Approach anxiety is that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you think about chatting up a new lady. It\u2019s a natural reaction, left over from the caveman days when\u00a0rejection\u00a0meant lowered social status in a small\u00a0hunting\u00a0band and hitting on the wrong woman could get you killed.<\/p>\n
While the risk of being killed has passed, you can still have your social standing lowered by rejection. But I\u2019ve got good\u00a0news. If you can beat approach anxiety, you\u2019ll end up with much\u00a0higher<\/em>\u00a0social standing. Follow these five\u00a0tips\u00a0and be prepared to fight the ladies off.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Approach anxiety is that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you think about chatting up a new lady. It\u2019s a natural reaction, left over from the caveman days when\u00a0rejection\u00a0meant lowered social status in a small\u00a0hunting\u00a0band and hitting on the wrong woman could get you killed. While the risk of being killed has passed,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n\n
\nSo you\u2019re all amped to try this, and the first woman you approach blows you out of the water. It isn\u2019t just a minor brushoff. It\u2019s a total, unmitigated disaster. Or is it? If you see yourself as a social scientist, all failures are actually successes. Why\u2019s that? Because if you\u2019re paying attention, you learn as much from failure as you do from\u00a0success. When a scientist\u2019s hypothesis isn\u2019t confirmed, his experiment isn\u2019t a failure. It\u2019s only a failure if he fails to understand the meaning of the data. So, you learn that \u201cNice\u00a0shoes, wanna screw?\u201d isn\u2019t the best opening line, or maybe just that not every girl is cool enough to roll with you. Now you have a template to modify on the path to success. Next time, just go with \u201cHey, I\u2019m Jeff.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n
\nGuess what, guys? The jury has come back with a verdict on \u201cfake it till you make it.\u201d It works! Don\u2019t believe me? Try it for 30 days (or 21 if you\u2019re feeling lazy\u2014that\u2019s how long some experts say it takes to make a new habit). Stand tall, talk big and act as if you\u2019re the guy with balls of steel, the best job, the hottest chicks, the most\u00a0money\u2026 whatever. I\u2019m not telling you to go out and lie. Just play a little make-believe and see how things\u00a0workout for you. I can guarantee that if you do this right\u2014by really committing to the experiment\u2014you\u2019ll have a much better time at bars. And, hell, on sidewalks, too.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n
\nAnything becomes easier the more you do it.\u00a0Talking to women\u00a0is no exception. Set a number of women you don\u2019t know that you are going to talk to every day, then\u2026 do it. The number should be high enough that it\u2019s a bit of a stretch, but low enough that it\u2019s reasonable. Somewhere between three and five is best. Talk to them at the mall, talk to them on the street, talk to them waiting in line at the grocery store. Don\u2019t be afraid to talk to men, too. The same skills and confidence building result.\u00a0Dogs don\u2019t count\u2026 unless they\u2019re attached to people.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n
\nNow it\u2019s time to go beyond meaningless banter with strangers. Get out more. I\u2019m not telling you to hit a\u00a0bar\u00a0every night. Just become involved in different activities: trivia nights, softball leagues, chess\u00a0clubs, whatever. It honestly doesn\u2019t matter what you do. The point is to get out in a mixed group and mingle with some people who are both familiar and unfamiliar to you. This will\u00a0break\u00a0<\/u>down your approach anxiety by acclimating you to the idea of talking to strangers and having meaningful interactions.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n
\nBeating approach anxiety is a powerful tool that will help ensure you get all interactions off on the right foot. Men and women alike\u00a0love confidence, and you have a real chance to showcase that just by chatting people up within seconds of making eye contact with them. Practice these techniques for three weeks and\u00a0>watch\u00a0your life change. I\u2019m telling you, man, you\u2019ll wonder why you didn\u2019t do this years ago.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n