. Since October 2007 he has been the Senior Director and Scholar-in-Residence for Laity Lodge, a multifaceted ministry in the Hill Country of Texas. Before coming to Laity Lodge, he was for sixteen years the Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church in Irvine, California (a city in Orange County about forty miles south of Los Angeles). Before his time at Irvine Pres, Mark served on the staff of the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood as Associate Pastor of Education. (Thanks to Janel Pahl for taking the photo to the right.) Mark studied at Harvard University, receiving a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in the Study of Religion, and a Ph.D. in New Testament and Christian Origins. He has taught classes in New Testament for Fuller Theological Seminary and San Francisco Theological Seminary. Mark has written several books, including No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer (WaterBrook, 2005), Dare to Be True (WaterBrook, 2003), Jesus Revealed (WaterBrook, 2002), After \"I Believe\" (Baker, 2002), and Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther (Word, 1993). His most recent book is Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (Crossway, 2007). He is currently working on a commentary on Ephesians that will be published by Zondervan in 2014. Mark writes a devotional for The High Calling of Our Daily Work, a website associated with Laity Lodge. His \"Daily Reflections\" can be viewed online or sent as a daily email. If you wish to receive this email, just visit TheHighCalling.org and sign up. Mark serves on the editorial board of Worship Leader magazine, where he publishes articles and reviews, including his regular column \"Lyrical Poetry.\" Additionally, he has published dozens of articles in leading magazines and journals. He often speaks for churches and other Christian groups, and has been interviewed on over seventy-five radio programs nationwide. Mark is married to Linda, who is a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Spiritual Director, and a retreat speaker. They have two children, Nathan and Kara.For Publicity Photos and Bio Statements for Mark, please check here. Mark's Dossier Professional History: Senior Director and Scholar-in Residence, Laity Lodge, October 2007 to present. Senior Pastor Irvine Presbyterian Church, June 1991 to September 2007 Adjunct Assistant Professor Fuller Theological Seminary, 1994 to 2007. Courses: New Testament Theology and Exegesis. Adjunct Instructor San Francisco Theological Seminary, 1995 to 2001. Courses: New Testament Greek and Exegesis Associate Pastor of Education First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, 1987-1991 Teaching Fellow Harvard University, 1980-1983 Education: Ph.D. in the Study of Religion. Harvard University, 1992. Area: New Testament and Christian Origins M.A. in the Study of Religion Harvard University, 1984. A.B. magna cum laude in Philosophy Harvard University, 1979. Phi Beta Kappa; Danforth Fellowship Books: Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Crossway, 2007 No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer. WaterBrook, 2005 Dare to Be True: Living in the Freedom of Complete Honesty. WaterBrook, 2003. Jesus Revealed: Know Him Better to Love Him Better. WaterBrook, 2002. After \"I Believe\": Experiencing Authentic Christian Living. Baker, 2002. Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther in the Communicator's Commentary Series. Word, 1993. Contacting Mark: You can reach Mark at: E-mail: mark@markdroberts.com mroberts@laitylodge.org Phone: Laity Lodge: (830) 792-1216 Address: Laity Lodge 719 Earl Garrett Kerrville, TX 78028","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/author\/mroberts"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=313"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}