In my last post I confessed that I am by nature someone who avoids conflict. Thus, I am wired not to obey the teaching of Jesus with respect to confronting one who sins against me. Nevertheless, in my effort to obey my Lord, I have sometimes experienced healing and reconciliation that makes that effort more than worthwhile.<\/p>\n
I think, for example, of my relationship with a man I’ll call Les. When I came to Irvine Pres, Len was excited. But, before long, I started doing things that bothered him. So Len would write me long epistles, chronicling at length where I was falling short. These were Les’s version of going directly to me, I think. Not only did the letters contain lists of my purported errors, but also they challenged my personal integrity. At this point, Len had clearly sinned against me. So I would call him up and arrange a one-on-one meeting. I would try to respond to Len’s criticisms, usually by finding one that was in the ballpark of truth. Then I’d explain to Len where I believed he had sinned against me and why. In every case, and there probably were about eight of these conversations, Len would admit that he had wronged me and he would apologize. I’d forgive me. We’d pray together. And our relationship seemed to be mended, until the next time Len sent an epistle.<\/p>\n
But, in time, Len’s epistles became less frequent. He’d still have things to complain about, but he’d do so in less verbose ways. After about four years of this pattern, Len stopped sending letters altogether. He became one of my strongest supporters in the church, and I became grateful for our relationship. (Photo: The fellowship hall of Irvine Presbyterian Church, where we worshiped during my early years there, before we built out sanctuary.)<\/p>\n