{"id":1444,"date":"2011-02-18T01:13:25","date_gmt":"2011-02-18T01:13:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/markdroberts\/2011\/02\/know-your-limits-and-live-within-them.html"},"modified":"2011-02-18T01:13:25","modified_gmt":"2011-02-18T01:13:25","slug":"know-your-limits-and-live-within-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/2011\/02\/know-your-limits-and-live-within-them.html","title":{"rendered":"Know Your Limits . . . and Live Within Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today, I was exploring The High Calling<\/a>, a website that features “Everyday Conversations About Work, Life, and God.” As I read several articles, I was struck by a curious overlap in content, an intersection of ideas that spoke incisively to me.<\/p>\n

\"high-calling-screen-feb11-5.jpg\"<\/form>\n

I began with “The Work of a Handyman” by Philip Faustin<\/a>. The author reflects on the meaning of his work as a handyman, something he has been doing for 26 years. One particular section of the article stood out to me:<\/p>\n

\n

\nThe voice on the other end of the phone was sad, but resolute. Her
\nbeloved dog had “died a year ago.” It was buried in the back yard in a
\nplastic tote box, “the kind with the snap-on lid,” she said. The family
\nhad to move and “naturally,” she blustered, “Ben needed to go with us.”<\/p>\n

\nAs a regular customer of mine she knew that I was very versatile. She
\ncalled, hopeful. After all, a handyman can do anything, right?<\/p>\n

\nI actually thought about this for a while. I called her back, thankful
\nfor an answering machine pickup. I explained that I would have to pass. I
\ntried to be sensitive, knowing the emotions involved. For the record, I
\nrealize that exhuming animals is not something I do – ever.<\/p>\n

\nAnd that’s a big part of my challenge – knowing my limitations. Certain
\nthings are better left to someone else. I have a simple business plan
\nand I stick to it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Faustin was wise enough to say “no” to a job that just didn’t fit his sense of calling.<\/p>\n

Next, I clicked to a piece entitled “Lessons from Elite Leaders: Limits, Accountability and Marriage.”<\/a> This article, written by Christine Scheller, summarizes the work of Rice University sociologist Michael Lindsay. Here’s how Scheller’s article, the first in an eight-part series, begins:<\/p>\n

\n

\nSetting limits on ambition, being accountable to peers, and getting
\nmarried don’t seem like the keys to career success. But these are three
\nsurprising longevity factors that Laity Leadership Senior Fellow D.
\nMichael Lindsay found in his latest research on elite leaders. The Rice
\nUniversity sociologist has interviewed 500 leaders to date, including
\ntwo former Presidents of the United States, cabinet secretaries, senior
\nWhite House staff, Fortune 500<\/em> executives, and professionals
\nfrom entertainment, non-profit, and media. He talked with leaders in
\neach area about the personal, moral, and social factors that have
\nsustained them over the course of their careers.<\/p>\n

\nLindsay says setting limits is probably the biggest challenge that
\nambitious, talented people face because it is so tempting to “ride the
\ntailwind of achievement.” Effective leaders set limits by establishing
\nregular rhythms that nurture their lives.  Having a regular practice of
\nSabbath rest, for example, is a practical habit that differentiates
\npeople who are successful over the long haul from those who have “a
\ntrail of broken relationships” and significant difficulty creating
\nlife\/work balance.<\/p>\n

\nSetting limits is a self-cultivated discipline, not one that is
\nexternally imposed, says Lindsay. Making a commitment to be home for
\ndinner at a certain time every night, for example, means choosing not to
\nwork late at the office. Ebay.com CEO John Donahoe told Lindsay that he
\ndeveloped the habit of regularly making pancakes for his kids on Sunday
\nmornings as a way to both stay engaged in family life and to bridle
\nprofessional ambition. Unplugging from electronic devices on weekends is
\nanother simple way some leaders create a boundary.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Isn’t that coincidental . . . or perhaps providential? Michael Lindsay is reflecting on lessons he has learned from the most obviously successful leaders in America. Setting limits, he says, is central to their success. And that’s exactly how Philip Faustin begins his piece on working as a handyman. <\/p>\n

