{"id":131,"date":"2018-08-03T15:20:15","date_gmt":"2018-08-03T15:20:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=131"},"modified":"2018-08-03T15:20:15","modified_gmt":"2018-08-03T15:20:15","slug":"8-great-ways-kill-mood-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2018\/08\/8-great-ways-kill-mood-bed.html","title":{"rendered":"8 Great Ways To Kill The Mood In Bed"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"bed-bedroom-blanket-545015\"<\/p>\n

Want to turn the hot-and-heavy into the cold-and-awkward in the blink of an eye? Do any one of these things and watch the fun come to a screeching halt. Or so we’ve heard. Ahem.<\/p>\n

1) Mention a former lover<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Touch me there. Oh yeah, that’s it. Reginald used to do that.” Because that’s exactly what a guy wants to think about when he’s doing you: you doing Reg.<\/p>\n

2) Laugh at his equipment<\/strong><\/p>\n

Is it tiny? Huge? Weird-looking? Go ahead, laugh. Guys aren’t sensitive at all about their junk. As long as you’re entertained, it’s okay.<\/p>\n

3) Scream like a freak<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, that’s it, shriek like he’s carving you up with a chainsaw. Go ahead, wake the neighbors. Maybe they’ll call the cops. Guys love talking to the cops on the front lawn in the middle of the night with the entire neighborhood watching. It’s like a block party but without the fun.<\/p>\n

4) Don’t make a sound<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ah, the silent type. Guys love that. Who needs feedback? It’s like you were roofied or something. That’s not creepy at all.<\/p>\n

5)<\/strong>\u00a0Get distracted<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course he won’t mind if you watch “Cougar Town” over our shoulder while he’s porking you. It’s a great show. Just promise to switch places so he can catch the ending.<\/p>\n

6) Ask if he’s close<\/strong><\/p>\n

He was, but not anymore. That’s okay, though–it’s only been two hours. Why rush things?<\/p>\n

7) Bark orders at him<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes! There! No! Lower! Wait! To the left! Left! Oh yeah! Faster! Slow down! Other side! No! Not there! Up! Higher! Yes! Harder! Do it! Do it!<\/em><\/p>\n

Hell yeah! Make him feel like Charlton Heston rowing a Roman warship in\u00a0Ben-Hur<\/em>. Dudes dig\u00a0Ben-Hur<\/em>!<\/p>\n

8) Slip a digit in his back door<\/strong><\/p>\n

Guys love surprises, especially in the anus. Go ahead, bury that finger without any warning. Watching him jump out of his skin will be hysterical. You’ll both laugh about it.<\/p>\n

Get cracking, and let me know how it goes, mkay? Happy humping!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Want to turn the hot-and-heavy into the cold-and-awkward in the blink of an eye? Do any one of these things and watch the fun come to a screeching halt. Or so we’ve heard. Ahem. 1) Mention a former lover “Touch me there. Oh yeah, that’s it. Reginald used to do that.” Because that’s exactly what…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n8 Great Ways To Kill The Mood In Bed - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2018\/08\/8-great-ways-kill-mood-bed.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Great Ways To Kill The Mood In Bed - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Want to turn the hot-and-heavy into the cold-and-awkward in the blink of an eye? 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However I\u2019ve found the key to solving those problems and I\u2019m sharing it all here, so you don\u2019t have to go through years of trial and error like me. What is lifestyle development? Lifestyle development deals with every area of your life whether it\u2019s being relationships, finances, health or personal growth. The blog\u2019s aim is to help you create the amazing lifestyle that you want. Through my blog you will be able to follow my experiences and lessons. Articles and videos aimed to educate and motivate you into taking the necessary steps in getting the life you deserve. 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