{"id":56,"date":"2018-05-31T08:56:58","date_gmt":"2018-05-31T08:56:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=56"},"modified":"2018-05-31T08:56:58","modified_gmt":"2018-05-31T08:56:58","slug":"teaching-partner-best-friend-play-nice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2018\/05\/teaching-partner-best-friend-play-nice.html","title":{"rendered":"Teaching Your Partner & Best Friend To Play Nice"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"3856790203_a365d20893_b\"<\/p>\n

Two of the most important people in your life, your boyfriend (or girlfriend) and your best friend,\u00a0can\u2019t stand the sight of each other. \u00a0They flat out hate each other. \u00a0You can feel more tension in the air when they\u2019re together than you can at a dinner table with Jay Leno<\/a> and Conan O\u2019Brien<\/a>. \u00a0It\u2019s only a matter of time until the rope (you) in this match of tug of war snaps.<\/p>\n

So what can you do? \u00a0How can you get them to like\u2013 or at least be civil toward each other when their in the same room? \u00a0The answer isn\u2019t that simple considering you\u2019re dealing with people\u2019s emotions and personalities. However with a little help from our \u201cDo and Do Not\u201d list below, you\u2019ll be well on your way down the road of peace and happiness. \u00a0Next stop, North and South Korea\u2026<\/p>\n

Do:<\/strong>\u00a0Talk To Them Individually<\/h2>\n

When you get the opportunity, talk to both of them separately and\u00a0try to figure out why the other person irks them so bad. Try and explain why the other person is so important to you in attempt to open up their eyes as to why they aren\u2019t that bad after all.<\/p>\n

For example when talking to your best friend you could say, \u201cYeah, Joe can be very consuming and protective of me when we\u2019re all hanging out, but it\u2019s just because he cares so much.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or when talking to your boyfriend, \u201cOK, so Sara may like it when all the attention is on her and it may be annoying at times but that doesn\u2019t change the fact that she\u2019s always been there for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the least, they\u2019ll understand why each other is important to you. \u00a0If they truly care about you, then they\u2019ll care that they don\u2019t get in the way of the people you care about.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t:<\/strong>\u00a0Hold a Press Conference<\/h2>\n

Bringing the two parties together and creating a huge spectacle is not going to mitigate the situation. \u00a0Not only will nothing get solved, but the issue at hand will probably get blown out of proportion. \u00a0The last thing you need is for things to turn into a court case with both people trying to convince you they\u2019re right. \u00a0You\u2019ll either crack and end up taking someone\u2019s side, or you\u2019ll remain neutral and both people will leave feeling more hatred for the other than they did in the first place.<\/p>\n

Do:<\/strong>\u00a0Point Out Common Interests<\/h2>\n

If they both love something then there\u2019s a chance that they can find common ground chatting about that. \u00a0Sure they might not become best friends and may still dislike certain aspects of each other, but at least they\u2019d be able to coexist in the same room. \u00a0So if they both hate the Yankees, bring it up in conversation and maybe invite them both to a baseball game<\/a> next time the Yankees are in town. \u00a0You\u2019d be surprised how hating the same thing can actually create quite the bond.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t:<\/strong>\u00a0Ignore What They Have To Say<\/h2>\n

There could be a\u00a0deeper meaning\u00a0as to why the two dislike each other and you\u2019ll never know until you hear them both out.\u00a0Perhaps your best friend has a good suspicion that your boyfriend is cheating on you. \u00a0Maybe your boyfriend has heard that your best friend has been spreading nasty rumors about you. \u00a0Or maybe they simply hate the way each other look. \u00a0Either way, you\u2019ll never get anywhere until you listen to both parties.<\/p>\n

Do:\u00a0<\/strong>Encourage Civility<\/h2>\n

If you\u2019ve tried everything and both parties still can\u2019t agree to get along, focus on being civil. \u00a0It\u2019s one thing to dislike someone and another to making nasty comments and roll your eyes every time they speak. If one of them seems to be acting this way, first let them know it\u2019s time to grow up a little. \u00a0Then explain to them that their just making it harder on you and you\u2019d like them to do\u00a0you<\/em>\u00a0the favor and stop. \u00a0Make it about you rather than about the other person. \u00a0And when all else fails, just remind them that \u201cIf you can\u2019t say anything nice, don\u2019t say anything at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t:<\/strong>\u00a0Force the issue<\/h2>\n

If it\u2019s not meant to be then it\u2019s not meant to be. \u00a0The more you try and push the issue, the more they\u2019ll resent the idea. Sometimes if you let things be, nature will take it\u2019s course and it things will play out for the overall better on its own. \u00a0You bugging them to talk or hang out together will only make matters worse. They might try to fake a friendship just to get you off their back but it won\u2019t be genuine and eventually one will snap.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two of the most important people in your life, your boyfriend (or girlfriend) and your best friend,\u00a0can\u2019t stand the sight of each other. \u00a0They flat out hate each other. \u00a0You can feel more tension in the air when they\u2019re together than you can at a dinner table with Jay Leno and Conan O\u2019Brien. \u00a0It\u2019s only…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-56","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nTeaching Your Partner & Best Friend To Play Nice - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2018\/05\/teaching-partner-best-friend-play-nice.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Teaching Your Partner & Best Friend To Play Nice - 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I\u2019m Alex. I\u2019m just a normal guy like any other guy. But what makes me different, is what makes you want to keep your eye out for my blog. I\u2019ve been studying social dynamics and personal development for the last 15 years. I\u2019ve helped men in meeting women. I\u2019ve helped men reaching their goals in life and I\u2019ve helped myself develop the lifestyle that I want. You can learn all that and draw from my experience through my blog. Why should you read this blog? The goal is simply giving you the tools and knowledge in how you can change your life and create the lifestyle that you want. Do you want to improve your dating life? Do you have goals you don\u2019t know how to reach? Do you feel that your life is boring and feel stuck? I will share my years of experience and knowledge in exactly those areas. Areas in the past which I had trouble with too. 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I am also a freelance editor and writer for Loveawake.com dating site.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/author\/awise"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/620"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=56"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":59,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56\/revisions\/59"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=56"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=56"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=56"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}