{"id":596,"date":"2019-09-10T14:48:56","date_gmt":"2019-09-10T14:48:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=596"},"modified":"2019-09-10T14:52:46","modified_gmt":"2019-09-10T14:52:46","slug":"uncalled-jealousy-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2019\/09\/uncalled-jealousy-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"Uncalled for Jealousy & What it\u2019s Doing to Your Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"adult-affair-beautiful-289224\"<\/p>\n

Admit it: at some point in your life\u2026 you\u2019ve been jealous. I know, it\u2019s exciting: strutting your shit, soothingly telling your new lover, \u201cI don\u2019t get jealous.\u201d But you\u2019re lying and you know it. Every cell in your body makes you want to be the one and only; it doesn\u2019t matter if your social status says otherwise. A recent study by Love Calculator<\/a> showed no difference in amounts of jealousy between men and women. Although women get a bad reputation for being jealous, turns out men are just as bad.<\/p>\n

The Levels of Jealousy<\/h2>\n

Knowing that everyone around you has tasted the bitter taste of jealousy doesn\u2019t necessarily justify\u00a0your\u00a0<\/em>behavior. So what\u2019s considered acceptable and more of \u2018the norm\u2019? What exactly should direct you to the nearest psychiatrist? Let\u2019s explore.<\/p>\n

Level 1: It\u2019s kind of cute<\/h3>\n

This is the most common. It feels like a little tickle of envy, though you don\u2019t necessarily feel threatened.. And even so, you\u2019re quick to realize it\u2019s just the green eyed monster talking. The outsider may be better looking or may be someone who is constantly around your lover \u2013 i.e. a coworker.<\/p>\n

The suspicion is easily treated with a short, reassuring conversation with your love<\/a>. Usually done in a playful manner, your lover will sense your level of uneasiness and rescue you with a few reassuring words.<\/p>\n

Level 2: Moderate<\/h3>\n

Also common is the level of moderate jealousy. This usually arises when dealing with your lovers exes or any one else with a history dating back longer than yours. In such cases, though normal, it needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. Letting this jealousy wild will lead you into dangerous grounds; there is no telling what your mind is capable of making you believe.<\/p>\n

Sit down and talk to your partner, as long as you need to. Get\u00a0everything\u00a0<\/em>out and communicate even the wildest fears. If you don\u2019t, you\u2019ll walk away thinking you\u2019ve been cured and wake up convinced the two of them are planning on eloping.<\/p>\n

Level 3: Psycho<\/h3>\n

Rare, but let\u2019s face it: we\u2019ve all had at least ONE psycho lover.. what makes you think you weren\u2019t that ONE to someone else? At this stage, you\u2019re letting all of your fears take a hold of you; you\u2019ve developed a hatred for someone you may not even know and are convinced that there\u2019s an ongoing plot to fuck you over, leaving you to be the doofus.<\/p>\n

You may even be aware that your behavior is borderline psychotic, but you can\u2019t stop. You know the signs:\u00a0snooping<\/a>, threatening, clinging, contacting the outside parties\u2026<\/p>\n

At this stage, you should end it. I know, this isn\u2019t what your psychoness needs to hear right now.. But unless\u00a0you\u2019ve got a legitimate reason to be worried, the fears are stemming from YOUR OWN insecurities. I\u2019ll be writing an article on the topic in greater detail.. But know that you keying the outsider\u2019s car is\u00a0not\u00a0<\/em>justified behavior.<\/p>\n

In\u00a0most cases, your lover is with you because he\/she WANTS to be. In most cases, you don\u2019t have to worry about someone being fitter or more attractive than you because if that\u2019s what appealed to your lover, they\u2019d be off shagging them and not you.<\/p>\n

Being addicted to the green eyed monster lowers your attractiveness level by \u00a0one too many notches. In some cases, you could literally repel your lover into believing there was cause for suspicion.\u00a0Well now that I really think about it, I DO like the company.. THIS MIGHT BE SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST A FRIENDSHIP!<\/em><\/p>\n

If you spend your relationship<\/a> worrying about the end, it\u2019ll be over before it begins. You\u2019ll be too busy\u00a0over analyzing\u00a0the smallest of details to realize your relationship is slipping through your fingers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Admit it: at some point in your life\u2026 you\u2019ve been jealous. I know, it\u2019s exciting: strutting your shit, soothingly telling your new lover, \u201cI don\u2019t get jealous.\u201d But you\u2019re lying and you know it. Every cell in your body makes you want to be the one and only; it doesn\u2019t matter if your social status…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nUncalled for Jealousy & What it\u2019s Doing to Your Relationship - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2019\/09\/uncalled-jealousy-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Uncalled for Jealousy & What it\u2019s Doing to Your Relationship - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Admit it: at some point in your life\u2026 you\u2019ve been jealous. I know, it\u2019s exciting: strutting your shit, soothingly telling your new lover, \u201cI don\u2019t get jealous.\u201d But you\u2019re lying and you know it. 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