![\"jonathan-sharp-1096746-unsplash\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2019\/02\/jonathan-sharp-1096746-unsplash-300x200.jpg\")
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There are songs about it, jokes about it, entire movies centered around it: a guy trying to date a woman and being consistently blocked by her “best” “friend”.\u00a0 Unfortunately, unlike the movies, usually the friend in question isn’t some horrible harpy but somebody who sincerely means well and just is tripping up.\u00a0 Furthermore, everybody does this: men and women, gay, bi and straight.\u00a0 Are you doing it unintentionally?\u00a0 Chew these over and see…<\/p>\n
We’ve all made bad, baaaaaad dating mistakes.\u00a0 Whether it’s dating crazy, a weakness for a type that’s wrong for you, or just a decision that would baffle even the weirdest person you know, we’ve all done it.\u00a0 And, not unreasonably, you don’t want your friend to get hurt.\u00a0 Again.<\/p>\n
But ask yourself: are they really going to listen to you?\u00a0 As you make the same points you made last time?\u00a0 And the time before that?<\/p>\n
What To Do Instead:<\/strong><\/em> Talk to them about why they choose the people they choose.\u00a0 Sometimes it’s purely groin magnetism; I have a friend who seemed to have a streak of dating the bitchiest, most miserable people I’ve ever run across…and it turns out they’re what he likes in bed, which shut me up quick.\u00a0 But sometimes it’s something else: if, for example, you have a friend who tends to lust after people in committed relationships, that might be a fear of commitment.\u00a0 Remember, you’re not their therapist…you just want them to start thinking with their head instead of something else.<\/p>\n Until Facebook came along, I didn’t understand what a friend of mine, let’s call her Stacy, saw in her now-husband, let’s call him Dick since that’s appropriate.\u00a0 Dick is the only guy I’ve ever met who got punched out by a member of the clergy, and he thoroughly deserved it.\u00a0 He goes out of his way to be a horrible human being.<\/p>\n Then, when I looked at Stacy’s Facebook, I saw that he’d, among other things, built her mom a new garage, rebuilt her brother’s engine block, does his half of the housework, and generally treats both Stacy and her family incredibly well.\u00a0 It forced me to consider that while in public the guy is a total jackass, he never said anything horrible to Stacy.\u00a0 His behavior has mellowed over time, although he’s still as unlikeable as it gets, but I learned my lesson: in private, the guy’s a lot different.<\/p>\n What To Do Instead:<\/strong> <\/em>Keep an open ear and an open mind.\u00a0 This isn’t to say you should put up with abuse, just talk to your friend instead of clocking their dates.<\/p>\n This is really the big one.\u00a0 If you’ve ever felt yourself thinking “God, you can do better”, it’s time to slam on the brakes.\u00a0 Here’s the key question to ask: do they WANT to do better?<\/p>\n Not every partner is a future soulmate.\u00a0 Sometimes they’re just having fun.\u00a0 While it’s not unreasonable to have an opinion about who they’re dating, always remember: you’re not the one being dated, here.<\/p>\n What To Do Instead:<\/strong> <\/em>Relax.\u00a0 After all, you’re trying to protect your friend…but your friends can only be “protected” to the degree they want to be.\u00a0 Be a good friend by being there and being supportive, not making judgment calls<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There are songs about it, jokes about it, entire movies centered around it: a guy trying to date a woman and being consistently blocked by her “best” “friend”.\u00a0 Unfortunately, unlike the movies, usually the friend in question isn’t some horrible harpy but somebody who sincerely means well and just is tripping up.\u00a0 Furthermore, everybody does…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nYou Don’t See All Sides of A Person If You’re Not Dating Them<\/h3>\n
You Hold Their Dates To Higher Standards Than They Do<\/h3>\n