{"id":1475,"date":"2021-01-22T11:14:49","date_gmt":"2021-01-22T11:14:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=1475"},"modified":"2021-01-22T11:14:49","modified_gmt":"2021-01-22T11:14:49","slug":"topics-to-avoid-on-a-first-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2021\/01\/topics-to-avoid-on-a-first-date.html","title":{"rendered":"Topics To Avoid On A First Date"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

If you want a second, third and fourth date, be careful what you talk about on the first. One wrong comment and instead of his being seduced by your beauty, charm and personality he\u2019s recoiling and looking for the door or forming an unintended impression.<\/p>\n

We all know how important first impressions are. And because this is so, the pressure to make a perfect one can often backfire on us.<\/p>\n

Preoccupation with how we are perceived often results in nervousness which begets a forced or artificial persona, overdoing it, bragging, talking too much or about the wrong subjects.<\/p>\n

Take a deep breath and remember you are not running for the presidency. Your only job on a first date<\/a> is to relax, enjoy yourself and above all portray a light, easy going, positive attitude.<\/p>\n

Here are some specific topics to avoid:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Your Ex<\/strong><\/h3>\n

This should be a given. Don\u2019t complain about your ex, discuss the reasons for the breakup, whine about all the terrible things he did to you or in an attempt to show how strong you are brag about how you \u2018weren\u2019t going to take that crap anymore\u2019, so you threw him out.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t regale him with the \u2018worst date\u2019 stories you\u2019ve had. Nor should you prattle on about all your great dates and the wonderful places they have taken you. He doesn\u2019t want to hear about it. It\u2019s not classy or seductive. It\u2019s boring.<\/p>\n

Sex<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Unless you want to steer the date into sexual territory with the plan of getting some at the end of the evening, don\u2019t talk, joke or hint about sex.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s likely going to be thinking about sex anyway without your help, so if you initiate sexual conversation or encourage his innuendo he\u2019s going to think you are probably open to more than just conversation. If you are not interested in getting horizontal in the very near future, don\u2019t attempt to titillate him as a way of keeping him interested.<\/p>\n

Seduction is about\u00a0BEING sexy, sensual and alluring<\/strong>. It\u2019s about mystery; exuding sexuality with your body language and expressions<\/a>.
\nOvert sexual talk in the beginning will cheapen and diminish feminine mystique. Dirty talk when you are in a relationship certainly has it\u2019s place, but that is another post.<\/p>\n

Anything Self Deprecating<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Don\u2019t talk about diets, cosmetic surgery, any perceived flaws you have physical or otherwise, health concerns or complaints, unresolved emotional baggage, or phobias.<\/p>\n

Some people throw these things out there to seem more down to earth, or think it\u2019s better to lay everything out on the table in an effort to \u2018be honest\u2019.<\/p>\n

Remember that the person across from you is a virtual stranger. At this point, revealing negative information about you is not attractive, nor is it his business.<\/p>\n

Money or Career and Accomplishments<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s one thing to mention what the two of you do for a living, but don\u2019t spend too much time on business. We spend so much time at our place of business, and working on our career and goals<\/a> that the last thing you want to do is make the date feel like a business lunch or networking connection.<\/p>\n

Dates are the time to escape all of that. To laugh, have fun; be swept away from the grind. You don\u2019t want his brain in business mode. Nor do you want him thinking you are overly interested in his social status.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t ask him what kind of car he drives, what neighborhood he lives in, or how much anything costs. And don\u2019t try to impress him with all of your degrees, accomplishments or money either.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not sexy and it winds up looking insecure.<\/p>\n

Politics and Religion<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Enough said.<\/p>\n

These should be obvious hot button topics to avoid and\/or tread carefully through but a little reminder never hurts.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you want a second, third and fourth date, be careful what you talk about on the first. One wrong comment and instead of his being seduced by your beauty, charm and personality he\u2019s recoiling and looking for the door or forming an unintended impression. We all know how important first impressions are. And because…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nTopics To Avoid On A First Date - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Topics To Avoid On A First Date - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you want a second, third and fourth date, be careful what you talk about on the first. 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