{"id":423,"date":"2019-04-19T08:57:19","date_gmt":"2019-04-19T08:57:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=423"},"modified":"2019-04-19T08:57:19","modified_gmt":"2019-04-19T08:57:19","slug":"playing-playing-field","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2019\/04\/playing-playing-field.html","title":{"rendered":"Playing on the Same Playing Field"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How do sports relate to dating? In a surprising number of ways &#8211; no one ever wants to be the last picked, we always want to be the best at it, and we need to understand the rules in order to be good. Some people have raw talent, some people work really hard to improve and some people should change sports but play sports nonetheless.<\/p>\n<p>So, how does this relate to playing fields? Actually I think that the playing field idea is pretty central to whether dating someone is a success or failure. Think of it this way &#8211; you get out there, you&#8217;re all suited up, tennis shoes, shorts, t-shirt, tennis racket, tennis balls, headband, steely eyed and pumped &#8211; and you realize you&#8217;ve just walked onto a baseball diamond.\u00a0 The same thing happens every single day in the world of dating.<\/p>\n<p>So, what&#8217;s this playing field idea about? It&#8217;s about recognizing whether you are compatible in ways that are important to you with the person you are interested in dating. This is about more than whether there&#8217;s lust\/chemistry &#8211; this is about medium and long term connection. So what are these playing fields then &#8211; let&#8217;s start with some of the fun ones before we get too serious:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Travel &#8211; Do you like to travel? Have you been champing at the bit to see the world? Does your idea of a good time involve an island? A mountain? A foreign capital?<\/li>\n<li>Financials &#8211; Do you like to spend money as fast as you get it or do you like<br \/>\nto build up a foundation and plan your financial goals over time?<\/li>\n<li>Living &#8211; Do you like to live closer to the city, more in the country, somewhere in between &#8211; suburbia, mountain tops, beaches?<\/li>\n<li>Events &#8211; Are you a sports bar kind of person, do you prefer something sophisticated (art museums, wine bars, chic lounges), or would you rather just hang out on the couch watching TV?<\/li>\n<li>Ambition &#8211; Are you a hard driving go-getter or do you like to take a little more laid back approach to daily life?<\/li>\n<li>Bedroom &#8211; Are you a 10 times a day lover or someone who could wait a week to get playful and naughty?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So, these are some of the examples of what playing fields look like &#8211; some of these may be deal-breaker level and some of these may just be points of compromise.\u00a0 Any way you look at it though &#8211; you have to take into account the playing field before getting into a serious long term dating relationship with someone.<\/p>\n<p>Time to ask yourself then &#8211; what&#8217;s your playing field?\u00a0 Now the question is why \u2013 well think about it this way \u2013 women spend hours upon hours thinking through and engaging in self-reflection.\u00a0 You know she\u2019s going to be thinking this way \u2013 so why wouldn\u2019t you want to?\u00a0 She\u2019s going to be\u00a0looking at you under the microscope and she wants to know that you have some idea why you are even there with her \u2013 what are you going to say if she asks you about all these things?\u00a0 You gotta have an answer.\u00a0 Remember \u2013 there\u2019s nothing that get\u2019s a girl more annoyed than hearing these three words \u2013 \u201cI Don\u2019t Know\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>At the end of the day \u2013 it\u2019s about compatibility \u2013 no joke \u2013 the opposites attract thing \u2013 first of all the stats on that are terrible.\u00a0 Yes, you may find it exciting but that only lasts until you either have the traits you are attracted to, have gotten bored with the opposing traits, have gotten annoyed with the opposing traits, or don\u2019t even know what to do about them. So, make a list, write down what you are in to, write down what you&#8217;d like to try, figure out where you&#8217;d like to go, how you feel about financials, the bedroom, ambition, living situation, travel &#8211; that&#8217;s a good start to answering the question. \u00a0Look it over and see if the results make sense to you.\u00a0 See if you&#8217;ve really answered the question of &#8220;What is your playing field??&#8221;\u00a0 I&#8217;ll keep developing this topic in the coming months so that you can have a really good idea in your heads as to what playing field you are on today and whether there&#8217;s another field you&#8217;d like to be on in the future.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do sports relate to dating? In a surprising number of ways &#8211; no one ever wants to be the last picked, we always want to be the best at it, and we need to understand the rules in order to be good. Some people have raw talent, some people work really hard to improve&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Playing on the Same Playing Field - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2019\/04\/playing-playing-field.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Playing on the Same Playing Field - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How do sports relate to dating? In a surprising number of ways &#8211; no one ever wants to be the last picked, we always want to be the best at it, and we need to understand the rules in order to be good. 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In a surprising number of ways &#8211; no one ever wants to be the last picked, we always want to be the best at it, and we need to understand the rules in order to be good. 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I\u2019m Alex. I\u2019m just a normal guy like any other guy. But what makes me different, is what makes you want to keep your eye out for my blog. I\u2019ve been studying social dynamics and personal development for the last 15 years. I\u2019ve helped men in meeting women. I\u2019ve helped men reaching their goals in life and I\u2019ve helped myself develop the lifestyle that I want. You can learn all that and draw from my experience through my blog. Why should you read this blog? The goal is simply giving you the tools and knowledge in how you can change your life and create the lifestyle that you want. Do you want to improve your dating life? Do you have goals you don\u2019t know how to reach? Do you feel that your life is boring and feel stuck? I will share my years of experience and knowledge in exactly those areas. Areas in the past which I had trouble with too. However I\u2019ve found the key to solving those problems and I\u2019m sharing it all here, so you don\u2019t have to go through years of trial and error like me. What is lifestyle development? Lifestyle development deals with every area of your life whether it\u2019s being relationships, finances, health or personal growth. The blog\u2019s aim is to help you create the amazing lifestyle that you want. Through my blog you will be able to follow my experiences and lessons. Articles and videos aimed to educate and motivate you into taking the necessary steps in getting the life you deserve. I am also a freelance editor and writer for Loveawake.com dating site.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/author\/awise"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/620"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=423"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/423\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":424,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/423\/revisions\/424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}