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While some people have Mrs. Cleaver for a mother, others have mothers at the other end of the spectrum. If you\u2019re grown and still have to dread hearing things like \u201cWell I would have\u201d and \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you\u201d and \u201cYou\u2019re so\u2026\u201d it is time to change.<\/p>\n
You can\u2019t change your mother. She is decades older than you and simply is how she is. The biggest challenge is not to let her get a response out of you. You shouldn\u2019t let her change you, but fighting with her will only make you unhappy.<\/p>\n
Sometimes simple avoidance is the key. If your mother criticizes all your dates, don\u2019t introduce her to anyone until you are at the point of marriage. At this point, warn your partner about your mother\u2019s critical nature ahead of time, and have a conversation in private with your mother. Tell her you would appreciate it if she would keep any negative opinions about you or your partner until after your partner has left. Of course, if she took this advice you would have quit having problems with her along time ago. The point of telling your mother not to criticize your partner isn\u2019t to change your mother. It is to give her the respect of at least telling her how you feel, and also making it clear that there will be consequences if she is rude. If you\u2019ve politely made it clear that you don\u2019t want any insults at the table, and your mother starts to criticize your date, you can excuse yourself and your partner and say that you already told her that you didn\u2019t want her to insult your date. Since she insists on doing it anyways, you and your partner will go elsewhere for dinner.<\/p>\n
Criticism faced daily isn\u2019t something you can necessarily deal with by avoiding your mother. She will still call you. Family holiday visits will still come up. If you are living with your parents for any reason, you really can\u2019t avoid the criticism. In that case, the first thing to remember is that you should never allow your critical parent get a rise out of you. Don\u2019t yell at your parents, ever. Don\u2019t insult your mother back. You\u2019ll become just like her. Moreover, many critical, cantankerous people want you to react. It gives them a sense of power. So no matter what the cost, don\u2019t give your critical mother a big response. Keep everything talking-voice level. Politely say that you don\u2019t agree with her criticism and that the two of you will have to agree to disagree.<\/p>\n
Doing this won\u2019t change your parent. However, it will help you to avoid excess stress. Don\u2019t raise your blood pressure responding to meanness. Ignoring your mother\u2019s criticisms will still leave you needing to vent to a loved one or a therapist from time to time. It isn\u2019t good to hold things in. However, not yelling back and simply walking away will lower your stress level by decreasing the number of fights you have to endure.<\/p>\n
It will also prevent unnecessary damage to your self-esteem. Don\u2019t listen to unhelpful criticism. You don\u2019t have to be degraded by your mother or other critical family member. Let her words roll off of you. Don\u2019t change who you are, don\u2019t change what you do, and don\u2019t change how you act.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
While some people have Mrs. Cleaver for a mother, others have mothers at the other end of the spectrum. If you\u2019re grown and still have to dread hearing things like \u201cWell I would have\u201d and \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you\u201d and \u201cYou\u2019re so\u2026\u201d it is time to change. You can\u2019t change your mother. She is decades older…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n