{"id":252,"date":"2018-11-06T11:56:37","date_gmt":"2018-11-06T11:56:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=252"},"modified":"2018-11-06T11:57:43","modified_gmt":"2018-11-06T11:57:43","slug":"why-people-cheat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2018\/11\/why-people-cheat.html","title":{"rendered":"Why People Cheat"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"giulia-bertelli-99776-unsplash\"This question showed up in my inbox the other day:\u00a0Why do men cheat?<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0This is not the first time I’ve gotten this question. It’s not even the tenth time. I’ve probably gotten the question more than twenty times in the last four years, but I never had a good answer for it until now.<\/p>\n

Before we get to that, let’s be clear about one thing: The real question isn’t why men cheat, but why\u00a0anyone<\/em>\u00a0cheats. Though figures vary among the numerous studies, almost all researchers confirm that\u00a0the percentage of women who stray from committed relationships is growing ever closer to the percentage of men who cheat<\/strong>. So let’s be fair and put the question like this:<\/p>\n

Why do people cheat?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The brainy folk over at Psychology Today claim to know the answer. Here’s an abridged version of\u00a0their article<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Lack of sexual satisfaction.<\/strong>\u00a0The most common reason cited by individuals in the study. Both women and men who have affairs are hoping to improve their sex lives. They may love and enjoy their partners in other ways, but the sex is inadequate in quality and\/or quantity.<\/p>\n

Lack of emotional satisfaction.<\/strong>\u00a0Seeking emotional intimacy can be nearly as compelling a reason to have an affair as seeking physical intimacy. Participants who stated the need for emotional closeness in an affair felt they were lacking this connection to their primary partners.<\/p>\n

Desire for more sexual encounters.<\/strong>\u00a0This was a relatively infrequent reason cited by cheaters in the study, perhaps because it is not a very socially desirable wish to articulate. One man who admitted it said he felt he needed more sex as a reward for performing well at his job.<\/p>\n

Need for emotional validation.<\/strong>\u00a0Being appreciated is a key factor in the emotional connection that partners feel toward each other. Partners may grow apart and, as they do, fail to acknowledge the needs that both have in their relationship. Some will seek to meet those needs elsewhere.<\/p>\n

Falling out of love with your partner.<\/strong>\u00a0This was a relatively insignificant reason in the study, perhaps because “love” is so difficult to define. In the grand scheme of things, having sexual and emotional intimacy seems to trump love.<\/p>\n

Falling in love with someone new.<\/strong>\u00a0Though another infrequent response in the study, some people did claim that falling in love with another person was the cause of their infidelity.<\/p>\n

Revenge.<\/strong>\u00a0In a relationship that is already suffering, the desire to hurt a partner who is (or is perceived as) cheating seems to raise the stakes significantly from mere lack of intimacy.<\/p>\n

Curiosity.<\/strong>\u00a0People who cited this reason felt that they wanted something new, but this motivation seemed to go beyond curiosity and into a need to measure their sexual prowess.<\/p>\n

Does this list seem complete to you? Can you think of other reasons why someone might cheat on his or her partner? Let’s hear them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This question showed up in my inbox the other day:\u00a0Why do men cheat?\u00a0This is not the first time I’ve gotten this question. It’s not even the tenth time. I’ve probably gotten the question more than twenty times in the last four years, but I never had a good answer for it until now. Before we…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy People Cheat - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2018\/11\/why-people-cheat.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why People Cheat - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This question showed up in my inbox the other day:\u00a0Why do men cheat?\u00a0This is not the first time I’ve gotten this question. 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It’s not even the tenth time. I’ve probably gotten the question more than twenty times in the last four years, but I never had a good answer for it until now. 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I\u2019m Alex. I\u2019m just a normal guy like any other guy. But what makes me different, is what makes you want to keep your eye out for my blog. I\u2019ve been studying social dynamics and personal development for the last 15 years. I\u2019ve helped men in meeting women. I\u2019ve helped men reaching their goals in life and I\u2019ve helped myself develop the lifestyle that I want. You can learn all that and draw from my experience through my blog. Why should you read this blog? The goal is simply giving you the tools and knowledge in how you can change your life and create the lifestyle that you want. Do you want to improve your dating life? Do you have goals you don\u2019t know how to reach? Do you feel that your life is boring and feel stuck? I will share my years of experience and knowledge in exactly those areas. Areas in the past which I had trouble with too. However I\u2019ve found the key to solving those problems and I\u2019m sharing it all here, so you don\u2019t have to go through years of trial and error like me. What is lifestyle development? Lifestyle development deals with every area of your life whether it\u2019s being relationships, finances, health or personal growth. The blog\u2019s aim is to help you create the amazing lifestyle that you want. Through my blog you will be able to follow my experiences and lessons. Articles and videos aimed to educate and motivate you into taking the necessary steps in getting the life you deserve. I am also a freelance editor and writer for Loveawake.com dating site.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/author\/awise"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/620"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=252"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":255,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions\/255"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}