{"id":1929,"date":"2021-10-29T15:22:31","date_gmt":"2021-10-29T15:22:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=1929"},"modified":"2021-10-29T15:45:24","modified_gmt":"2021-10-29T15:45:24","slug":"overcoming-shyness-in-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2021\/10\/overcoming-shyness-in-dating.html","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming Shyness in Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"

What do you do when you’re too shy to even walk over to the woman of your dreams? Here’s how to gain the courage you need to approach her and lose your shyness forever.<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"For men, shyness is probably the single most common problem when it comes to offline dating. That\u2019s because if you\u2019re too shy to approach a woman, all of your other fine qualities are wasted. You might be the world\u2019s finest conversationalist, a great listener and have a huge heart, but no woman\u2019s ever going to find out if she never meets you. A recent study by Meetville<\/a> showed that shy men have a tendency to think of internet relationships as easier, safer, and better controlled than in-person relationships.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, it\u2019s easy to gain confidence \u2013 it\u2019s not something you have to be born with and it\u2019s not something that only comes from wealth, career success or fame. You\u00a0can<\/em>\u00a0learn to be confident enough to approach any woman, no matter how shy you are.<\/p>\n

Most shy men stumble on the first step \u2013 plucking up the courage to walk across the room.\u00a0 Knowing how to talk to women is just as important, but that\u2019s a topic worthy of its own article. Here\u2019s a three-step plan for overcoming shyness that\u2019ll let you rapidly gain confidence and approach any woman.<\/p>\n

Deal with your Fear on the Intellectual Level<\/h3>\n

Acknowledge that what you\u2019re about to do isn\u2019t impossible \u2013 You meet new women and talk to them every day, even if it\u2019s just the girl on the checkout. The problem isn\u2019t what you\u2019re about to do, it\u2019s how you see it \u2013 overcoming shyness<\/a> is all about understanding that the problem lies between your ears.<\/p>\n

Imagine your Worst-Case Scenario<\/h3>\n

To almost all men, this is the woman yelling at them or making them look stupid in front of the rest of the room. Now realize that this is\u00a0extremely<\/em>\u00a0unlikely to happen unless you either approach at the wrong time (say, when the woman is drunk), or approach badly (with a cheesy line or groping). Neither of these are things you\u2019re going to do. This only leaves the very rare, completely random bad reaction that could happen to\u00a0any<\/em>\u00a0man. Letting fear of this stop you is like never leaving your house in case you\u2019re hit by a meteor.<\/p>\n

Understand that getting a \u2018No\u2019 is\u00a0Not<\/em>\u00a0a Bad Thing<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is the most important step of all. While the worst-case scenario is very unlikely to happen, once you start approaching women you\u00a0will\u00a0<\/em>hear \u2018No\u2019. There are plenty of ways to reduce the amount of negative responses<\/a> you get, but none of them \u2013 not even the \u2018magic\u2019 methods favoured by the pick-up artists \u2013 will guarantee that you\u2019ll never get a \u2018No\u2019. This is because there are a vast number of factors that will always be out of your control. Everything from past relationships the woman has had to the mood she\u2019s in at that exact moment can affect the answer you get. Even the things you can control \u2013 like your clothes and hair style \u2013 don\u2019t have a \u2018perfect\u2019 solution that will ensure you\u2019ll never get a \u2018No\u2019.<\/p>\n

Simply put, this isn\u2019t about approaching women and getting a \u2018Yes\u2019. It\u2019s about approaching women. The \u2018Yes\u2019 will take care of itself, all else being equal. It doesn\u2019t matter whether you have to approach two women or two hundred to get the \u2018Yes\u2019 you want \u2013\u00a0once you realize that approaching is easy<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Overcoming Shyness Forever<\/h3>\n

What\u2019s left? Experience. This article allows you to get over your fear and make the first approach \u2013 the second will be infinitely easier. The fastest way to erase your fear forever is to make tens of approaches in just one night: approach every woman you see. Soon you\u2019ll be able to approach any woman, however beautiful. What do you say to them once you\u2019ve approached? Try this article on\u00a0talking to women<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do you do when you’re too shy to even walk over to the woman of your dreams? Here’s how to gain the courage you need to approach her and lose your shyness forever. For men, shyness is probably the single most common problem when it comes to offline dating. 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