{"id":1358,"date":"2021-01-04T16:39:59","date_gmt":"2021-01-04T16:39:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=1358"},"modified":"2021-01-04T16:39:59","modified_gmt":"2021-01-04T16:39:59","slug":"things-to-consider-when-playing-matchmaker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2021\/01\/things-to-consider-when-playing-matchmaker.html","title":{"rendered":"Things To Consider When Playing Matchmaker"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019m all about setting up friends on dates. I\u2019ve been set up by friends on dates and have quite enjoyed myself. However, playing matchmaker can be a tricky and complicated process. Everyone isn\u2019t open to the idea of being matched by their friends, and every potential couple isn\u2019t the perfect couple. In a recently asked question about setting up friends, I received some interesting responses, including one that would have ended a friendship.<\/p>\n

There are some things to consider while playing matchmaker. While you may think a perfect couple is to be had, you don\u2019t know how the two will interact with one another until they are face to face. Just because you think two people will get along well, doesn\u2019t mean that they will.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t try to match people based on surface qualities, such as race, general hobbies (i.e. \u201cthey like computers\u201d) or even basic similarities, (i.e. \u201cshe also has cats!\u201d) There are a few cases where this works, but in general, the surface stuff doesn\u2019t interconnect as well. I\u2019ve experienced being set up with someone just because of my ethnicity. Other than the shade of our skin, we didn\u2019t have anything in common. At first I was slighted by their judgement, they had other friends I had more of an interest in, but they thought this would be the best matchup for me. When I asked them about their thought process they responded with, \u201cI thought you two would have more in common.\u201d While ethnicity is a commonality, it isn\u2019t the deciding commonality between two people. Gender is a commonality, but I don\u2019t see my friends trying to set me up with other men, it\u2019s because they know I\u2019m interested in women. The same goes with a person\u2019s characteristics, don\u2019t set someone up with another person, just because they are the same ethnicity, set them up because they would seem mesh well.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be ignore your friends relationship history. The worst thing you can do is set your friend up with a serial dater<\/a>, or someone who\u00a0consistently\u00a0sabotages their relationships. Be mindful of their dating history, when matching your friends. If one person has just come out of a long relationship, and the other is commitment ready, there may be a poor match in the making. Always think about how each person would act? What would be the potential pitfalls? Would one cheat on the other? Not every relationship will be perfect, however there are some obvious relationship pitfalls to avoid<\/a> if you consider these facts. Also remember, if something happens, they both will come to you for advice.<\/p>\n

Lastly, ask if they want to be set up. Often many aren\u2019t comfortable with blind dates, even from friends. See if your friend is open to the possibility of being set up by you. If it\u2019s a good friend, they will often trust your judgement, if not, you may want to provide some evidence that this person is a good pick for them, this often includes a photo.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m all about setting up friends on dates. I\u2019ve been set up by friends on dates and have quite enjoyed myself. However, playing matchmaker can be a tricky and complicated process. Everyone isn\u2019t open to the idea of being matched by their friends, and every potential couple isn\u2019t the perfect couple. In a recently asked…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nThings To Consider When Playing Matchmaker - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Things To Consider When Playing Matchmaker - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m all about setting up friends on dates. I\u2019ve been set up by friends on dates and have quite enjoyed myself. However, playing matchmaker can be a tricky and complicated process. Everyone isn\u2019t open to the idea of being matched by their friends, and every potential couple isn\u2019t the perfect couple. 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However I\u2019ve found the key to solving those problems and I\u2019m sharing it all here, so you don\u2019t have to go through years of trial and error like me. What is lifestyle development? Lifestyle development deals with every area of your life whether it\u2019s being relationships, finances, health or personal growth. The blog\u2019s aim is to help you create the amazing lifestyle that you want. Through my blog you will be able to follow my experiences and lessons. Articles and videos aimed to educate and motivate you into taking the necessary steps in getting the life you deserve. 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