{"id":601,"date":"2019-09-10T15:39:23","date_gmt":"2019-09-10T15:39:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=601"},"modified":"2019-09-10T15:40:24","modified_gmt":"2019-09-10T15:40:24","slug":"what-constitutes-cheating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2019\/09\/what-constitutes-cheating.html","title":{"rendered":"What Constitutes Cheating?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><img decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-604 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2019\/09\/Cheating1-1-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Cheating1\" width=\"599\" height=\"399\" \/><\/h2>\n<h2>What is considered cheating?<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Flirting:\u00a0<\/strong>We are ALL guilty of flirtation. If you claim otherwise, you\u2019re in utter denial<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Eye fucking and sexy talk: Inappropriate but not cheating. We\u2019re animals. We spend a big chunk of our day at work, away from our significant other and sometimes we happen to be surrounded by attractive members of the opposite sex. Being playful is one thing, once it crosses the line -and you\u2019ll know when it does- it becomes inappropriate.<\/li>\n<li>Mind fucking: Like masturbation, one should be able to run free in their own mental realm.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Emotionally:<\/strong>\u00a0Wrong, but nope, not cheating. Take a look below at Cheating Vs. Betrayal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Masturbation:<\/strong>\u00a0This is\u00a0<strong>not<\/strong>\u00a0cheating. Whacking it to the thought of your sizzling hot neighbor is a fantasy. If you ever accuse your partner of cheating because of this, you have no business being in a relationship. Also, telling me I can\u2019t cheat on you with my own vagina just makes you sound like a crazy person (believe me, it\u2019s happened before)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Often deemed cheating but are just inappropriate:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Cuddling: Super thin line. Unless you\u2019re being comforted for the death of a loved one or risking hypothermia in the frozen tundra of the Arctic, there is no reason you should be in anyone else\u2019s arms.<\/li>\n<li>Kissing same sex at a party: If you\u2019re egged on to make out with another girl, you\u2019re just a skank. (I\u2019ve done it) If you walk in on your girlfriend hooking up with another girl, she\u2019s cheating (unless she invites you into the circle of love)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Kissing:\u00a0<\/strong>This is\u00a0<em>almost always\u00a0<\/em>considered cheating.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Drunk Escapade:\u00a0<\/strong>You boning someone and blaming the booze is considered cheating. Once you get to the point that you\u2019re so shit-faced you genuinely black out, you are definitely not in conscious state to bone. In this case, grow some balls and own up to the deed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Sexual Affair:\u00a0<\/strong>Unless previously defined as acceptable, sleeping with someone else is universally accepted as cheating.<\/p>\n<h2>What role does a label play?<\/h2>\n<p>So you think because you\u00a0label your relationship\u00a0that boundaries are suddenly assumed?\u00a0<em>Wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The more serious a relationship gets, the more solid the boundaries typically become. When you\u2019re dating, seeing other people is\u00a0<em>technically\u00a0<\/em>okay. You\u2019re really in no position to get angry at someone unless you\u2019ve made it clear that certain behaviors would bother you.\u00a0Once you become exclusive, however, you\u2019re expected to speak up about what you deem unacceptable.<\/p>\n<p>The label itself means nothing. It\u2019s the feelings you have for one another that lead you\u00a0<strong>TO<\/strong>\u00a0such labels that call the shots. If you consider marriage just a lawfully recognized extension of your 4 year relationship, your perception of cheating shouldn\u2019t change.<\/p>\n<h2>Cheating Vs. Betrayal<\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.merriam-webster.com\/dictionary\/cheat\">Merriam-Webster\u00a0<\/a>defines cheating as being\u00a0<strong>sexually<\/strong>\u00a0unfaithful. The pain we experience at the hands of other forms of infidelity, however, is just as painful.\u00a0Finding your significant other having long late-night talks with his\/her coworker hurts too. So does knowing compliments are constantly being exchanged between them.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s important to distinguish the difference between cheating and betrayal without devaluing the impact of either.<\/p>\n<h2>The real definition of cheating<\/h2>\n<p>Jeff Wood from <a href=\"https:\/\/awesomemarriage.com\/\">Awesomemarriage<\/a>, says cheating should be defined per relationship. I couldn\u2019t have said it better myself. There is no magical book that states the laws a relationship is mandated to follow. If a couple decides cuddling is considered cheating and you cuddle with someone other than your significant other, you are a cheater. If a couple deems casual sex with other people as acceptable and emotional intimacy as cheating, then your late night talks with a coworker make you just as guilty.<\/p>\n<p>A basic rule of thumb: if what you\u2019re doing makes you feel guilty, stop. Unsure? Imagine the situation reversed; if your partner was doing what you\u2019re doing and you\u2019d deem it cheating, don\u2019t do it.If you\u2019re unsure of what you consider cheating, imagine having to tell your friends about it. If you feel comfortable telling your dude clan that your girlfriend cheated on you because you found her cuddling with another guy\u2026 well then, cuddling is cheating for you.\u00a0<strong>You decide.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is considered cheating? Flirting:\u00a0We are ALL guilty of flirtation. If you claim otherwise, you\u2019re in utter denial Eye fucking and sexy talk: Inappropriate but not cheating. We\u2019re animals. We spend a big chunk of our day at work, away from our significant other and sometimes we happen to be surrounded by attractive members of&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-601","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Constitutes Cheating? - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2019\/09\/what-constitutes-cheating.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Constitutes Cheating? - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What is considered cheating? 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I\u2019m Alex. I\u2019m just a normal guy like any other guy. But what makes me different, is what makes you want to keep your eye out for my blog. I\u2019ve been studying social dynamics and personal development for the last 15 years. I\u2019ve helped men in meeting women. I\u2019ve helped men reaching their goals in life and I\u2019ve helped myself develop the lifestyle that I want. You can learn all that and draw from my experience through my blog. Why should you read this blog? The goal is simply giving you the tools and knowledge in how you can change your life and create the lifestyle that you want. Do you want to improve your dating life? Do you have goals you don\u2019t know how to reach? Do you feel that your life is boring and feel stuck? I will share my years of experience and knowledge in exactly those areas. Areas in the past which I had trouble with too. 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I am also a freelance editor and writer for Loveawake.com dating site.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/author\/awise"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/601","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/620"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=601"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/601\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":605,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/601\/revisions\/605"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=601"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=601"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=601"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}