Setting limits . . . being able to recognize what we’re supposed to do and what we’re not supposed to do . . . choosing to do the best things only . . . saying “no” to opportunities beyond our limits . . . how crucial this is, and how difficult for some of us. I would confess that I struggle with limit setting. Take my unrealistic optimism, plus my desire to use promising opportunities, plus my tendency to want to please people and not disappoint them, and you have in me a pattern of taking on more than I should in life. <\/p>\n

Today, I am learning from an eloquent handyman as well as from some of the most powerful leaders in the world. I need to know my limits . . . and live within them. How about you? <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Roberts","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f2d\/f2ddf5f080861f66ea230384f9d1bab2x96.jpg","caption":"Mark D. Roberts"},"description":"The Rev. Dr. Mark D. Roberts is a pastor, author, retreat leader, speaker, and blogger. Since October 2007 he has been the Senior Director and Scholar-in-Residence for Laity Lodge, a multifaceted ministry in the Hill Country of Texas. Before coming to Laity Lodge, he was for sixteen years the Senior Pastor of Irvine Presbyterian Church in Irvine, California (a city in Orange County about forty miles south of Los Angeles). Before his time at Irvine Pres, Mark served on the staff of the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood as Associate Pastor of Education. (Thanks to Janel Pahl for taking the photo to the right.) Mark studied at Harvard University, receiving a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in the Study of Religion, and a Ph.D. in New Testament and Christian Origins. He has taught classes in New Testament for Fuller Theological Seminary and San Francisco Theological Seminary. Mark has written several books, including No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer (WaterBrook, 2005), Dare to Be True (WaterBrook, 2003), Jesus Revealed (WaterBrook, 2002), After \"I Believe\" (Baker, 2002), and Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther (Word, 1993). His most recent book is Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (Crossway, 2007). He is currently working on a commentary on Ephesians that will be published by Zondervan in 2014. Mark writes a devotional for The High Calling of Our Daily Work, a website associated with Laity Lodge. His \"Daily Reflections\" can be viewed online or sent as a daily email. If you wish to receive this email, just visit TheHighCalling.org and sign up. Mark serves on the editorial board of Worship Leader magazine, where he publishes articles and reviews, including his regular column \"Lyrical Poetry.\" Additionally, he has published dozens of articles in leading magazines and journals. He often speaks for churches and other Christian groups, and has been interviewed on over seventy-five radio programs nationwide. Mark is married to Linda, who is a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Spiritual Director, and a retreat speaker. They have two children, Nathan and Kara.For Publicity Photos and Bio Statements for Mark, please check here. Mark's Dossier Professional History: Senior Director and Scholar-in Residence, Laity Lodge, October 2007 to present. Senior Pastor Irvine Presbyterian Church, June 1991 to September 2007 Adjunct Assistant Professor Fuller Theological Seminary, 1994 to 2007. Courses: New Testament Theology and Exegesis. Adjunct Instructor San Francisco Theological Seminary, 1995 to 2001. Courses: New Testament Greek and Exegesis Associate Pastor of Education First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, 1987-1991 Teaching Fellow Harvard University, 1980-1983 Education: Ph.D. in the Study of Religion. Harvard University, 1992. Area: New Testament and Christian Origins M.A. in the Study of Religion Harvard University, 1984. A.B. magna cum laude in Philosophy Harvard University, 1979. Phi Beta Kappa; Danforth Fellowship Books: Can We Trust the Gospels? Investigating the Reliability of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Crossway, 2007 No Holds Barred: Wrestling with God in Prayer. WaterBrook, 2005 Dare to Be True: Living in the Freedom of Complete Honesty. WaterBrook, 2003. Jesus Revealed: Know Him Better to Love Him Better. WaterBrook, 2002. After \"I Believe\": Experiencing Authentic Christian Living. Baker, 2002. Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther in the Communicator's Commentary Series. Word, 1993. Contacting Mark: You can reach Mark at: E-mail: mark@markdroberts.com mroberts@laitylodge.org Phone: Laity Lodge: (830) 792-1216 Address: Laity Lodge 719 Earl Garrett Kerrville, TX 78028","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/author\/mroberts"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1444"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1444\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/markdroberts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}