{"id":1319,"date":"2020-12-24T15:59:12","date_gmt":"2020-12-24T15:59:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=1319"},"modified":"2020-12-24T16:01:10","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T16:01:10","slug":"how-to-apologize","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/12\/how-to-apologize.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Apologize"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

So you messed up\u2026 you know you\u2019ve made a mistake and now you need to confess you are sorry. Whether you know you were wrong because your girl- or boyfriend is giving you the cold shoulder, or you just realized it all on your own, it is important to own up to your mistake and restore the relationship.<\/p>\n

Simply saying \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d is not always enough though. You may very well be sorry, but will you do it again? Have you done the same thing before? If you are a repeat-offender in the relationship game, then your \u201csorry\u201d will be worth less and less over time.<\/p>\n

Even if you have made the same mistakes again<\/a> and again, if you finally realize you were wrong after all and want to make things right, you can simply change up how you say you are sorry.<\/p>\n

How to apologize<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Ever heard an apology that sounds a little like this: \u201cI\u2019m really sorry I called you a bitch, BUT\u2026\u201d?<\/p>\n

The \u201cbut\u201d might be followed with something like \u201cyou drove me to it\u201d, or \u201cI was very frustrated\u201d, or a range of other excuses. This, my friend, is NOT an apology. Here you are saying you\u2019re sorry, but you are actually shifting the responsibility over to the other person again. You are not saying sorry, you are instead blaming<\/em>\u00a0the other person<\/a> for\u00a0\u2018making\u2019<\/em>\u00a0you do something you now regret.<\/p>\n

You may still be forgiven, but the relationship will never be what it was, or could be.<\/p>\n

A better way to apologize<\/a> and actually restore your relationship, you truly have to own what you say, and mean it. It will depend on the person you are apologizing to in terms of how you will end up phrasing things. However, you will generally say you are sorry for a specific action or comment, and then explain you will try your best not to do it again.<\/p>\n

If you are a repeat offender, then just saying you won\u2019t be doing it again holds little value after three times. Your promise will be greeted with the \u201cyeah yeah\u201d it is worth. Instead, explain\u00a0what<\/em>\u00a0you will to do prevent making the same mistake.<\/p>\n

If you call your loved-one names, and although you would like to stop it seems you keep doing it again, make sure you distance yourself from a situation where this behavior is triggered. If you yell during fights about particular topics, then take some distance. Go for a walk, clear your head, and only return when you are calm enough to face this issue like an adult and talk<\/a> it through.<\/p>\n

Dealing with the emotional trigger<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Having said that, it takes two to tango and if your partner acts like a child during a disagreement, then perhaps you should have a chat about communication skills. There isn\u2019t a thing in the world that really requires raising your voice for, so if your name-calling is triggered by her yelling, then although you have to own up to your mistakes, you still need to find a way to peacefully discuss a hot topic. That\u2019s for another article though\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So you messed up\u2026 you know you\u2019ve made a mistake and now you need to confess you are sorry. Whether you know you were wrong because your girl- or boyfriend is giving you the cold shoulder, or you just realized it all on your own, it is important to own up to your mistake and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Apologize - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Apologize - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So you messed up\u2026 you know you\u2019ve made a mistake and now you need to confess you are sorry. 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However I\u2019ve found the key to solving those problems and I\u2019m sharing it all here, so you don\u2019t have to go through years of trial and error like me. What is lifestyle development? Lifestyle development deals with every area of your life whether it\u2019s being relationships, finances, health or personal growth. The blog\u2019s aim is to help you create the amazing lifestyle that you want. Through my blog you will be able to follow my experiences and lessons. Articles and videos aimed to educate and motivate you into taking the necessary steps in getting the life you deserve. 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